What Really Makes Men Cum Easily

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By Josephine Aidoo
By Josephine Aidoo

As I was sitting in my office sipping on some ice tea, it came to mind about a discussion I had a week ago with my girlfriend and how pissed she was, simply because she had sexual intimacy with her boyfriend but he reached his orgasm too early and she did not
 I didn’t understand why she was pissed when she actually enjoyed it. Besides she confessed it has not been like that but that particular day she was really in a good mood for some good orgasm and her boyfriend spoilt that for her. 
That experience got me thinking about what could have made the guy (cum) so early and by early I mean within 2 minutes. Could it be that he was so tired, stressed or just not in the mood? 
I keep asking myself, did the guy feel the same way as my friend felt because he reached his orgasm early?
What at all makes men release that early? I asked a male friend
“Sometimes its due to over excitement. He said”
Well, I didn’t understand why over excitement could make a guy (cum) early I thought that should rather make him last long to enjoy it better.
I remember my experience, (gosh! you got me, am not a virgin) the guy release within a minute. I didn’t feel bad because I was not in the mood in the first place. I saw how sad he was because he couldn’t give me the satisfaction I needed. I tried to talk him out of it but I guess it didn’t help as the next day he still had that same sad face (can’t believe am spilling all my secret).
Now I want to ask:
1. Do guys really feel bad about releasing early? 
2. Do they really feel bad because they couldn’t satisfy us? 
3. Is it due to over excitement as my friend told me or there is more to it? 
4. Or could it be that its due to some medical condition?
 Well I guess I can only get these answers from my male friends out there. 
Guys, please help.

1 COMMENT

  1. How fast is too fast?
    men who suffer from premature ejaculation “always or almost always” reach orgasm within about one minute of starting sex. If both you and your partner are happy with your sex life, it doesn’t really matter if if takes one minute or 20. But just for the sake of information, the average time from arousal to ejaculation is usually around five to 10 minutes. If you aren’t lasting long enough to keep you or your partner satisfied, its time to do something about it.
    Does this happen a lot?
    Premature ejaculation is a very common problem. According to some estimates, about 40 percent of Ghanaian men currently have the complaint. Some men may not be aware they have a problem, though, because their partners are reluctant to talk about it. Usually, premature ejaculation (also called involuntary ejaculation) is a temporary condition among young, inexperienced men or people beginning a new relationship.
    What causes it?
    In most cases, premature ejaculation is caused by one of two things: excitement or anxiety. The first few times a young, inexperienced man has sex with a partner, he may have trouble controlling the way he responds — it feels involuntary, like being on autopilot. Usually, practice makes perfect. He (and his partner) may also be afraid that what they’re doing is wrong, or worried they’ll get caught in the act, so the sex is often rushed and unsatisfying.
    In some cases, the problem doesn’t go away over time. Climaxing quickly may begin during youth and then become an unconscious, physically ingrained habit that persists later in life.
    If the problem crops up during adult years, it’s probably due to anxiety (although the excitement factor can return if, for example, you’re having sex after a long break or with a new partner). Any number of things can cause anxiety during sex, including wanting to avoid pregnancy, stress at work or in other areas of your life, and the fear that you may not be pleasing your partner.
    Its rarely caused by physical disorders, but possible causes include multiple sclerosis, extreme sensitivity in the penis, injury to the nerves, and other neurological problems.

  2. How fast is too fast?
    men who suffer from premature ejaculation “always or almost always” reach orgasm within about one minute of starting sex. If both you and your partner are happy with your sex life, it doesn’t really matter if if takes one minute or 20. But just for the sake of information, the average time from arousal to ejaculation is usually around five to 10 minutes. If you aren’t lasting long enough to keep you or your partner satisfied, its time to do something about it.
    Does this happen a lot?
    Premature ejaculation is a very common problem. According to some estimates, about 40 percent of Ghanaian men currently have the complaint. Some men may not be aware they have a problem, though, because their partners are reluctant to talk about it. Usually, premature ejaculation (also called involuntary ejaculation) is a temporary condition among young, inexperienced men or people beginning a new relationship.
    What causes it?
    In most cases, premature ejaculation is caused by one of two things: excitement or anxiety. The first few times a young, inexperienced man has sex with a partner, he may have trouble controlling the way he responds — it feels involuntary, like being on autopilot. Usually, practice makes perfect. He (and his partner) may also be afraid that what they’re doing is wrong, or worried they’ll get caught in the act, so the sex is often rushed and unsatisfying.
    In some cases, the problem doesn’t go away over time. Climaxing quickly may begin during youth and then become an unconscious, physically ingrained habit that persists later in life.
    If the problem crops up during adult years, it’s probably due to anxiety (although the excitement factor can return if, for example, you’re having sex after a long break or with a new partner). Any number of things can cause anxiety during sex, including wanting to avoid pregnancy, stress at work or in other areas of your life, and the fear that you may not be pleasing your partner.
    Its rarely caused by physical disorders, but possible causes include multiple sclerosis, extreme sensitivity in the penis, injury to the nerves, and other neurological problems.

  3. You can also try one of these tricks:
    • Masturbation. Having sex alone about two to four hours before the big event helps some men have a stronger, longer-lasting erection the second time around.
    • The stop-and-start technique. While you’re experimenting by yourself or having sex with your partner, take a little break just as you’re about to reach your “point of no return” and climax. Try to relax for about 20 or 30 seconds, and then start again.
    • The squeeze method. This is like the stop-and-start method, but when you take a break, try squeezing the tip or middle of your penis with your thumb and index finger for several seconds. Stop squeezing, wait about 30 seconds, then continue lovemaking as before. This helps many men delay their orgasms.
    • The lower position. Many men find it easier to prolong lovemaking with the woman on top, because you don’t have to support your weight and you can relax more. This position can also reduce sensitivity in some men. If you haven’t tried it, experiment and see if it helps you.
    • Anesthetic creams. Applied to the tip of the penis about 30 minutes before sex, these creams can make the penis less sensitive and delay ejaculation. Be sure to wash the cream off before sex because some studies have shown anesthetic creams may cause loss of erection or vaginal numbness. And remember, it’s always a good idea to talk with your doctor first before using any medical product.
    Most sex therapists agree that after several weeks of practice, one of these methods can help about 95 percent of men feel more in control and last longer.
    What if none of these things helps?
    Don’t forget that you have other options for pleasing your partner. Most women (about 75 percent) have orgasms through clitoral stimulation. Fingers and toys are perfectly good substitutes in this case, as is oral sex; just ask her what she likes and keep trying until you hit on the right technique.
    Since there usually isn’t a physical cause for rapid ejaculation, try working on your master sex organ — your brain. A few sessions with a sex therapist may be enough for you to learn how to deal with your anxieties and relax, often through guided imagery breathing exercises.
    Try out various methods; usually one of these suggestions will be the solution. If you don’t see any improvement in a few months, you may have a physical problem or a deeper emotional issue to work out. Your doctor or therapist may also recommend antidepressants — one of their notorious side effects in both sexes is depressed libido and delayed orgasm.

  4. You can also try one of these tricks:
    • Masturbation. Having sex alone about two to four hours before the big event helps some men have a stronger, longer-lasting erection the second time around.
    • The stop-and-start technique. While you’re experimenting by yourself or having sex with your partner, take a little break just as you’re about to reach your “point of no return” and climax. Try to relax for about 20 or 30 seconds, and then start again.
    • The squeeze method. This is like the stop-and-start method, but when you take a break, try squeezing the tip or middle of your penis with your thumb and index finger for several seconds. Stop squeezing, wait about 30 seconds, then continue lovemaking as before. This helps many men delay their orgasms.
    • The lower position. Many men find it easier to prolong lovemaking with the woman on top, because you don’t have to support your weight and you can relax more. This position can also reduce sensitivity in some men. If you haven’t tried it, experiment and see if it helps you.
    • Anesthetic creams. Applied to the tip of the penis about 30 minutes before sex, these creams can make the penis less sensitive and delay ejaculation. Be sure to wash the cream off before sex because some studies have shown anesthetic creams may cause loss of erection or vaginal numbness. And remember, it’s always a good idea to talk with your doctor first before using any medical product.
    Most sex therapists agree that after several weeks of practice, one of these methods can help about 95 percent of men feel more in control and last longer.
    What if none of these things helps?
    Don’t forget that you have other options for pleasing your partner. Most women (about 75 percent) have orgasms through clitoral stimulation. Fingers and toys are perfectly good substitutes in this case, as is oral sex; just ask her what she likes and keep trying until you hit on the right technique.
    Since there usually isn’t a physical cause for rapid ejaculation, try working on your master sex organ — your brain. A few sessions with a sex therapist may be enough for you to learn how to deal with your anxieties and relax, often through guided imagery breathing exercises.
    Try out various methods; usually one of these suggestions will be the solution. If you don’t see any improvement in a few months, you may have a physical problem or a deeper emotional issue to work out. Your doctor or therapist may also recommend antidepressants — one of their notorious side effects in both sexes is depressed libido and delayed orgasm.