The Jailbird Episode 72





Listen, Baaba. Junior doesn’t want his father to go back to prison. Frankly, I don’t want Chris to go to prison either because if that happens I’ll lose Chris and Junior. So I’ve decided to make a great sacrifice.

Baaba looks at Effe and scowls darkly.

She chews her gum rapidly, and her eyes are suddenly not so sweet anymore, but hard and calculating.



Come on, Effe, what do you think you’re doing? It’s over. Please give it up.

Effe ignores him.



Baaba, I don’t want to lose my son. So I’m giving up on Chris. I don’t really think you want him in prison too. You’ll also lose him, because he hates you now. So, this is my plan, Baaba. I’m convinced you have the wedding rings Chris bought for me, but I don’t want it. I don’t want to marry Chris anymore. You can have him all to yourself. In fact, if you bring the rings right now you and Chris can get married right here. Judge Ossom will officiate and you can walk out of here as Mrs. Baaba Bawa. Mrs. BB. That sounds really nice, doesn’t it?

Baaba stops chewing immediately.

She narrows her eyes at Effe. She slowly takes out the gum and presses it on top of the table.



Are you making fun of me? Do I look like a fool to you, you ugly little b****?



No, no, no! Baaba, you want to marry Chris, don’t you? He made your body sing, didn’t he, with that sweet touch of his? Think about it! If he goes to prison we’ll both lose him. But I’m ready to let him go for my son’s sake! You’ll have him all to yourself, and have beautiful children. I can make him marry you right here if you bring the rings! But if you don’t give me the rings he cannot marry you!



He raped Baaba! He’s a liar! Get away from me! Chris Bawa raped Baaba! Babs also hates him! He doesn’t love me! He’ll rot in prison and no woman will have him! No pussy for Chris, no p**** for Chris!

Her voice is so high, so filled with hatred, so putrid with the decay of her feelings that it shocks everybody.


My good gracious!

Effe shrugs and turns away.


Alright. It seems to me you don’t really want to marry my Chris. You hate him. I’ll marry him now, and I’ll go and work at the Nsawam prison and be with him all the time. We’ll make love every night. Your loss, Baaba!



Whore! S**t! B***h! Prostitute! Harlot! Chris doesn’t love you! He raped Baaba! Chris raped poor poor Baaba! Chris will rot in prison!

Veins stand out on her neck, and her lips are frothing as she screams, and at that moment there is nothing ladylike about her.

She looks so much like a wild animal that all those watching, in the court and on televisions across the country, stare at her with absolute shock. Stunned out of their wits.

Effe dips her hand into her skirt pocket and brings out her wedding bands.

Chris and Junior are now standing side by side, looking at Effe with awe.

Effe puts her arms around Chris’ neck and kisses him deeply.

Baaba jumps to her feet instantly, her voice emitting a low snarl, her fingers hooked like claws.

The judge stares at her with a sick feeling in his guts.


Oh, my God!

Effe looks at Chris lovingly.


Chris-Love, do you still have your wedding ring?

Chris looks confused, but he nods.


In my back pocket, Princess.

Effe reaches into Chris’ back pocket and takes out the ring.

She walks up to the puzzled Judge.



Please, Judge, would you marry us off again and allow us to have our honeymoon at the Nsawam Prison?


(in a fierce whisper)

What game are you playing, Lawyer? You’re really trying my patience today.

Effe looks at him desperately, and she is panting with the depths of her passion.



Please trust me, sir! I’m convinced she suffers from Dissociative Identity Disorder.



Multiple Personality Syndrome?



Yes, sir. That’s why she was able to beat the lie detector. There are two distinct personalities living in her mind, and she switches between them at moments convenient to her. If my hunch is right, she’ll not allow me to marry Chris.

The judge frowns as he takes the rings from Effe


This better work, Counsel, otherwise I’m sending you straight to prison too.


Trust me, sir, please. I beg of you.

The courtroom is midnight silent as the confused spectators look on.

They are all mostly looking at Baaba whose facial expression is getting darker by the minute, her rage evidently mounting as she breathes audibly.



Release Mr. Bawa.

Looking absolutely enraged, Cuger once more unlocks Chris’ handcuffs.


Alright, Effe and Chris, come and stand in front of me. I’ll marry you off, and you can have one month honeymoon at home before Mr. Bawa goes to prison to begin his sentence.

Baaba is watching them like a trapped animal, and then suddenly she moves forward with a sudden burst of speed, her face twisted out of shape with basic putrid acid.



Wait! Stop it this instant! Chris, my love, don’t marry that stinking whore!

Everybody stares at her.

Because her voice has changed!

Her voice has become deep and heavy and very passionate.


(under his breath)



Awurade Nyankopon!


I’ll be damned!

Baaba opens her handbag and takes out a stunning glass box.

She presses a button, and the lid slides open, revealing the three lovely diamond-studded rings Chris had bought, and which he thought were lost.

Baaba grabs Effe’s shoulder and turns her around.

Her face is sweaty and nasty, and she glares at Effe with a desperate animalistic wildness.



Alright. Here are the rings. Chris is mine. I accept your offer. I’ll marry Chris now. Look at my rings. Here! Aren’t they beautiful? They’re for me and Chris. We’re going to get married. Chris darling, I’m here. Let’s get married.

Effe cannot believe her eyes.

The judge cannot believe it.

The members of the jury just stare with absolute trepidation.

The crowd has never seen anything like it.

The silence is so thick that a feather dropping would have sounded like an exploding bomb.



Ohhhh yeaaah! Transformer Megathron Baaba! I told you! I really really really told you the ring is the key, Mommy!


We’re going to get married! Me and Chris, my darling! He loves me, only me! Don’t you, my love?



Yes, he loves only you Auntie Baaba.



Oh, Lord, no! No, no, no, no!

Effe takes the glass case and looks at Baaba, trying to keep the shock out of her face.



But you can’t marry Chris just yet, Baaba!


(screaming, demented)

AND WHY THE HELL NOT? You told me you’re leaving him for me! Don’t make me angry!



Because you told lies about Chris, Baaba, and he’s going to prison. I understand you were hurt and angry because he rejected you and told you he bought the rings for me. You have to tell the truth, Baaba, then the judge will free Chris, and you can get married and spend the rest of your life with him. He’ll be all yours!

Baaba turns to the judge.

There are conflicting emotions on her face.

Her eyes are shifting, and crafty. Sweat glistens on her face, and she licks her lips repeatedly.

Judge Ossom walks up to her and puts a kind hand on her shoulder.


I know how painful it is for your heart to be toyed with, Miss Brooks. I see a whole lot of hurt and misunderstanding here. If you truly love this man, let me know what happened. I’ll release him, and you can be happy together.

Baaba’s lips tremble, and suddenly tears come to her eyes.

She looks very vulnerable, and lost, and young.

Tears trickle down her face, and Judge Ossom takes a hankie and tries to wipe her tears.

His left hand is on her shoulder, and the handkerchief is in his right hand, and he is rather very close to Baaba when he touches her cheek with the hankie.

And that is when Baaba finally flips.

She gives a blood-cuddling scream and slams a knee into the judge’s groin, her eyes flaming, her face demented.

Judge Ossom yells and crashes to the floor, holding his throbbing groin.


(hissing dangerously)

Nooo, Daddyyyy! Take your filthy paws off Babs, you dirty stinking child f*****!!! You piece of shit!! I’ll kill you, Daddy, if you put your penis-snake inside Babs one more time! You’re sick, Daddy, and you need help! Babs is your daughter, you stupid mad incestuous fool! Babs is a baby, an innocent girl. Why do you f*** her, Daddy? You’re supposed to protect her, to love her, not destroy her, you piece of perverted shit!

She is now crying and speaking in a sing-song kind of voice, making the whole sight incredibly macabre.

The onlookers are now absolutely stunned and hushed, everyone sitting so still that it seems uncannily like they are carved from stone.

She raises her foot to crush the judge’s head, but Atakora holds her and pulls her back.

But she is as slippery as an eel, and she spins out of Atakora’s arms and delivers an uppercut to his jaws that sends Atakora crashing into the table.

She spins, wild-eyed, insane, as dangerous as a lioness, but when she sees Chris she suddenly goes rigid, and she relaxes.

She whimpers like a little girl, totally changed from the evil hellcat she had been just a moment ago.

She moves forward and falls against Chris, holding him tightly.



Oh Chris, my precious, my treasure, Baaba is so sorry! Chris made Babs so angry and hurt when he said he wouldn’t marry Baaba. It wasn’t me, Chris. It was Babs who smashed Chris’ head and dragged him to the kitchen. It was not me, my love…. it was Babs! Babs is so bad!

Chris holds her, aghast at her sudden breakdown.

The judge stands up groggily, moaning with pain. Atakora drags himself up, and he tastes blood in his mouth.

Effe steps in front of Baaba.



What happened when you dragged Chris into the kitchen, Baaba?

Baaba screams and flings a hooked hand at Effe, aiming for her eyes, but Effe springs back quickly.



Shut up, shut up, shut up! It wasn’t Baaba! Don’t you come and accuse me in front of Chris, my darling! Baaba will never hurt Chris, you whore! It was Babs! Babs hates Chris so much! Babs does horrible things to Chris!

Effe holds up her hands in mid-air pleadingly, placatingly.



I’m sorry, Baaba! I know you’re good and loves Chris. Please forgive me. What did Babs do in the kitchen?

Baaba sniffs and plays with Chris’ buttons.

She speaks softly.


Once in the kitchen Babs injected Chris with an Indian aphrodisiac, so that even though he was almost unconscious, he had an erection. Then Babs removed all her clothes. I begged her to stop but she wouldn’t listen. She forcibly sat on Chris so that she’ll get lacerations in her vagina to look like rape. She continued doing that until she is convinced that a lab report will show traces of Chris’ semen in her, and also reveal lacerations of forced entry indicating rape. Hmmm. Babs is so wicked.

Her voice trails off and she pushes her hand through the space in Chris’ shirt and caresses his chest.

The room is dead quiet.

Everybody is stunned.

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Go on, Babs, what happened next?

Baaba screams shrilly and spits in Effe’s direction.




I’m very sorry, Baaba. Forgive me. If you want Chris –



I loooove Chris Darling!


Yes, I know. And Chris loves you too, but you have to tell the truth or Chris will go to prison and you can’t get married then.


Well, afterwards, Babs heated some cocaine and injected it through Chris’ veins whilst he was lying on the floor unconscious, and then she scattered some cocaine around the kitchen. The cocaine was in her bag. Babs uses cocaine but Baaba doesn’t! Anyway, i saw Babs grabbing Chris’ hand and using his fingers to scratch her face so that her skin will get under Chris’ fingernails. And then she scratched Chris’s face too to make it look like he was raping her and she fought back.



Awuradze Nyankopon! Aba boshit nso nyi! Awuradze, maayε mbelεdze papa o!



Jesus, I’ll be damned!



Baaba, we saw a lot of bruises on Babs. Terrible bruises to her face, ribs and other parts.


Babs did that to herself.


Seriously? Surely that isn’t possible!



She did it herself! She did, she did!



I don’t believe you! I don’t believe you, Baaba! Tell Babs to show me how she did it!



You plastic whore! Babs will show you! Oh yes, Babs will show you!

And then, to everybody’s horror, Baaba Brooks delivers a very violent and diabolical blow to her own face, causing blood to flow from her nose!

She ran and smashed herself against the witness stand, and crashed her own head down hard on the guard rail in front of the Jury with a sickening crunch.

And then she used her own fists, both of them, to hammer her own ribs repeatedly as blood trails down her face from a nasty cut that has opened up on her forehead.



That’s enough, Babs! Please come back here!

Baaba walks in pain towards them.

She is bleeding from the cut in her nose and a deep gash on her forehead.

She smiles in a macabre way.


Let’s get married, my darling Chris! I will marry you! Evil Babs tried to separate us by framing you for choosing this stupid Effe bitch over me. Effe doesn’t believe you. She doesn’t trust you. She doesn’t love you. Do you see what she did to you? She even tried to prosecute you, the damn bitch! How can you love someone like her? Marry me! Your love will drive Babs away for good!

Judge Ossom stares at her, then at Chris, and his face is stunned.

He tries to speak, but he just splutters.



My dearest sweetest Jesus! What did we do? Mr. Chris Bawa, we have wronged you most terribly.

Stunned, Chris takes a shuddering breath and looks at Effe with passionate adoration.

Effe smiles at him as silent tears of relief fall down her face.

Junior looks at the judge with sudden expectation.


Is my Daddy going to be freed? He’s no longer going to prison, right?

A very shaken-up judge looks at the boy dazedly.



We’ve indeed committed a great crime against your father, little man! On behalf of this country, and on my own behalf, accept my apologies, Mr. Chris Bawa. You’re a free man.

Cuger’s face looks like death as he steps forward.

Effe is looking as if carved from stone. She cannot move, and she is trembling so fiercely.

Her soul itself seems to be torn from her chest as she looks at Chris with eyes filled with pain and love.

She takes a faltering step towards him, and her face is a complete picture of a shattered soul, of relief, of indescribable love, of life.


(voice choked)


Up in the stands a stunned Afful looks at a totally shattered Steve.


You just lost her, bro.

Chris is looking down at Junior with a face filled with love.



Inspector, arrest Miss Baaba Brooks. Tomorrow we’ll let experts do an evaluation on her.

Cuger moves forward, trying to get to Baaba.

Effe touches Chris’ chest.

And that is when Baaba goes completely berserk!

She screams and rushes forward, shoving Effe back so violently that Effe falls heavily.



Keep away from him! Keep away from Chris, you slut! He is mine! He is all mine! Keep your dirty hands from him!

Cuger grabs Baaba’s hand, trying to handcuff her.

Baaba hits Cuger in the jaw so hard that the policeman begins to fall, and that is when Baaba reaches out and draws out Cuger’s police pistol.

Everything is happening so fast!

Effe is up on her feet, angrily turning towards Baaba.

Baaba draws back the hammer of the gun and swings it towards Effe.

Suddenly Effe finds herself staring at the hole in the barrel of the gun.

Chris screams and moves forward, hitting Baaba with his shoulder so that her gun hand is jerks sideways as she fires, and the bullet strikes a cast iron leg of the judge’s bench, ricochets off and passes cleanly through Junior’s chest!

Baaba is like a lioness. She regains her footing and aims the gun at Effe again.

There are screams everywhere!

People are beginning to stampede towards the door.

Everybody is screaming!

Eyram is screaming, Judge Ossom is screaming!

And Junior slowly sinks to the floor as blood courses down his body.

Effe is frozen, knowing that death is just a second away. She hasn’t noticed that Junior has been hit.

Chris has not noticed either that the first bullet has hit Junior.

Chris sees that his momentum has carried him towards Effe, and that he is too far away from Baaba to disarm her, and he cannot even get enough leverage to twist for a turning kick.

Without thinking, without hesitating, Chris flings himself at Effe as Baaba fires again.

The bullet meant for Effe smashes through Chris’ back, just below his left shoulder blade, and then passes through the left side of his skull.

He smashes into Effe, sending both of them down.

He rolls off Effe painfully, and falls flat on his back, and remains still as blood pours out of his wounds.

Baaba drops the gun, her face filled with horror and fear.

She drops to her knees, her face crumbling as great tears fall down her face.


Oh, Chris! Oh, my love! What have I done? I’m sorry, I’m so sorry!



Effe has cradled Chris in her laps, and her hot tears fall on his still face as his blood pumps all over her, and her heart tears apart, and she is in an anguish she has never ever felt before.

Eyram’s scream makes her look up, and she sees Junior inert on the floor… and Effe screams and screams and screams.



Oh, no! Chris, my love! Oh, no!

Buabasah is looking on, aghast, ashamed and absolutely shattered.


Awurade Nyankopon, basia yi yε anyεn papaapa!!

He steps forward and delivers such a terrible left hook to Baaba’s jaw that Baaba drops to the floor like a sack, losing consciousness immediately.

Effe still screams and screams!

Eyram and Rupert are on their knees. Eyram pushes Effe aside and attends to Chris whilst Rupert attends to Junior.

The members of the jury are all standing, looking on with abject misery.

Perhaps, the worst affected is Judge Annor Ossom.

He stands silently, shuddering under the crushing weight of his guilt.

Indeed, it is a most horrible turn of events!

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JAILBIRD continues