Opana:
Young man, have we met before?
Fred Yeboah:
Yes, we just met this morning and you took everything I had on me.
Opana:
Me? Where and how did I do such a thing to you?
Fred Yeboah:
Mmmm……. Mmmmmmm……. Mmmmmmmmmm…….
Opana:
Sir, is your nephew a stammerer because I can’t make head and tail of his Mmmm……. Mmmm, I don’t have all day at my disposal.
Elderly Man:
Kwame Fred can’t you talk now? Repeat what you came to tell me back in the house so that I know what step to take next.
Opana:
You heard your uncle Mr Man, so kindly tell everyone how and where we met as you informed your uncle.
Fred Yeboah:
Mmmmm, I met this man this morning at the uncompleted building some few metres away from this place.
Opana:
(cuts in quickly)
Are you the owner of that huge edifice?
Fred Yeboah:
No, I am not the owner of the building.
Opana:
I’m equally not a mason neither am I a foreman so what were both of us doing there young man?
Elderly Man:
Kwame Fred answer him and go straight to the point because time is not my friend here.
Fred Yeboah:
Uncle, this man took the money and everything I had on me because he said I was having an affair with his daughter.
Opana:
Did you say I accused you wrongly for having an affair with my daughter? As big as you are and as old and rigid as I am, I took everything you had on you? This sounds like music with the singer forgetting his lyrics.
Fred Yeboah:
Not really as you are saying it.
Opana:
Well let me help everyone here out, old man you see, I caught your nephew trying to force and have sex with my seventeen years old daughter when I was on my way coming to work this morning.
Elderly Man:
Whaaaat? Kwame Fred, is what this man saying true?
Fred Yeboah:
Mmmm uncle that is not really true, I wasn’t forcing to have sex with his daughter as he is saying and besides she told me she is twenty-one years of age.
Opana:
Hehehe, so now this ape is calling me a liar after he tried to rape my underage daughter in an uncompleted building. Didn’t you say you are a fashion designer and you were taking my daughter’s measurement so you sew a dress for her? You are very lucky I didn’t involve the police in this matter. If you people don’t leave this place right this moment I will make my boys deal with you mercilessly. You think you can use your big size to intimidate people huh? You are dealing with Opana the “rough boy” so if you don’t have any business transactions to transact here then I would advise you hit the road right now.
Elderly Man:
Kwame Fred have you seen the embarrassment you have heaped on my head? If you don’t find ways and means to get this money to the house by sunset, I will deal with you in a way that you will never forget in your miserable world. Eno Sakyiwa and Wofa Ani let us go back to the house and leave this fool to settle his issues with the man and I need not remind you that if you don’t return with the money in your possession then I would advise you stay outside the house.
Opana:
May you all have a nice day in your endeavours.
The Elderly Man and his family members left the workshop to their house after an unsuccessful attempt to retrieve the money meant for their wards funeral. Opana on the other hand sits in a corner of his shop and plans how to spend the money he used a dubious way to get, he takes a pen and paper to allocate the funds and expenditure that would take place soon, in no time the customers he was expecting came in and he welcomed them to transact business with them.
Opana:
Ah! at long last you are in after the long wait, welcome to my adorable shop filled with well-crafted masterpiece of coffins.
Customer 1:
Thank you very much Mr…
Opana:
You can call me Opana, yes am the only Opana in and around this town and anyone who you hear using that name is an imposter, pretending to be me.
Customer 2:
I like your great sense of humour Master Opana, please we need a very nice coffin with a nice finishing but with a moderate price.
Opana:
Ah, when you think of a coffin then Opana should be the next thing that comes to your mind, I have done uncountable numbers of coffins for my clients and even some were customised. You see the style and type of wood I use will determine the charge you will receive from me. The one I did for the headmaster in the next town was pen and I used odum, the senior pastor of the Methodist church in this town got a bible design with sapele, that armed robber got a gun design with mahogany and the notorious prostitute of this town also got the design of the thing with wawa.
Customer 2:
Hahahahahaha what do you mean by the thing? If I stay here with you for an hour I believe my ribs will lock with laughter.
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Opana:
Oh really then you need to find time one of these days and pay me a visit here in my shop, I believe you will have an awesome time here. All the same let us do business because time has been far spent.
Customer 1:
Okay I think we would go in for the brown coffin at the far corner of your shop.
Opana:
(thinking fast)
Hmmmm, that one is a special made coffin which is due for collection any time soon, the owners have paid fully for it but have only delayed to come and pick it up.
Customer 2:
Oh so bad so can’t you do anything about it for us because we like the design and the finishing of it. We can give you more than what you charged the people who ordered for it you know.
Opana:
(happy in the head)
You people want to destroy my reputation oh, I have already phoned the people to come for their coffin and I won’t be surprised if the people show up any moment from now and their funeral is this weekend.
Customer 2:
But sir you can make a new one for them before the weekend right?
Opana:
See the wood I used in doing it was specifically imported from Ivory Coast and it will take weeks for it to get here before I can start to work on it. It is an expensive design which will cost you much money so why don’t you go in for another design and if I sell this coffin to you it means that I have breached the agreement I took with those people, it’s the first time am doing business with them and I don’t want to betray them. They travelled from a very long distance to come here and do business with me on high recommendation.
Customer 1:
(cuts in)
So boss if we decide to pay you three times the price they gave you will you reject our offer.
Opana:
(smiling in his head, it seems today is my lucky day and my plan is going on smoothly)
You guys are trying to destroy my reputation oh but giving me 3times the amount I took from the people is not enough to tarnish my image and there are people here who are rumour mongers who will do anything to spread bad news about me even when it’s not true.
Customer 2:
(consulting the person he came with)
What is the amount the people paid you for that coffin because that is the exact coffin I want us to take home today? Name your price!!!
Opana:
(smiles in his head, today be today)
Hmmmm it’s expensive oooo!!!!
Customer 2:
Name your price tag, please.
Opana:
The people gave me three thousand cedis (3000) for it and promised to add more money to it if I give them a great finishing.
Customer 2:
So if we decide to give you ten thousand cedis (10000) for the coffin would you take it or leave?
Opana:
Hmmmmm you guys are trying to put me in the spotlight and that is not fair ooo. I’m not that corrupt oooo, why don’t you choose another coffin here because everything you see here is a masterpiece of my handy work.
Customer 1:
Boss. are you taking the amount we quoted or not?
Opana:
Is the money here now?
Customer 2:
Actually. we didn’t budget for this huge amount but because we love your work we are willing to take the coffin.
Opana:
That is good to hear.
Customer 2:
Sir, we have half of the amount here and if you don’t mind, we will issue a cheque for you to cash at the bank.
Opana:
My brother I mind paaaaa, I stopped taking cheques about 4years ago when some innocent-looking people came to deceive me and gave me a bounced cheque, they took one of my best coffins I have ever made, so from that moment I advised myself. Please it’s either you pay cash or you go back without the coffin.
Customer 1:
Oh so bad and unfortunate for you but sir we are genuine people from a respectable background and we don’t intend to dupe or deceive you.
Opana:
Director you see a fool is considered wise after changing his walking that made him fall and once beaten, twice shy. I have decided to sell the coffin to you so you can go and withdraw the money yourself and come back with it.
Meanwhile, there is a meeting going on somewhere and the details of the meeting is deadly.
Tbc
