The Coffin Maker Episode 7

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Customer 2:

We will be back tomorrow God willing with the full amount and please kindly keep to your promise by keeping the coffin safe for us.

Opana:

Don’t worry you will come and meet it safe and well packaged for you to take home.

Customer 1:

Thanks very much, the person who recommended you to us didn’t exaggerate about your work. We shall be back by noon tomorrow.

Opana:

Thanks for your compliment and I will be looking forward to meeting you tomorrow with the full amount. Have a nice day and tell your friends and family about my great works.

Customer 1:

We will always recommend you to people to boost your clients’ level.

(The customers took leave from the coffin shop)

Opana:

This calls for celebration ooo, herh, too much knowledge won’t everq depart from my small head ooo. This coffin actually belongs to no one and has been occupying space in my shop in here for over eleven months now, the rejected stone has today become the cornerstone. Opanyin Kwasi Asomani refused to take that same coffin even when I reduced it to him to the lowest price I have ever sold any of my coffins and later went to buy from Efo. I think I should call it a day here in the shop and go and get myself some fresh palm wine drinks from Kofi Adu’s joint, where are these foolish boys? Who is there?

Apprentice 3: :

It’s me, sir, please do you want me to do anything for you?

Opana:

Yes go and help your seniors to bring down the coffin they are carrying on their heads and come back with them over here.

Apprentice 3: :

(rushes and comes back with his seniors who are sweating badly)

Sir, please here we are.

Opana:

Hahaha see how you fools are sweating like you just escaped from jail on foot, I’m leaving the shop to see some chainsaw operators to strike some important deals with them on some woods I want them to supply to this shop. Now you take this money to my wife and tell her to prepare “Konkonte” with bush meat and “Katekonto” soup (groundnut mixed with cocoyam leaves), come back early to finish with the sandpaper work you are doing on that coffin. (Hands over 100 cedis to his apprentice)

Apprentice 3:

Okay sir but please should I board a car to your house?

Opana:

No board a train, make sure you deliver the money intact to my wife personally and return here immediately. Also, make sure you don’t engage any of my daughters in any conversation, I’m spitting on the ground and if you return and the saliva is dried up I will send you back to your parents, now get out of my sight.

Apprentice 3:

Okay, sir, I will be back in a jiffy. (runs out of the shop to deliver the money)

Opana:

Now you two I’m mandating you as seniors here in this shop to take very good care of this place, I have set spies here and if I’m given any negative complaints upon my return then you guys will have yourselves to blame because I won’t hesitate to sack you from my shop. All the same, I will find time to deal with the pregnancy issues but I’m making you a sincere promise that I won’t follow your family to any lady’s house to beg on your behalf and from today the little upkeep money I give to you, I will stop doing so and gather it for the ladies so that next time you will learn how to use that stick in between your legs wisely. Anyone who comes looking for me should be given my contact number to call me and if I am not back till you close, see to it that the shop is well locked and the keys kept safely. Do I make myself clear?

All Apprentices:

Yes sir

(Opana leaves his shop and places a call to someone then gives some directives and after that gives a devilish smile)

Meanwhile, in a bush behind the town cemetery, some young guys from the town had converged to plan on how to deal with someone.

Fred Yeboah:

Guys I called you here this morning to ask for your assistance, I want you to deal with someone on my behalf and if possible I want you to eliminate him for the gross embarrassment I received from that person.

Skido:

(in a hoarse voice due to excessive smoking and drinking) My guy who do you want us to eliminate from this world for you. You know killing is our hobby and that is what we do for a living.

Fred Yeboah:

Erm I believe you know that canning old man who sells coffins down the road.

Ras Nene:

Yeah I know him so why do you want us to eliminate him and how much will you pay us when we take his life away from him?

Fred Yeboah:

Mmmm you see that man belittled me and made me look like a fool in the presence of my family who respected me very much.

Skido:

Ah then he deserves to die an ugly death without any mercy or favour. When do you want this exercise to take place and how much would you pay us?

Fred Yeboah:

I want it done today and I will pay you handsomely after you eliminate him and come along with a white envelope you see on him. He usually uses this route on Mondays and since today is Monday he will pass here to the palm wine joint behind the market, you can ambush him before he gets to his intended destination and please make sure you do it today without anyone seeing you because if you are caught I will bluntly deny ever knowing you or having a deal with you.

Atongo:

Ah. you this guy paa ebi you wey go teach us how we go do wanna work? You know how many people we give visa go ancestral world? Make sure the money you go take give we be intact because if you try any funny move after we do this work finish I personally go chop your body small small take give you make you chop.

Fred Yeboah:

Do your job and leave the rest to me, please no long stories and make sure the job is done today and in a very professional way.

Skido:

Would you come here if we were not good with the job? Just keep to your side of the deal and everyone will be okay. Now let’s get going everyone, we have a mission to accomplish.

Fred Yeboah:

We will meet here in the next 3 or 4 hours to do sharing of the money. Good luck.

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*****

Opana smiles to himself as he reflects on the money that came his way today and the one yet to come his way. He branches into a drinking bar and orders for six tots of a locally made drink which he calls “bie gya bitters” and hits the road again, he throws some of the chewing gum he seized into his mouth and whistles to himself the song of Kwabena Kwabena’s – Adult music.

About fifteen minutes of walking, he gets to a lonely house and before entering, he surveys around the place to ensure no familiar face is following him or is around. He enters the house and knocks on a door which opens immediately.

Kuukua Nhyiraba:

(with a frowned face)

So, why the delay Mr Lover boy? I thought you won’t come again and was planning to drop your food in the fridge. I took my time to prepare your favourite meal, plantain and garden egg stew with Koobi and eggs, even though you have refused to give me the money I want to start a business with.

Opana:

Woman you talk too much, your man is in so first give me a warm welcome, serve my afternoon meal then possibly after you can start nagging. I am starving already and you are here talking, can’t you see how I’m sweating already.

Kuukua Nhyiraba:

I’m sorry please, let me serve your meal and afterwards take a little shower but mind you, no dessert after your meal because I am on a sex strike until further notice.

(she serves Opana his food and right in front of him she undresses herself to the full glare of Opana to arouse his sexual feelings)

Opana:

(taking food to his mouth and his eyes come in contact with the naked personality in front of him, he swallows the plantain without chewing it) Kuukua thou shall not tempt the man you love. Never hinder his sexual satisfaction for that will make him look elsewhere.

Kuukua Nhyiraba:

As if I care, your eyes will see is Canaan but your legs will never touch that place, my dear. I am on a sex strike.

(Walks out to shower)

Opana:

(speaks to himself)

So, why are women so wicked? Does it mean if my mouth promises to give you money and it’s not ready the young man between my legs should also be deprived of his food? Poor men are really suffering, let me quickly finish my food because I have a world cup qualifying series to play.

(Kuukua walks back in looking very fresh and smelling so sweet)

Kuukua Nhyiraba:

I can see you are done, let me dress up and go and see you off.

Opana:

That won’t be a problem madam, you don’t have to stress yourself since you just took your shower. I know my way out but before I leave I want you to know that I love you and if my wife dies any moment from now it’s you I will marry but you like too much money. I don’t know what is wrong with you this Fanti lady in my life, never use sex as a bait for me because I can get it from a lot of places.

Kuukua Nhyiraba:

(feeling jealous)

Then go and have it from there and leave me alone. Are they able to give it to you the way I give it to you?

Opana:

(deeps his hand into his pocket and brings money out)

You see I like you for 3 things, first you are hard-working, second beautiful and a good cook and lastly you are not just sexy but very good in bed. You asked for five hundred cedis (500 cedis) to start a new business, here I’m giving you one thousand cedis (1000 cedis) to let you know that justice delayed is not justice denied, the money I was expecting wasn’t ready and that was the reason why it delayed, I will see you later.

Kuukua Nhyiraba:

(feeling a bit ashamed of herself) Baby not so fast, I have a new style reserved for you in bed but was just testing your patience if you were going to use force to demand sex from me. You know I love you and how you pamper me especially on that bed, I miss you and can’t wait for you to enter me.

Opana:

(pretends like he’s not interested)

Not today please, my libido has been cut off with what you said earlier on.

Kuukua Nhyiraba:

(drops the cloth on her)

Not even when I expose my naked body to you? Can you reject these things your eyes are seeing on my body?

Opana swiftly pounces on Kuukua and they found themselves on the bed but another request comes from Kuukua