The Brat and The She Devil-Episode 12


There was a couple making a scene below, I stand up to look at what was causing the ruckus.. from the shouting and finger pointing it so happens that the wife had walked into Cubana and found her husband with a chick he claimed to not have anything with.
“You slut, you home wrecker, ashawooooo!!’’ she claps her hands together close to the girl’s face. She came prepared, canvas, singlet and shorts and her hair in a bun. Yes, in fights it was advised that your hair wasn’t all over the place, your opponent can use it to bring you done.
Women fights always ended up with hair pulling and cats claws or rather nails fighting. Never pretty!
“I am not an Ashawo, and besides, you should be crying, your husband is tired of your cheap lazy ass he came out to look for some young blood to help his boy feel alife” the girl spat in her face
“Oh damn!!’’ I say “That gatto hurt” I bend over the rail, trying to get a good look..
The man was standing between them…but he seemed to be querying his wife for following him
“why didn’t you call, why are you embarrassing me eh? You stalk me now eh, is that what our marriage is based on, I can’t believe you” he says throwing his hands above his head exasperated
The Nerve of him!!! I frown

“Girl slap his mouth shut, he should be on his knees begging not picking a line off the asshole book…’’like I wouldn’t be caught cheating if you didn’t follow me’’ was he high?” I mutter to myself
This causes the wife to flare up “You are mad you hear, Mad!!! You bring your chick to a club and spend money you keep saying you don’t have, when our kids are in their beds you are screwing a prostitute and treating her nice. When last did you treat me to nice things or bought me anything new or told me I look nice? Yet you were here with your tongue down her throat and your hands inside her thighs like a shameless man that you are..shameless heartless man who has no regard for family..Tufiakwa!!’’ she spat on his face, while he is trying to clean his eyes from her spittle, she reaches for the girl behind him who kept shouting and slaps her hard, the second and third comes in quick successions, soon the shouting increases, the husband is pulling his girlfriend away, the body guards of the place came to the rescue taking the party outside..
I shake my head “Sad, just sad. That what happens when a man don’t respect his woman. “ I shake my head again.
I am still leaning, bent on the rail when I hear light footsteps behind me, I didn’t look. Must be the waitress who served me coming to get the bill or people going higher up the building or coming down.
But then I felt the presence standing behind me, then I heard the voice, asking me why a pretty lady like myself was doing here alone and if he could join me.
Okay!! Definitely not the waitress, and the waitress was a woman, this was a dude.
And worst pickup line ever.
Two…if I was alone I wanted to be alone. Durh!!
Three.. I wasn’t looking for a pickup much less wanting for a company.
And four… why did he sound familiar?
“…….i am sure I’ll be a good company” he finished saying.
Well, I would just put him down nice and easy and tell him to get a better line next time for any girl who would be interested, it would take more than a cheesy tap off the shelve to get me to have a sit down with a total stranger.

I put on my best smile, just so I don’t come off as a snub and then I slowly turn..
My smile freezes and so did the words get stuck in my mouth as I swallow it down.
It was the fool. No scratch that, the obnoxious, rotten, arrogant, good for nothing annoying….erm erm..a stupid excuse of a man He-goat. It was the He-goat, my God who dragged him in. why does bad things happen to good people??
My evening just went from great to disgustingly bad.
“You?” he says
“You?” I repeat
My moods automatically becomes sour, my evening ruined and my anger that I felt I left in the office resurfaces.. I frown
“What the hell are you doing here..PA?” I grit my teeth

It takes a minute for him to recollect his composure, he is shaking his head, rubbing his lips with his hand, those gestures that insinuates he just made the biggest mistake of the night..
“Dear Lord, not you witch…not you! this is wrong, so wrong, hot body, nice package..great dress and all for this witch, Lord why are you so unfair” he mutters looking to the heavens and then back at me “a few minutes of my life I can’t take back’’ he is cleaning his eyes and shaking his heads
“Excuse you, who are you calling a witch? How Dare you Brian, how dare you!!!’’
“Erm..there is no one else but you and I, and what am I doing here? Isn’t it obvious? I am sure even a three year old can answer that question which would be …having fun. And how dare me? How dare you?’’ he points to me
“Yes, I mean, you had to come to my favorite place where I ..well that is none of your business but you are here, you made me let go of some good game are the devil. God knew why he says humans are deceptive but women..women are the worst but you are another kind of Eve, deceptive, if I didn’t meet you earlier today I would be deceived by your good looks but no , I mean I came rushing down to introduce myself to that ass..i mean that person who owns that and I see you and I suddenly have a sour taste in my mouth. What the hell ..erm..whats’s your name again. Aha!! Adorat?”he snaps his fingers together
I was holding my glass of wine, I walk towards him “ I know what’s going on here, Mr Emeka told me, now see where your arrogance spews from”
“He told you? Fantastic..i hope you now realize why.. whoa wait, what did he tell you?”
“How pitiful you are and why you can’t be fired because they feel you are indispensible to the company but that’s just pure bullshit!. Look Brian, I don’t know what weed you are smoking but if you think you can ride over everyone else, you can’t do that with me because I will run you to the ground..hard”
“hmmm Hard you say? That’s my favorite word.. where would you like it, between your legs or in your mouth?’’ he states with a sly smile pointing to both places
I raise my free hand to slap him across his face but he catches it midair,
“Let go off my hands you bastard” I burn, trying to pull my hand away but he holds on tight
“You like to hit don’t you, is that how you get your high Miss Ado-rat!!’’
‘You are a disgusting animal, a pervert..a .. a-”

“A guy who doesn’t give a shit nor feel threatened by your basket threats lady. Nor a guy who would stand by and have a girl hit him, are you high? Look, I came here to have a good time and see how you spoilt my night..and if you think I would let you enjoy yours you are absolutely clueless and you need to go back to crèche and the next time you raise your hand towards me you wouldn’t like the outcome’’ he lets go of my hand
“You must be mad!! I am your boss” I drop the glass to the table hard, some contents spills to my hands as I rob my wrists
“Wrong! you are the company’s boss, not my boss…and right now isn’t even working hours so keep your tittles and whatnot away from me. “
“You think you are untouchable right?”
“Oh I know I am, not because of anything but because I am awesome”
“And to think Mr Emeka believes a good talking to you will improve your incapabilities to your future and maybe put you in the right paths to common sense but …like I told him you are a dog Brian, and I don’t like dogs especially ones who claims to be better than his master”
“I am better than you..” he says, he steps back leaning on the rail.. crossing his legs and arm standing.
“You will regret this, you will. Every insult that has spewed from your mouth, every disrespect to my position, every-“
He yawns loudly cutting me off, placing his hands to his mouth continuously and blowing air to make loud noises.
“You are despicable!!!’’ I spat
“No Adora dear, hot, good looking, awesome. Yes!! Despicable ? No!! but witchy..You. night ruin-er? Even if there is no word like that is still You!! Deceptive body? You!! Game chaser? You!!! everything wrong with this world? You! you see where I am going with this?” he smiles
I shake my head, this was not happening.
“My name is Adora Chime and I promise you Brian..this is far from over” I say picking my bag “ I’ll give you an advise, don’t show up at work..don’t even bother assuming the positions of a PA, just do you…stay the hell away from my face because I will make sure all this you have done come back to you a thousand folds…and I don’t give idle threats”
“My name is Ado-rat Chimneys and I breast-you Brian..” He places his hands to his chest, his expression feigning surprise and glee “oh why? thank you Adora but I am sure your breast is a result of pumped air and the milk within is sour and I don’t do spiteful hot tempered women, they put a dent to my good looks, so no thank you..i will show up at the office, tomorrow, the day after tomorrow and then the next and the next and for good measure I will even come to your office, spread my legs on the table and fart on your face or maybe into your tea and you know the most amazing thing that would happen? You will vent, and shout and maybe report me to that pigged face Emeka and you know another cool thing…you , nor him can do shit …why? Because” he pauses thinking , because I am …Brian Andrews, son of the owner of the company who pays your salary and salaries of a few hundreds of people or maybe a thousand and we have companies scattered across the country and abroad and we are so rich I could do nothing and yet never lack in my entire life and maybe till my children’s children , but instead he says with a sly smile on his face
….“because I am Brian Andrews and I am awesome…good at what I do and no one wants to lose a good employee over some stupid tantrum of a lousy slow dump Social Media Manager who is so bitter you would think she had been starved from sex for like forever…I wonder…is it congealed now? I mean you…honeycomb?”
I shake my head “ Be careful Brian, you are going to fall flat on your ass and I will be standing over you with a wide smile on my face”
“blab la blabardash. Look…I have better things to do right now than stand around and talk to you…BOSS!! BO-ring Silly erm….witch”
“You missed the other S dumb dumb!!’’
“Oh, you don’t deserve the complete S! see you around witch, or not. !!” he says laughing and walking away, I watch him going downstairs and slipping into the ground of people. I watch from where I hands is griping the rail as I hold on to it, I wanted to fling something..anything at him..
“Damn You Brian !!! Damn You!! that thing you think is making you feel you can talk to me the way you do..i will take it from under you and make you grovel at my feet, my name won’t be Adora Chime if I don’t make you beg on your knees for me…I promise you”
I stand there watching him.. he was laughing with a pretty dark girl whispering into her ears and making her throw her head in loud laughter.

“ Be careful Brian, you are going to fall flat on your ass and I will be standing over you with a wide smile on my face”
“blab la blabardash. Look…I have better things to do right now than stand around and talk to you…BOSS!! BO-ring Silly erm….witch”
“You missed the other S dumb dumb!!’’
“Oh, you don’t deserve the complete S! see you around witch, or not. !!” he says laughing and walking away, I watch him going downstairs and slipping into the ground of people. I watch from where I hands is griping the rail as I hold on to it, I wanted to fling something..anything at him..
“Damn You Brian !!! Damn You!! that thing you think is making you feel you can talk to me the way you do..i will take it from under you and make you grovel at my feet, my name won’t be Adora Chime if I don’t make you beg on your knees for me…I promise you”
I stand there watching him.. he was laughing with a pretty dark girl whispering into her ears and making her throw her head in loud laughter.

I grab my wine to drink to douse my anger.. I drown the glass. I pour the remaining contents into the glass and take it to my lips, thinking of what to do to wipe the smile out of his face…
Then a thought occurs to me, smiling I grab my bag, just then the waitress comes to me asking for my bill…, then she adds
“I am so sorry but , please I saw you talking to Mr Andrews, are you a friend of his?”
I look at her, she was pretty. Too pretty to be working nights in a place like this..
“ depends why?”
“Well he is so hot and …I wonder if you could hook me up with him, he smiles a lot at me and all that but I am so shy, what kind of girls do you think he likes?”
“Oh..old, wrinkle. He is a 50s guy, plus he has herpes you know? Nasty disease. Plus his mouth has this sour odour you don’t want to go to bed without flossing atleast three times if you ever did kiss him, but even the smell would purge you for days. And erm….he is gay too”
She gasps!!! “Oh my God are you serious?”
“Yes, I know him since erm..forever dear. You don’t want to hang around someone like him…and because I care about him I don’t want him to lead young girls along but I know he can never get it up unless you have sagging breasts with too many bush in that area and erm, or have a porn video up of old women dancing naked ” I move closer to her “ the gay part of him, he is the girl in the relationship…he has a leaking behind because too many hard stuffs has gone in there, have you noticed he has a big butt?” I nod, she looks down searching for him “ very true girlfriend , I wouldn’t lie. He wears butt pad and pampers to keep the leaking from getting to his cloths you see”
The expression on her face had turned from desire to disgust , she squeezes it trying to picture his asshole leaking pop or liquid “ Oh no no, dear Lord!!”
“You don’t want to be stuck in a relationship with him, pass the info around if you will, he seems to be popular around right?” I continue

“Yes he has been coming here for a week now and the ladies all love him’’
“Well, how sad would they be to find out that he is all that I sad’’ I sip from my glass watching her to see how far of the bone I three she had eaten.
The girl turns to look into the crowd again “Very sad, and to think I had a thing for him”
Yep, she ate it all .
Work done!!
“Oh well, don’t say I didn’t warn you though’’ I say moving away
“Madame , your bill?”
Oh silly me I forgot!
“Oh put it on his tab, he told me to tell you that, trying to bribe me you know so I don’t spoil his game tonight, we were sort of fighting you know, but it’s okay. Just put it on his tap and erm..ssshhhh don’t tell him I told you anything “ I tell her placing my index finger to my lips tapping it
“Okay ma’am, Thank you, you just saved me from making the worst mistake in my life”
“You are welcome, that’s what ladies do right? we take care of each other” I smile touching her cheeks, turning away i walk down the stairs, my eyes fishing for him.
I spot him, talking to a dozen ladies getting the center of the attention , he backs me.. they are smiling and laughing and he is gestulating .
I walk up to him an tap him on his shoulders,
He pauses, then he turns to face me, I am smiling at him with the glass of wine in my hand and an audience because I screamed the He-goat high enough to have the girls he was talking to look to see who dares to distract their man..
Ha!!! Oh, they should wait, it’s coming ..
“Next time I catch you screwing my boyfriend , I will cut off your manhood you faggot!!! You hear, the next time I walk into my room and see you licking his balls and riding his joystick..i will cut of yours you homosexual. You faggot!!!!!”
Oh you weren’t expecting that where you?
“What the f-“ he trails of
Was that from him or from the ladies?
“Are you mad Adora!!?’ he says as his eyes grows dark
“Oh no !! but one more thing..” I walk closer then I splash the wine on his face soiling his white shirt… ”That’s for you chasing after my grandmother too, you Perv, men like you should be put in the Psychic ward because even our dogs won’t be safe from you. Disgusting, your parents would be ashamed!!’’ I give the empty glass to a waiting waiter, I dust my hands , taking a closer step towards him as he stands there in shock looking at me to his shirt..then back at me, his anger visible as he folds his hands into a fist
“How is that for an He-goat? You want a fight? Bring it on asshole, but let’s see how you can take a dent to cleaning up your messed up image for this pretty ladies. You are nothing but my common errand boy Brian, a common don’t mess with me’’ I laugh then I walk away
“Brian, is what she is saying the truth? Are you gay?..and you like older women, that is disgusting!“ the ladies begins to speak their displeasure, some men shake their head,
“Faggot!!! We no want Homo here oh!!’’
“Fine boy like that, na your yansh you dey use? Chia!! Dude leave here before we clear you!’’ some dude says
“Fxxk!!!’’ Brian mutters , taking out his hanky and wiping his face and his shirt…”No, no that is ridiculous, she is just some crazy cheek who-, you can’t possibly believe that?” he points to my faded back
“Oh it’s the truth, he is all that she says, how disgusting “ the waitress who had been talking with me says coming down..
Now the ladies where shaking their head, staring at him, some turning up their noses..
“I am not gay Damnit, nor am I into older women it doesn’t make any sense…you…you can’t believe that”
“We can..and to think I was going to follow you tonight” one of the girls says
“We can still go and I will prove to you that I am not gay”Brian walks to her, but she steps back
“To use that joystick you stick into another man’s hole? You must be out of your mind”she spat
“And he is a lair too, he told me that lady that just walked out of here was his wife, who knew that he was screwing her boyfriend and peeking in on her grandmother!!!’’ the last girl he was talking with before he sighted Adora comes forward shaking her head.. “Men, despicable lairs!!’’ she spat
“Come on ladies….i am not gay! that woman lies, she is my boss, I mean..i am her PA, no I mean I am supposed to be her PA and she is angry that I refuse to do my duties and-“
“Oh you were screwing your Boss’s Man and grandmother…oh dear lord” another girl exclaims
“A PA, a common office errand boy? Abasi!!’’ she claps her hands , “Na you dey come here they form big boy saying you fit by a whole city if you want, God punish you!!’’ she gives him five of her fingers placing it flat on his face
Brian staggers back, as she pushes him with it
Now everyone is talking, Brian can’t get them to listen to him, he was angry…
“Okay that’s enough if you don’t want to believe me, to hell with you all, you all aren’t my type anyways “ he says turning and leaving “You all are nothing, I can get whoever I want and when I want, You are sluts anyways, me trying to tell you the truth but you listen to that witch, that witch. Gay? Why don’t you follow me let me show you how Gay I am…me older women? Dear lord!!’’ he throws over his shoulders
“You dey craze!!’’ they spat
“You won give me Aids?” another said

“Gay kill you there” A man throws at him
Brian flips him the third finger and continuous to walk out
“hey hey oga ,biko pay your money” she grabs his shirt
“I don’t owe you anything” he tells the waitress, “I have already paid for my drinks, let go off me”
“That woman says you asked her to tell me to put her food on your tab”

Brian’s eyes goes wide “Are you mad, was I here when she was ordering? Was I, did I tell you anything? look don’t get me angry lady”
“Sir, if you don’t pay I will call security”
“Call your damn security!!’’ he says walking away, the girl holds on to him preventing him from moving
“Oga , oga pay your money, all this fine boy with no money in his pocket, pay your money joy..liar, gay man, pervert, broke ass nigga” the waitress says
“Pay your money jaw!! Na so so toasting him sabi, all these lagos boys na so them be, big mouth empty pockets, and when you see am na so him they walker him leg no dey finish reach ground, be doing those Americana english for us, if you check now na dstv him learn all those to pay money him no want, but him junior dey ever ready to put inside man dey craze,pay your money Brian..” another lady steps forward and claps in his face
“I won’t pay nothing I didn’t order, go and look for that witch to pay you”he tries to remove her hand but she wouldn’t let go “Leave me woman!!!”
“Security oh, security oh!! “ she wails strugging with Brian
“What kind of embarrassment is this, let go off me…Ikena!!’’ he looks around then back at her “Look I am not owing you, let me go”
Now the place is disrupted by their noise, the ladies clapping for Brian and insulting him, the men saying they were going to beat him up for choosing to like men and old ladies.
The securities come from no way, holding him by his hand and then his shirt, the ladies are clapping for him and calling him out on his bullshit,
“Common pay na before we reduce you to cripple,” One of the heavy securities challenges him when they were told he refused to settle his bills “Come on pay!!”
“Let go off me, do you know who I am, do you know who I am? I will close down this place, I will have your jobs and I will make you sleep in a cell, do you know who I am, I am the son of Andrews-“
“Andrews lever salt? Me I be the son of closeup. If I nod you eh, you go bring that wallet out and pay your money now…make I clear you?” the other raises him up by his trousers
“Let me go…I will deal with you. !!”’ Brian says struggling to let go
“come be-lik say you no sabi say na Ph you dey oh, we go treat your fxxkup here and now, drag this fool for nicca make we show am why you don’t order without paying “ they begin to drag him outside
“Let me go!!! I will deal with you, do you know who I am ? Do you have any idea who I am, I will finish you”

Brian shouts ‘’I will finish you all”
Ikena watches the scene unfolding from the corner , he didn’t move.

He laughs into his glass of beer when he saw Adora, the new Social Media manager call him out then spills her drink on him. It was a perfect moment for Brian, needed to be humiliated. And by a woman, was like icing on the cake.
The boy was too arrogant and spoilt. A little hot tempered woman going bumper to bumper with him was good.
Ikena laughs when she trots away in that pretty yellow dress of hers and then how the other girls continued from where she stopped. he laughs when Brian tries to defend himself, he wished he could have videoed everything and send it to Brian’s father, he would have laughed his heart out.
Ikena didn’t get up when the securities came dragging him and asking him to pay, it was a sorry sight to see Brian shouting “Do you know who I am, do you know who I am?” repeatedly
No one cares Brian, no one.
Then he hears Brian shout his name..