“No Javier. Stop it, it isn’t like that! ” She laughs and I chuckle as I brush her hair against my palm once again after failing miserably in getting to braid her hair. She chuckles as she lays her head on my lap and I rest my back against the headboard.
Ever since that day. We have gotten maybe a little more closer and she has let me in a little more closer. Right now, I can’t seem to stay away from her and I don’t intend on doing that either.
“What’s the thing that you fear most in life? ”
She suddenly says out of nowhere and I lower my head to look at her before chuckling, shaking my head.
“Well, that was a surprise case I didn’t expected you to ask that but let’s see, shall we? What is it really that I fear most? ” She chuckles and her laugh makes me laugh also before we fall into silence and I try to think hard about the question that she had just asked me. What is it really that I fear most?
“What I fear most is death. I don’t wanna die. ”
I mutter incoherently and she chuckles once again, raising her head from my lap to look at me as if she hadn’t expected me to say that but it’s true anyways. Death is something that I fear.
“Out of everything that I thought you were gonna say, that defintely wasn’t one of them. ”
She chuckles and I bend my head a little, planting a soft kiss on her forehead.
“I’m really full of surprises, aren’t I? ” And there’s silence once again.
“Death took my family away from me at such a young age, I could have barely survived it and even when I did, I’m still afraid of death. There has been a time when I wanted it to take me too but right now, I don’t. Right now, I don’t ever want to die. Not like never ever but just not… Right now. ”
“I’m so sorry. I didn’t know that happened. What happened to them? ”
“It’s what, you don’t have to apologize for something that isn’t your fault and they died. A road accident actually, I was lucky to have survived it. ” I chuckle sadly and she placed her hand against mine before threading our fingers between each other.
“I don’t wanna talk about that any longer anyway so tell me, what do you fear most in life? ” I turn my head so I can have a clearer view of her face and she looks away from me as if she’s thinking hard on something.
“For you death is something that you fear most and it us true because it should be something we should all fear. I do fear death also but there’s something I fear more than death. ” She stops and turn her head to look at me while my finger brushes against her hair.
“What I fear most in life is been controlled. I… I have been always controlled all my life that I feared it so much. My choices aren’t my choices. I didn’t get to do whatever I want whenever I want it, I didn’t get to make my own choices myself. I didn’t get to know how it feels to be in a difficult situation and having to make a difficult choice, I didn’t get to know all that cause I have always been controlled and I feel like all my life that I have been caged. Like I have been trapped in with no way of escaping and my fear is that will always be the way. ”
She finishes and I smile before planting a soft kiss once again against her forehead.
“I promise you. I will give you choices to make. I will trap you in a difficult situation that you would have to make the biggest choice of your life. I would change that opinion about been controlled and you will be lost but it’s all about making choices, isn’t it? I will give you something to make a choice on and you will feel everything you haven’t been able to. “