I wasn’t going to say that really but it felt as if the words just left my lips without even planning for them though everything I had said is the truth. No lies.
I have tried. I have really tried to stay away from her because I’m nothing good for her. This I know about. I know that the only thing I would do to her is to hurt her which she doesn’t deserve one bit.
She deserves something more. Someone that isn’t f**ked up like I am. Someone that would take really very good care of her. Someone that wouldn’t leave her just to figure out how he’s feeling towards her. That’s someone she deserves. Not someone that would leave her every damn second he’s got.
I’m not good for her. I have realize this and yet, I just can’t help but to be this close to her.
I can’t help it. I just want to be with her every single damn time even when I know that I would do nothing but cause her pains which she doesn’t deserve one bit. But I’m selfish enough to want to stay.
I can see the clear surprise written across her face as I had said those words. She didn’t expect it and neither do I.
”I really do mean that. I wasn’t staying away from you because I wanted to, I had to figure things out. My feelings for you. ” I press on and she opens her mouth to say something but she’s saying nothing.
“I… I know it’s f****ng insane now that I came out of nowhere saying all these but this is the truth. This is how I truly feel. You do something to me Arielle. Something that I haven’t until now ever felt with anyone and now there’s you and I’m feeling these things. I’m afraid that am gonna hurt you. That I would ruin you the way that I’m best known to ruin things and I don’t want that for you. That’s why I had to stay away.” I mutter and she stares at me not saying a single word as if she doesn’t believe me.
I know she has no reason to but that’s the damn truth and I don’t want to believe it either. She shouldn’t, cause believing would do nothing but bring pain to her. To the both of us.
”And that girl that you brought along with you? ” She raises her eyebrows at me and I cock my brows, not understanding what she’s trying to talk about and wondering who the hell she’s taking about until I realize that I had truly come in with a girl.
She’s talking about Sam. She must be really crazy if she thinks I’m f****ng Sam. I couldn’t help but to just laugh at the idea. Me and Sam! f**k!
“No, no you’re getting it all wrong from here. ”
I couldn’t help but to laugh even more and she furrows her eyebrows at me.
“I’m so sorry. It’s just so funny that you would think that I’m doing something with Sam. Sam is just my friend, actually has been my very old friend for a very long time now. She’s my oldest friend and she is leaving town, we just met to have fun before she leaves for her place tomorrow. ” I explain and I watch her features soften.
“That doesn’t still explain the fact that you just left me. ” I chuckle before nodding.
“I know baby. I know. ” I brush my nose gently against hers and she’s laughing immediately.
She was angry minutes ago and now she’s smiling at me. This girl wouldn’t be the death of me.