Diary Of A Broke Playboy Episode 41

I never actually believed shape would hover over me all those while and never crash on my bed, it was impossible but I also didn’t know she was going to serve it to me on a platter of diamonds. Good things they say come to those who are patient for them and shape was one hell of a bloody good thing and I was one patient dog.
“What if Naza finds out?” she had asked me as we watched a movie in my room, waiting for the appropriate time to hit the bed.

“Find out about what?” I asked.

“About us,” she replied, eyeing me with a smile on her face.
“She won’t find out,” I said and fixed my attention on the movie. Someone I really like was about to be killed.

“What if I tell her?” She asked.

“She will poison you and then make me apologize for cheating on her. Then life goes on,” I said. She laughed and I paused the movie to turn to her.
“Shape, I am serious, Naza will poison you if she finds out.”

“I will tell her. I want her to feel the same way I am feeling,” she said.

“Shape, how old are you?” I asked her all of a sudden.

“19, why do you ask?”

“I should have asked you that at first,” I said and continued with the film.

“Why?” she kept asking.

“Because I would have known you are liable to do things like a small girl,” I said.
“I am not a small girl abeg,” she said with a frown.

“Having a 25 year old body doesn’t make you 25, it only makes you 6 years hotter than you should be.”

She laughed. She probably thought I was joking about the poison stuff.

Minutes turned into hours and hours into days and Shape’s revenge turned into a full blown sex affair. I was almost running from her, have never seen any insatiable girl like her. No wonder Willie liked her. Now she was at the brink of forgetting her Willie baby, I was now her proper daddy yo. She was also at the brink of catching feelings and I didn’t like it. It was either “Neche Imagine two of us married, we would be the best couple in town” or “Neche imagine what my baby with you would look like, she would be so lovely”. That was all she talked about and I always let her know that the joke had turned senior whenever she mentioned that baby bullshit. Of course I had my condoms handy only that with girls like shape, you can never tell.

So it was a chilly day and a weather for a naked two. It was 9pm and we were cuddling on the bed, popping our pimples and getting wet. Shape had a smooth skin despite her heavy endowments. The stretch marks just weren’t there. I hand my left hand up her asshole and she was moaning the hell out of herself, trying to break my dick like they had a dispute. She had the smoothest lips I had ever tasted, of course second to only my Naza. You can call me biased, it’s your business. We kissed and exchanged tongues for chewing and licking. She was stark naked and so was I. She always insisted if she was going totally naked, then the guy would do likewise.

I always had this joy of spreading a very thick leg and flying myself in between them. I doubted if I was ever going to let shape go in a very long time. I parted her beautiful laps and she pulled me in, inserting my tool herself, Rubbing the open tip nearly driving me off the cliff of madness. I fell on her like a three course meal and devoured her, a trillion thrust in a second. She kept singing my name and I kept asking for more vocals. She flipped me around and mounted me like a proper cowgirl. I held her juggs as she bounced on me, her face to the ceiling, calling on the lord to save her from drowning in that pool of pleasure. Then I felt the cum coming out of me and in that moment of irredeemable ecstasy, shapes mouth wide open in deep moans and my teeth digging into my lips with intense pleasure, I saw my door open and Naza walked in, even then I couldn’t push shape off. I was bloody cumming and it’s one of those things in life that you can hardly pause.
She slapped me and I let out a moan. More followed and I turned around and through the blurry film in my eyes I saw a guy leaning towards me. I was dreaming but it wasn’t far from reality of what shape would do to me in real life.

“What?” I asked, wiping my eyes with my hand and wondering if I had been moaning and asking for more in my sleep.
“Was I talking in my sleep?” I asked the strange guy.

“No, but you were snoring,” he said in a hoarse voice. I knew he was lying because I don’t snore, that was even one of the reasons Naza loved me.

“Give me that phone,” the guy said, more like commanded.
“Who do you want to call?” I asked, still rubbing my eyes.

“I want to call my mother. Mumu guy, get up!!” he thundered and I jerked only seeing the shinning gun in his hand for the first time. I stood up from my bed and there was shape on the floor her face down and shivering.

“Is this Tecno?” the guy asked and I shook my head, joining shape on the floor.

“Infinix,” I murmured.

“So you no even get iPhone,” he asked me again. I shook my head.

“Is he a thief?” I asked shape in whisper. She shook her head.

“No, he is my boyfriend.”

Even the guy laughed. I didn’t laugh shaa neither did shape. Only the guy laughed.

“So as you big like this, you no get iPhone? Wetin I wan use China infinix do?” the guy asked and I was tempted to call him a fool, only the gun in his hand stopped me.

“Chairman, I broke like this,” I managed to say, hoping to extract pity from the guy.

“You broke and you dy carry this kind of beautiful girl,” he said. I looked at shape and back to him.
“This one? She is my junior sister ni, where I see money to carry girl?” I asked. He observed shape and licked his lips.

“This your sister go sweet gan,” he said. Shape sniffed.
“Bros abeg, she is a virgin,” I said and noticed the look of disbelief on his face.

“Virgin carry all these things?” he asked.

“I am surprised myself,” I said.
“And how did you know?” he asked me.

“No be me and am dy stay like this?” I asked.

“No be your sister again?” he asked with a grin.

“I mean…” I stammered.

“I understand, as in sister in Christ,” he said with a smile. I sniffed without a word again.

“Bad guy,” he hailed me. I smiled uneasily. He went for my laptop sitting on my refrigerator and unplugged it. I felt the tears chocking my throat.

“You fit buy am back if you get money o,” he said, smiling wickedly at me.
“How much?” I asked.


“Bros abeg, I thought we were friends already, you na my fellow guy naa. No do this thing. Take the phone and leave the lappy for me abeg,” I begged.

“We no be friends guy, we fit be friends tomorrow but no be this night. How person go dy steal from you, you sef go dy call am your friend?” he murmured, feeling my pocket. He felt my Nokia torchlight, the phone after my own heart.
“Give me that phone,” he commanded.

“Bros na Nokia torch o,” I said, looking up at him with pity in my eyes and pulling the phone hurriedly from my pocket, he had his gun in my face.

“E no matter, phone na phone,” he said, putting the phone in his pocket.

I was calculating how to pull a Jackie Chan on him when my door opened. Another of them peeped in, a gun in his hand too.
“Emeka do fast make we commot here,” he said and then stared at my plasma TV on the wall.

“This guy get better television o. If to say we carry car come.”

“No worry, next time. At least we don get like five laptops,” the Emeka said with a smile, pointing at my laptop. I actually cried, only that there was no tear.

He parked his loot and headed for the door.
“Fine girl, goodnight,” he said to shape and turned to me. “My guy we go see next time eh. Try buy iPhone, e dy cost pass all this infinix and tecno,” he said. I ignored him. He closed my door and shape sniffed then he opened the door again.

“Come,” he called me. I stood up and walked to him, fidgeting to break his head when he turned his back but I saw about five other guys outside, some had pump actions.

“Who get that room wey them lock?” he asked me, pointing at Shape’s room.

“She is not around, she went home,” shape answered rather hurriedly.

“You sure?” he asked her and she nodded.

“No need to waste time. We already get enough things,” he said to his colleagues. They nodded and started moving. He turned to me.

“Oga e go be naa. Lock your room and continue your brother on sister in Christ sleep,” he said and walked away. I closed my door and fell to the floor.

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“What happened?” I asked shape and she explained. They had knocked on the door and she thought it was James or some other of our lodge mates. She opened the door and found out otherwise. Now my laptop was gone and my two phones. James scampered into my room almost crying.

“Guy they cleared my wardrobe,” he said and sat beside me on the floor.
“They nearly raped Shape,” I announced.

“Did you watch?” James asked me, a bit of excitement on his face. Shape hissed and was ignored.
“I said nearly guy, he no touch am.”

James hissed and we sat there, James’s face on the floor and his hand on his head. My gaze was all on Shape, somehow, I only managed to remember that wonderful dream before the mofo woke me up.
“Thank God,” I muttered. James and Shape turned to me.

“For what?” She asked me.

“They didn’t steal your pussy,” I said. James fell on the floor and Shape hissed.
I spent the next day crying over my laptop and my Nokia torch. The phone had all my beautiful female contacts, my heart was simply broken. Shape kept consoling me, after all her room wasn’t robbed and when we were alone inside, I was crying, hissing and throwing my hands on my head, she had asked me.

“Do you want to suck breast?” jingling her boobs with a wide smile

I looked at her with a mighty frown and then threw my face away. After all, hers was just a pair of breasts, my stolen phone’s contact had many of assorted colors, sizes and many more.

“In the name of Jesus, any hand that is involved in robbing my son will know no peace for the rest of his life!”
A loud echo of amen swept through the whole room.
“For stealing his properties, may they have all there individual destinies stolen!”
My amen was the loudest. My laptop and my phone had meant a great deal to me.
“Abba father! You promised me that no evil man shall lay a hand on these innocent, precious children you gave to me and therefore for laying a hand on my son, descend on the enemy’s camp with your mighty hand and beat the devil out of their various lives in Jesus name!”
My amen was low and I turned to Willie who was kneeling beside me and throwing out Amens like punches.

“Did you tell them that I was beaten?” I asked him in whispers. He turned to me, eyed me and continued the Amen chants. My mom kept up with the curses until she had made a mess of the robbers lives with her prayers then we sang praises and made the final sign of the cross.

“Dad, Mom, as in they cleared everything,” Willie continued and I kept nodding as back up. My mom crossed her hand over her chest and kept repeating her chants of “ewoo!”.
“The television, the laptop, his phone even his clothes,” Willie said again and my father coughed, dropping his paper on the side stool. He removed his spectacles and stared at me.
“You have a television?” he asked after a staring match between us. Amara scoffed, my mother turned to him with disbelief all over her face. I turned to Willie with that “Shey you have seen what you have caused?” look on my face. Then my mother came to my rescue.

“Is that all you can hear from what they have been saying here since? Criminals attacked your son, beat him like a school drum and left with all his property and all you heard is that he has a television?” she asked.
“He is not dead naa, is he?” my father asked.
“And so? Can’t you see how they have beaten my son and changed his color to black?”
Everyone laughed, even my father.
“Was he white before?” he asked.
“I don’t know but I don’t think I have enough Children already, talk less of the one armed robbers will come and kill for me,” she said, adjusting and readjusting her head tie.
“Come and have more naa,” my father said, picking up his paper from the stool again.
“Yes, we need another fresh chic in this house,” Willie said.
“Yes, a cute baby girl,” I seconded.
“No, we need another boy, the two I have are gradually turning into a heap of wastes,” my father said and kept peeking at the paper over the rims of his spectacle.
“My children are not wastes biko, my baby boys are responsible,” my mother defended.
“Yes, we need a girl, when aunty Uju and Prisca gets married now, I will be the only girl left the in house,” Amara said. My father turned to her.
“Go and born a girl naa, are you not old enough?” he said. Another argument was going to break out and replace my trending topic of the robbery. That was one thing I and Willie wasn’t going to allow.

“Dad, our exams are starting next week,” I said and he turned to me.
“Good, go and read,” he said.
“My books are back at school and I need go back.”
“I thought they stole everything?” he asked.
“Armed robbers don’t steal books,” Willie chipped in.
“Are you one?” my father asked him.
“No, please don’t call my son a thief,I won’t take that, no way,” my mother protested.
“I didn’t call him a thief, I was only asking if he was.”
“Are you a thief?” my mother asked him.
“God forbid,” he said and circled his hand over his head, snapping his fingers.
“Then why ask him if he is one. He can only be a thief if one of his parents are and I am not a thief,” my mother said, eyeing him. My father turned to her with a frown.
“I am not a thief, stop looking at me like that,” he said. Everyone laughed. Then I pressed further my charges. I told him my bed was also stolen and my room was bare, only my locker and books were spared.