Esenam told herself that she was definitely not going down that road with Akwasi. She had always hated the way hthee sweet-talked her out of their problems. She was not going to encourage him into thinking she wanted to be with him. She searched in her mind for the nicest way of letting Akwasi know it was permanently over between them. Akwasi, realizing the tension, tried to break the ice.
“Anyway, how is my love doing today?”
“I’m good by God’s grace. How about you?” Esenam replied.
“I’m not very fine because you are still holding a grudge against me. I’m truly sorry for my monstrous behaviour Esenam. I erred and I crave your forgiveness. I do love you. I want things to go back to where they were. I miss those times. I miss us. Please give me a second chance to make it up to you.”
“I’m not holding any grudges, Akwasi. Just that so much has changed. For one thing, I’m not the same anymore. I am now very determined to serve God faithfully to the end. I have to make adjustments in my life to ensure I earn God’s favour and you don’t agree with me on those adjustments. I know I would be very hurt if you cheat on me with someone else if we are together. I’ve still not gotten over what happened with Shirley. Besides, not in the very distant past I could stick my neck out and say that I was in love with you; I can’t say the same thing now because I don’t even know what I feel for you. You’ve sorely disappointed me and I can’t trust you anymore. It’s not like I’m holding grudges, no, I just can’t seem to love you anymore. Something in me died that day. Believe me I’ve tried to rekindle my feelings for you but I haven’t succeeded in doing that. I don’t want to lead you on Akwasi; I can’t pretend to be in love with you when I’m not. You don’t deserve that. Please understand.”
“Are you bringing Shirley back into our lives? I thought we crossed that bridge two years ago. She didn’t mean anything to me. It’s you I’m in love with.”
“It’s not like I’m finding excuses to throw at you. I have always wondered if you truly loved me. If you did, the fling with Shirley wouldn’t have happened in the first place. I never looked at another man when I was with you.”
“Esenam, can you honestly say that you don’t love me anymore? And do you expect me to believe that all that we shared is gone just like that? We were a great pair, you know. I need us back, please!” Akwasi stated sadly.
“I once loved you deeply. You were a dream come true. You were everything I lived for. But that was in the past. Things have changed. I’ve realized there is more to life than getting married, raising kids and traveling around the world. There is much more and that is life through Christ. Gaining God’s approval is my sole objective now. Learning about God’s ways and living in accordance with His rules is the best thing that a person can do and that is what I am striving to do now. There is joy in the knowledge that God cares and loves all and He wants all to attain His favour. He especially takes delight in those who strive to serve Him faithfully no matter what it takes. There is so much joy in serving God and you can feel that joy too if only you avail yourself to be taught by God through His ministers on earth. And to crown it all, God promises His faithful followers everlasting glory. Don’t you want to live knowing you have God’s favour? Don’t you want to live feeling God’s love over you? Don’t you want to live with a clear conscience?” Akwasi stared at Esenam in total disbelief. Somehow he did not find it fascinating when she went on like that. It was as if something was wrong with her.
“Just look at you Esenam. I don’t even know you anymore. You sound like a total stranger. I want you the way you used to be–carefree, sweet, warm and loving me with passion. These days you’re too serious with everything. Stop this church nonsense for old time’s sake and let’s have a fruitful life together. We are meant to be together. Don’t you see the writing on the wall? You stand at losing almost everything you hold dear and for what? You have to stop this before it lands you in deep torture.” Akwasi said, trying so hard to be polite.
“You don’t get it, do you? There is no way I’m quitting my service to God for any man or anything; I won’t do it for you, not for my father and not for anyone. Get that through your thick skull.” Esenam replied. Akwasi’s anger peaked. He was tired of trying to be nice. He got to his feet and looked down on Esenam as if she had gone raving mad.
“Please yourself, Angel Esenam. I promise you’ll come crawling back and I would gladly wait for that day. I can’t accept that you don’t love me. It is simply not possible. Don’t wait too long though, because I won’t wait for you forever. You know I can get any woman I want just by snapping my fingers.” He said and stormed out of the house.
Esenam saw that Yayra had fallen asleep whilst watching the cartoons. She carried her to her room and stayed with her for a while, and then she left for the sanctuary of the garden. Somehow the flowers and all the green surroundings always had a way of lifting her spirits. She always got depressed after her arguments with Akwasi. She was, however, determined to serve God faithfully no matter what it took. She was ready to do whatever it took to be countered among God’s faithful followers. She let the sweet fragrance of the flowers sweep over her, and gradually her stress slowly dissipated.