Yesterday, Ahmad confessed his feelings for me in a restaurant. He lured me there in the name of giving me a lift home. Well, I was happy to hear him say he loved me but not so happy because men can say they love a woman even if the feelings they have for her is weak. Sometimes, they just admire you – that’s all.
I had to run out of the restaurant because I was too shy to stand there, plus the people’s attention was on us. I had to run away and hopefully, I was able to get a cab as soon as I was outside. I went home and all I could think of was Ahmad’s confession. Was it for real?
I kept thinking until I slept off. Thus, I had a very sweet dream that Ahmad and I got married and Allah blessed us with triplets. Funny, right? I also think so. Maybe it was Rania, after all she was carrying his child.
Today, I didn’t go to work because I needed a break. Yes, a break from Ahmad and his punk friend – Ka7 who kept coming to check on me in the factory. I had never for once say a word to him and my hubby was rolling my eyes and hissing at him whenever he talked to me. He really thought he could lure me with his dressings, glances and so on but I was no fool!
Ahmad was the only man in my heart and the feelings I had for him was still steady, even more now that he had confessed his feelings for me but I kept asking myself whether to accept him or not. What if I accepted him and he ended up dumping me? No, I shouldn’t accept him yet until I was very sure he truly loved me for if he truly loved me he would never dump me. I would test him in so many hard ways and only after he pass my test would I accept him.
My stomach grumbled for the umpteenth time. I deliberately refused to eat lunch and now my stomach was complaining. Both my cousins were in the sitting room watching film while my uncle and his wife recently went out to see a friend in the hospital. I walked to the kitchen, picked up a plate and spoon thus, fetched some fried rice from the pot and sat on the tall stool in the kitchen island. The rice was still warm.
A text message from Ahmad arrived. I was expecting his call but somehow he chose to text me instead. I gulped as I gently read it.
Ahmad : “I wont ask you why you refused to come today, I know you’re still thinking about what I told you. I swear I love you, Humairah”
Me: “It is not by saying it, it is by proving it”
Ahmad : “In that case, I want to prove it by marrying you. Humairah, please will you be my wife? The mother of my unborn children?”
Me: “Only an insane man will propose on text message. By the way, I love glittering rings!”
Ahmad : “Like a diamond, right? I will get a diamond ring and then I will proposed to you”
Me: “Hmm, for real?”
Ahmad : “For real, my love”
Me: “Hmm, okey!”
Ahmad : “I love you, Humairah”
Me: “Hmm, I don’t know what to say”
And that was how we kept chatting until I was done eating without even acknowledging the fact that I was done. Ahmad promised to propose to me tomorrow and I was so eagerly waiting. After all, that was my dream. I could remember the first day I met him which was the day I came to the city with my uncle. He had hit our car and claimed we were the ones at fault. That day, I just felt something in my heart and I knew I was in love with him.
After that, I somehow managed to be his cook and eventually became his friend. I could remember the day he almost violated me. Perhaps if I had allowed him, our love story wouldn’t have reached this juncture at all.
Men will always be men. They are bound to love women, to marry them, and to have them whenever the need arises. Don’t allow a man to violate you in the name of love. He should wait until the knot is tied, only then should he have access to you. Be a strong woman and know your worth. Don’t allow any fool to turn you into his toy. Love and lust ain’t the same!