People like Sarah, Mubarak and Faisal thought Ahmad was in love with me but they were so badly wrong. When Naziha disappeared from the house few weeks back I was always around Ahmad – making him feel safe, cracking jokes, telling him stories, watching films with him, dining outside with him and even going out to search for Naziha, but he never talked about love with me. He never tried to touch me, he never looked at me affectionately, he was always talking about Naziha and he never stopped until she literarily returned back.
Ahmad was so happy to see Naziha when she came back. He boldly hugged and kissed her in our presence. He didn’t even ask her where she went to and why, he was so happy to see her back. Like seriously? My own Ahmad? The Ahmad I was always around him? Well, that was enough for me. Do you even know what? There was a time he told me he was the h—y type and so he couldn’t stay long without sex. I wanted to tell him I was also a h—y type and couldn’t stay for a whole week without masturbating but then I changed my mind.
When Ahmad told me about his condition, I wanted to make myself available to him but then something told me not to – my conscience. So I dropped the evil idea and focused on making him feel like someone really cared.
Yesterday, he went out early and I thought he would come back and take me home like he used to but unfortunately he didn’t. It was Faisal who took me home. I didn’t have a good sleep, I was rolling from one side of the bed to another with his thoughts pacing my mind.
I loved Ahmad, I should have made myself available to him while I had the chance and maybe the child I would conceive for him would have united us but I was too scared to do that. What if he dumped me? What if all he had for me was infatuation? What if he was only using me to bar his loneliness? What if Naziha would always be his? What if…? My mind wasn’t at rest at all, I couldn’t stop asking myself questions that I knew I had no answers to. I really loved Ahmad and I needed him!
Today, Sarah called me as early as possible and told me she had been trying Ahmad’s number to tell him she wouldn’t be able to make it to work due to her troublesome pregnancy that had been taking its toll on her but then his phone wasn’t reachable.
“Please as soon as you reached Oga’s house, endeavor to tell him everything” She had implored and I told her not to worry. Ahmad was the kind boss that never reduce salary or scold just because you’re sick or took a day off. He was very kind.
While waiting for Faisal to come and pick me up, I held my earpieces to my ears and began listening to “Right Now” by Seyi Shay.
It wasn’t cold today so I wasn’t wearing my sweater. I was wearing the ankara I came to the city with. It was my best in the village but here, you know what to call it. Nothing in the village can be compared to that of the city, everything was perfect here. Water was always in your house, electricity was stable, storey buildings everywhere, fancy cars, medical facilities, etc!
When i close my eyes
And i think of the memory
Me and you, you and me
You used to looove me
You used to looove me
And baby i will ride for you
Flow wine for you
I will touch my tippy toes
I will bounce it for you
Oh, ohhh… all the things you used to dooo!
As soon as Faisal arrived with the car, I paused the song and quickly hopped into the car. He was so late today, 7 O’clock but I didn’t complain because what was in my mind was heavier than anything at that moment. I greeted him and just as I was about playing the song he said something that baffled me.
“Something happened between Oga and his wife yesterday, he drove out of the house in extreme anger” He said as he began driving.
“What do you mean?” I puzzled.
“Well, I was in our lodge when I heard Oga yelling at Mubarak to open the gate for him. The way he spoke told me something was wrong. I quickly rushed out and saw madam begging Oga in the parking lot not to go but Oga was furious. He reversed back and drove out like sonic. Maybe something happened between him and madam or maybe he divorced her because throughout the night Mubarak and I were helping her pack her things out of the house. She summoned a trailer early this morning and off she went with all her things” Faisal elaborated everything bit by bit to me.
“Subhanallah!” I exclaimed with a dropped jaw. “And where is Ahmad?” I queried hoping that nothing bad happened to him. He was the only one I cared for, nothing was my business with Naziha. Her leaving would pave the way for me into Ahmad’s heart, so why should I even worry about her? I certainly disliked her!
“Wallahi we’ve been trying his number but we couldn’t reach him…” He said in a sad tone.
“Take me to Brimstone!” I ordered.
“What?” He turned and gave me a baffled gaze. “What on earth are you going to do there?”
“Just take me there!” I gulped and continued. “If there is any place Ahmad would likely be at this moment then it has to be there” I added.
“That place is a very bad place, don’t tell me you’ve been there with him” He jealously said.
“Dan Allah just take me there. Not every bad place is dominated by bad people. After all, a hotel is a hotel. It depends on what took you there – date, dine, sex, lodge, anything” I said.
“Okey” He said and huffed.
“Whatever you have in mind, say it” I squealed.
“Nothing, is just that…” He paused.
“I’m listening, Faisal” I said.
“Well, the thing is… uhmm, I will tell you some other day, I promise” He changed his mind.
“It better not be what I’m thinking” I said.
“What’s that?” He asked.
“Love!” I said.
“Oh my God, Humairah! Why do you expect everybody to love you? Just because Mubarak once used to call you my girlfriend doesn’t mean I have feelings for you” He smirked.
“Right?” I giggled and continued. “The more you deny it the more you hurt yourself, Faisal”
“Okey… okey, I love you!” He cleared his throat and continued. “Are you now satisfied? Crazy teenager kawai” He said laughing at himself.
“Sadly, she will never be yours” I giggled.
“Whatever!” He said.
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Brimstone was Ahmad’s favourite dining place, it was a remarkable hotel located just after the State Government house. I never knew there was such a place in this present life until he took me there to quench his loneliness. We’ve been there more than 5 times, just to dine and have some fun. He wanted to feel cared and I was the perfect soulmate.
As soon as Faisal pulled over in front of the hotel’s gate, I told him to wait for me to go and check inside. There was a place Ahmad loved staying in, it was the elegant bar. If I didn’t see him there then that means he lodged a room.
“Don’t stay long, I haven’t eaten breakfast” Faisal complained wearing a pathetic emo.
“And why should I stay long?” I hissed.
“It’s a big place, you know” He said.
“Oh, I get it! Sai na dawo” I said and left him.
As soon as I was in the hotel, the first place I checked was the parking lots – none of which housed Ahmad’s car. Thus, I proceeded to the receptionist and then to the bar. He wasn’t there so I returned back to the receptionist with a smile.
“Please I’m looking for someone by the name Ahmad Jaafar Zaki, do you…”
“What are you doing here, Humairah?”
A husky voice from my back intercepted me. I didn’t even know when I turned to the person. It was Ahmad, and he was obviously drunk.
“What the hell!” I quickly collected the beer he was holding and dropped it onto a table. “We have to go home sir!” I said holding him.
“Oh come on, Humairah!” He gently pushed me away and took the beer. “This is just life and, it’s gonna end soon so lets enjoy while we can!”
“No!” I collected the beer from him again and returned it to the table. “Please lets go, sir”
“Okey… okey, but let me get my car key. It’s… It’s in the room I… I lodged, 34” He stuttered.
“Okey, stay here sir. Let me go and search for it…” I said and quickly ran to the elevator.
Immediately I was in the room, the first place I checked was the bed. It wasn’t on the bedside drawers so I took off the blanket and just then the key fell. I smiled about picking it up when Ahmad stormed in. I had told him to wait for me outside but he was the stubborn type. I took the key and walked to him. “Lets go” I said about walking him out when he held my arm with his hand. He was kinda taller than me.
“She cheated on me” He said.
“Who?” I puzzled.
“Naziha, she slept with someone” He said.
That moment, my heart began beating so very fast. Was her wandering all about that? How dared she do that to him? Was she insane?
“But why?” I asked.
“It’s a long story Humairah, but now I am going to cheat on her too” He said in tears.
“What do you mean?” I puzzled.
“I’m sorry Humairah, but I have to rape you” He said and before I knew it he lifted me up and threw me on the bed. I didn’t say anything, if that was what he wanted then he had gotten it. But I was scared, I was a masturbator not a fornicator. Was I doing the right thing?
“Wait Ahmad, please just wait!” I squealed.
“What?” He said as he stopped unbuckling his belt. “You promised to be there for me!”
“Yes, but this isn’t good sir!” I said.
“But I have to, I really need to” He said.
“Okey, but not with me” I said feeling the paces of my tears down to my ears. I was so scared.
“Humairah, look…” He said as I cut in.
“Please sir, lets just go home” I pleaded.
Just then, he huffed and withdrew from me. “I’m sorry” He said while adjusting his belt.
“You don’t need to be sorry” I managed to say as I withdrew from the bed and held his hand with a bitter smile. “Lets go home, sir”
“Okey” He said
We walked out of the hotel, I thought he had parked his car somewhere around but he told me his car was hijacked by some thugs when he angrily left the house in the night. I really felt sorry for him, everything happened because of Naziha. He loved her so very much. I had wanted him to have me but I changed my mind the moment I saw him about to do it. I was so scared and wasn’t ready for it. I knew he wasn’t in his full senses and I knew he would eventually regret ever doing it. He never said he loved me, he only wanted me to be around him and to help him out of every difficulty. If he had said that he loved me, maybe because of that love I would have let him have me. But what if he had me at that moment? Perhaps he may ended up dumping me and my dream of becoming his wife would have ended up prematurely. Men would be men!
We both went out to Faisal, thus we occupied the back seats of the car. It was a silent ride home. Ahmad had to vomit almost all the bad stuffs he took in the hotel, thus I cooked breakfast and he ate and slept. While cleaning the mess he threw up, I imagined how perfect it would be for me to be his wife. Like, he understood me and I also understood him but why wasn’t he thinking about marriage? Why couldn’t he just make me his second wife?