The Coffin Maker Episode 16

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Kuukua Nhyiraba

Hmmm, the room is very hot this afternoon so why don’t we sit outside here under the tree and enjoy the cool breeze.

Opana

Since when did you start to host me outside your room, even when the electrician hadn’t fixed the meter for you to get electricity in your room we sat together in the room so why the change of plans now? Well I came to spend quality time with you so I am going inside to wait for you, when you enjoy enough breeze under the tree you can join me inside.

Kuukua Nhyiraba

Hmmmm, but you always call me when coming so why this sudden popping up here today?

Opana

I told you I wanted to spend quality time with you and also surprise you, is it a crime to come here unannounced? Am I not the one who pays the bills here?

Kuukua Nhyiraba

If you say so I have heard you, come inside then. I could have prepared something for you before you got here if you had called me.

Opana

I’m not hungry this afternoon but why is your room scattered this way? Look at how your bed and hair is messed up? Is everything alright with you Kuukua because everything you are doing looks strange to me this afternoon?

Kuukua Nhyiraba

Everything is fine with me my love. Don’t worry we will spend quality time together my dear.

Opana

I love what my ears just heard. I know this place is where to be called home sweet home. I brought you a very sophisticated phone and am going to give you additional money to the one I gave you yesterday.

Kuukua Nhyiraba

Waooow, you don’t know what I am about to do to you this afternoon. Let me take a quick shower, I will be right back.

Opana

Hahahahahaha, you know I fear nothing at all in this world. Don’t keep me waiting for long.

Kuukua Nhyiraba

Okay darling, I will be back even before you think of it.

Kuukua Nhyiraba leaves the room to shower and Opana rest on the bed to wait for her.

In her absence, Opana felt discomfort in his stomach and he starts to release powerful “bombs” since he felt he was all alone in the room. He held his nose and blows air to his face to clear the bad odour that came after he dropped those “bombs”,

“Eeeeiiii, the way my stomach smells am scared ooo, hope my intestines are not rotten inside my body because this bad scent can cure madness and make a deaf person to start talking but what noise did I hear like am not alone in this room?”

A while later Kuukua Nhyiraba joined him in the room looking all fresh and sexy. Opana nearly run mad in seeing the nakedness of Kuukua Nkyiraba when she dropped her cloth.

Kuukua Nhyiraba

Baby boy so what did you say you have for me?

Opana

Women and how they display their powers, always using your body to get what you want. Well I decided to add extra One Thousand Cedis(GHC1,000.00) to the amount I gave you yesterday and since you said you wanted a phone to Whatsapp and something, I got you this phone, Samsung Note 8.

Kuukua Nhyiraba

Wooooooow, you are such a darling and I bless the day I set eyes on you. You are the best my dear, now come here and let me give you a hot afternoon treat, I have special sex styles that will blow your mind and render you paralyzed today.

Opana and his mistress engaged themselves in some rounds of quality, powerful mind-blowing sex and after that they all lie down in bed and Opana starts to crack jokes to the amusement of his mistress, he started with a young man who goes to the city and smoke high grade marijuana and later came home to dance to the tune of a generator set sound of his next door neighbour all night long and as if that was not enough, early the next morning he mixed detergent in a bucket, picks a mob and goes to the street and starts mobbing the street.

Kuukua laughed uncontrollably that tears started dropping from her eyes but what almost killed her was the joke of a guy who chased after a very tall and well-built thief on the street, everyone stopped chasing after this thief but this young guy was still chasing the thief all because he wanted to impress a lady.

The thief turned and realised that it was only this smallish guy who was chasing him, he turned and with a big voice screamed, herh so you are the strongman who wants to apprehend me huh? I will break your bones today, the young guy now pretended to be a madman and told the thief that he is a madman who is going his way and walked pass the thief faking as a lunatic.

From nowhere Opana hears a loud laughter that made him jump on his feet. He bent down and saw a jeans trouser and boxer shorts lying at the corner of the room, he reaches for his phone and puts the touch light on, and to his amazement he saw someone hiding under the bed. He instructed the person to come out and to his greatest surprise when the person came out it was no one but Kwame Fred.

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Opana

Herh, what are you doing here Kwame Fred? Kuukua so all this while that you have been acting weird it was because you were harbouring this fool in the room that I pay rent on, is he the reason why you always complain that you are broke? So you have been robbing Peter to pay Paul right? Young man it seems I am the one who will send you to your early grave.

Kuukua Nhyiraba

Darling please forgive me, I knew this guy long before you met me and I didn’t want to turn your proposal down because you were all over me and you promised to take very good care of me. Honestly, I didn’t feel anything for you but as we started this relationship, I have grown so fond of you that there is no single minute passes by without me not thinking about you.

Opana

Spare me that expensive lie, do I look like a fool to you? So all the sweat that I came to meet on you was not from any medicine you took nor any aerobic exercise but rather from the work this fool was engaging you in, I should have known this long time ago. And you Kwame Fred so you have been sharing my mistress with me all this while and that wasn’t enough for you that you wanted to add my daughter to it huh? You again wanted me dead which I did not understand but I have gotten a clearer picture now. You know with just a call my boys will just come after you but because of the fear of God I will let you live on this earth, what you and Kuukua Nhyiraba have gotten from me is enough but you won’t get me again.

Kuukua Nhyiraba

(on her knees begging for mercy)

Please my love don’t say that and please give me another chance to prove to you that I really love you, I only felt pity for Kwame Fred last night when he came to knock at my door with blood stains all over his body, but I don’t know where he got the strength he was using to bang me. I gave in to his demands because I didn’t want him to feel any more pain than he was already feeling. Believe me I have broken up with him several months ago and yesterday was the first time I saw him after I broke up with him.

Opana

My friend shut up because I don’t care if what you feel for him is pity, compassion, lust or love. If I had married you this would be the same thing you will do, today I call a spade a spade and not a big spoon. Don’t ever call my line again, don’t send me messages again and in fact anything that tied us together has been broken. In other words it’s over between us for good, am going to my wife to spend the rest of my life with her.

Kuukua Nhyiraba

Kwame Fred, you see what you have caused me you bad luck guy. Leave my room this very moment. You have destroyed everything I worked for over this months with your selfish ambition and I regret opening my door for you last night.

Kwame Fred

Please sir, forgive her, I took advantage over her as I knew her weakness, if I knew she was engaged to you or shared any bond with you l would not have bothered to come close to her, she tried to stop me when I started but I didn’t listen to her.

Opana

If you don’t shut your mouth, I will descend on you like a thunder storm, today which profession are you practicing because last time you were a fashion designer and today you are an under the bed so you are a bed engineer huh?

Kuukua I have spoken and won’t go against my words, give me the phone I gave to you and for the money you can keep it and use it as a breaking up benefit or better still an ex gratia. Enjoy your young life and continue with your fun I am out of here.

Opana walks out of the room with pain taking hostage over his body and emotion, going to the house now was only going to compound his pain and anger so he diverted his attention to the palm wine joint to drink his sorrows away as most cowards do.

We know that drinking our heads off will never solve the problem we are faced with but we will always hire the services of alcohol.

Opana got to the joint and started ordering bottle upon bottle, he drunk the palm wine in a way he hasn’t done before ever since he started taking in alcohol, he paid his friend as he told him he was closing for the day and even took extra 2 bottles with him as he left the palm wine joint.

Do you know that every drunkard no matter how drunk he or she is, knows the way to his house? Don’t ever be deceived by a drunkard that any negative thing he or she did, the alcohol controlled him or her because they never drink their brains off. He managed to get home safely and as he entered his room, his wife, who was in the living room was so surprised to see his husband in that compromising state because for over the 30years that they have been together she had never seen her husband this way before.

She took the bottles of palm wine and placed them in the fridge and served her husband his food but Opana couldn’t even locate his mouth so his wife helped feed him and then took him to their bedroom to bathe him, she placed him on the bed and he immediately fell asleep. She decided to put her husband’s trousers in the laundry basket and that was when the unexpected happened.

Tbc