Who hires these people?
What ever happened to the criterias”?…I was wondering to myself.
But I kept quite instead.
He opened the car door and I slid in..
Relaxed..I sighed. It was hot. So when he turned on the Ac I was grateful..
He put the car on drive and then pulled out of the parking area and we proceeded with our journey.
“Can I have the mail and my work schedule sent from the lagos office please?..
“Can I have what’s to be given to me?
“Mails, work schedule and appropriate information and company details I am to be acquainted with please…I would like to go over them as soon as possible”..
He looked at me from the front mirror..
“Er madam I no sabi wetin you mean..”
I was getting visibly impatient..
“Mr brain…don’t tell me you didnt print it as it was mailed to you?
“I think that was your first point of duty…and you seemed to have failed?
“Hand it over if you will….I don’t have the patience..”
He seemed amused..
“But madam…why you de call me that one…my nam……..’ he was saying but I cut him off
“Are you slow or just daft Mr brain Andrews…”? I had to ask.
“But madam …wetin I do?…
Then he suddenly paused and seemed he recollected something
“Oooh you mean that paper card wei I carry collect you??..
I winced with his constant use of pidgin.
Even my driver okon back in lag spoke an occasional English.
I was getting pissed.
He laughed a short laugh..
He fished with his free hand on the passenger’s seat where he flung it to as soon as we got in…
He gets it without taking his eyes off the road and takes his hand back and gives it to me..
“Madam take am…
“See me oh…I no even remember say nai that one you mean…I con de Jones for here…”.. He shook his head and continued laughing.
I hit his hand away angrily causing the placard to slip and fall on the ground…
He seemed shocked.
He couldnt possibly be serious.!!!
“What nonsense is this …?
“What ignorant fool did they send for a PA. …???
“Mr Brain, apparent you don’t know first thing what your job is…
“And to seriously show me a paper for mails means that you aren’t just daft but in need of a re-orientation …
I fished for my phone in my bag..
I was so not ending with this old fool.
I dialed the lagos office..
Got through to the secretary. .
“Yes..Please patch me through to Tina…”…i spoke into the receiver as the secretary picked.
“Yes I’ll hold”…
I threw daggers at the man infront of me…
“But madam wetin dey make you dey provoke?
“Them tell me say make I go airport go wait for you…
Them come give me that paper card wei be like them paste something ontop …
Say na your name..”
“Say the person wei the thing or name resemble go see am come meet me…
That person na the madam oh.”..
“And I done do everything wei them ask even stay dey wait you…
“Nai wetin I give you be that oh…
“Me I no sabi again oh…
He kept talking..
“Mr Brain or whatever you call yourself…I am sure you are not blind to see me on the phone..
“Is something wrong with you as well??
“Don’t infuriate me more…
I shouted at him..
“Hain madam take am easy no vex….”..
His constant pidgin was making me even worse…
I felt like pulling out my hairs and ears…
He continued talking…
“Madam why you still dey call me something wei no belong to me..
“Weitin my mama and papa they call me no be that. My na…………
“Just shut the hell up and drive…
Let me just hear one more sound…a tiny little sound from that mouth of yours…..and God help me i would be your worst nightmare….”…I threatened him..
He shut up but murmured some obscene inaudible comments
I didnt even bother..
“Yes Tina what the hell????
“Ma’am…what is the matter?..
“Was something wrong the travel arrangements, pick up or your apartment?..
“I made sure they got apprised of your settling arrangements. …isn’t it to your satisfaction?
“On the contrary..
That’s not the issue Tina.
The point is am so infuriated I swear I can break your neck if you weren’t so far off..
Sharp intake of breaths.
I wasn’t sure where it came from..
The other end of the line or the man driving infront of me..
“Were you not supposed to have mailed the necessary documents and reconstructing changes to the new PA, plus every other thing I am supposed to be apprised off plus what and what he is needed to know on how I work and what my schedule should look like…???
“Were you not supposed to compile certain reports as well..??
“Why isn’t it in my hands as directed Tina? ..
“Have you suddenly lost your touch…or you simply are trying to get me pissed..
Becuase I am beyond pissed and I can assure you…I may not be in lagos but I can make you burn young lady…
“Hain…my goodness!!!.. she exclaimed..
“But ma’am I did do as directed.
Infact this was sent last night..
And I called and comfirmed that it was gotten and even printed out by the PA..
“So I don’t know what it is you are saying…..
“Are you telling me I don’t know what am saying…have you lost your senses??
“No ma’am but…
The fool for a PA that came to pick me up apparently has no irking of what a PA is nor is he aware of any documents he is to bring..
“Which implies that..
One of you is either lying…or both of you are equally stupid.
And that’s not sitting well with me..
And it would be worse if I go Monday morning completely gearedless. .
“I don’t know how you want to do it.
Make sure I get those documents in my hands latest tomorrow morning.
“And call the HR department..
Ask them to get me another PA..
This one is lousy…”
I cut the call before she started to protest.
I knew very well what she was about saying. Today is Friday. . No one works on Saturday. .Well that was her punishment. .She should have made extra sure..I noticed the constant stare from the mirror..I didnt give a shit if he lost his job as a PA..
He should have taken special precaution to know his job even if he was on entry level.
I didnt need a slow daft human tagging along with and behind me when he is especially clueless.
That’s a dent in my A-game. .
And if he is gone and I got a better replacement..
That was just fine for me.
I didnt even feel guilty.
But they wouldn’t have a choice.
They needed me so..
A replacement woundnt hurt.
He pulled into the suburbs area of GRA..
Which was referred to as Government Residential Area..
Or simply put..
The area where the Elite, rich or semi rich…people stay…
Away from the not so polished residents and areas.
It was a staff estate..
Maximum security due to the fact that one or two royals might send their wards or kids..
Other than that..
People who worked in places like Mobil, chevron, Total, Shell..PH were housed there so you could imagine.
Each had its only district section.
Once the security made the necessary validation ….it opened its gate and flagged us in…
He drove down a few flats and then stopped at Apartment 36.
He got out to open the door..and handed me a set of keys.
I took it and brushed past him..
Opening the door and let myself in..
It was immaculately cleaned and adequately furnished.
No matter I was told to just come with my cloths..
I didnt need to think of furnishing.
It was just beautiful and homely..
I was liking the change of environment more and more..
I went to the bedroom and noticed my boxes had arrived as expected and neatly stacked by corner.
“Well at least they did have the decency not to snoop around”….
The locks were still intact.
It seemed as though it was recently cleaned..
It smelled off air fresher and mama – lemon and bleach..with something else I couldnt place.
I walked to the kitchen..and opened fridge.
Ofcos, what did I expect?
Filled with food…
What are they…my mother or my nanny?
I shook my head.
I noticed a side telephone and a pamphlets that had names of resturants and home service numbers…
My tummy began to rumble..
I picked out a menu and then ordered.
I looked back at the stack of boxes..
Today I was just gonna shower, eat…and watch movies…
I came back to the palour and popped up on the chair..
I noticed a looming shadow outside..The door
I got up and opened the door.
“And why are you still here Mr Brain.?
“you planning on upsetting me more with your lingering presence??
He was rested on the Brunner of the car and stood up on me opening the door…
Scratching his head. .
“Er…incase madam need me to do anything again..nai make I dey wait?..
“If madam won chop I fit carry am go wei him go see better solid food….”..He smiled..swinging his hands…as though delivering cookies in a platter of gold..
“I will order in.
I have no more need of your annoying presence…you can do away with yourself…Mr brain..
Have a good evening.”..
I shut the door shutting out his words..
I wasn’t going to wait for his reply.
Picked up the remote.
Life just got way easier…
The only thing I need is stuck the house with food supplies..
Tomorrow I will do that.
Unpon remembering I went to the room and got my phone..
Dailing to get Tina.
“Wasnt it common sense for that girl to get back to me and apprised me how she is rectifying the situation”…I wondered out loud..
But her number was unreachable.
“Oh Bullocks! !!..
I gave up after countless tries..
My order came in about 20 minutes later.
I then settled for a series I loved to watch and they were just showing on mnetSeries..
“One Tree Hill”…
My love for Lucas though!!!…
Today was Friday.
Tomorrow was Saturday
One day Inbetween before Monday. .
I better make the most of it.
Who hires these people?