I remember I locked myself in the room for the next three days, without food. I didn’t even brush my teeth during those three days. I never felt hungry, I just depended on the water in my fridge. Anytime I thought of my botched wedding, I feel the urge to commit suicide. Frankly, I wasn’t worth that disgrace and that always got me shaking. As I laid on my bed, sore and frustrated, I began to reminisce on how I chose Chris, of all the dudes in the world.
We met two years ago at a club. I went there with my friend, Anita, who went abroad seven months ago. I wasn’t a club girl so I didn’t want to get involved in anything there. I felt uncomfortable two minutes after entering the club-house so I told Anita I was waiting for her outside. On my way out, I bumped into this young man who was getting in. It was accidental but I recall landing my head straight on his chest. I apologised to him and went to stand behind my car.
About five minutes later, he came out and asked me why I was outside. I told him I wasn’t the club-type of girl, just waiting for my friend outside. So we entered into a conversation, where he introduced himself as Chris, an artist. I was innocent at that time but I felt something within me to give him the best of my chats. I didn’t know much about men because I hadn’t been in any relationship before. I was that cold and boring girl who was either at work (a forex bureau) or at home. My parents owned a plastic recycling company where I would tour every weekend.
Two months after I met Chris, he proposed to me. I accepted his proposal without much thought, thinking I had met an angel. He treated me right and I did as well. I gave him everything he asked, even the first touch of my body. We lived happily even though we had our ups and downs.
Four months ago, we planned to settle as husband and wife. I felt happy to marry at twenty-four. Even when he didn’t have enough money to plan the wedding, I gave him much to do everything; afterall, it was for our own good. So you see, I don’t think I had done anything wrong to deserve that shame. Maybe, I was wrong to love him wholeheartedly. Hmm, sighing heavily, I left everything to God, and exhausted from insomnia, I drifted off to sleep.
It was Sunday, the day on which the ceremony was to take place. I didn’t know how they dealt with the wedding cancellation but I got to know that nobody went to church on that day for a wedding ceremony. I had cried very well. Even till then, Chris hadn’t sent a simple text to ask of how I was doing. That was when I knew I had to forgive myself and face life.
I got up from my bed, went to the bathroom to wash down and changed my clothes. I unlocked my door and went out. Though I was still in pain, I knew that wasn’t the end of the world. My grandmother was the first person to see me when I got out.
“ahaaaaa… there comes my angel. I hope you’ve forgotten about that stupid he-goat. He has nothing to offer you…come to me baby.”
I didn’t know whether to tell her to shut up or leave her to continue talking. I went out of the house and caught the rays of the sun I had missed in the past three days. As if on cue, everybody started clapping when they saw me. Why they were clapping, I could not tell. I guess they supported Chris for leaving me in mid-way. My dad came to me and asked how I was feeling. He took me to sit with him behind the christmas tree and talked to me in a way he hadn’t done before. Before I got up from my seat, I was back to ……….
Watch out for Episode 4…