Diary Of A Broke Playboy Episode 32


She just stood there looking so elegant. The pregnancy removed nothing from her beauty, it rather added a sort of sexy appeal to her radiant skin and made her saucy. Chinaza was just on fleek as she stood at my door that day but then, I would have loved to have me some Chinecherem.

She gave Chinecherem that look she normally gives me each time she gives me a head and I refuse to return the favor. Very deadly look.

“Who is she?” she asked, it was actually her first word on entering my room. Her eyes was roving from Chinecherem to me.
“Aunty don’t you remember me?” Chinecherem asked. I assumed the Aunty calmed her. She sized her up again and shook her head.
“She is shape’s sister,” I added.
“Who is shape?” Chinaza asked, facing me.
“Who else do you know that I know that has the potentials to be called shape?”
“Oh okay, Chinaza? You are Chinecherem right?” she asked, facing her. She nodded and that ended it. I don’t think it stopped her from suspecting that I may have an extra friendly business with her.
Chinaza walked up to me on the bed and made a sit out of my laps. I didn’t mind cos her ass was all soft and cosy only that she developed a little bit of weight.

James was already colonizing Chinecherem with immediate alacrity and I was just fuming. Chinaza doesn’t know when she is needed. I would have told her but I doubt if it was a good idea. But then, whatever, Chinaza even looked better than her, I am not hating shaa. But then, there is something about all these new Secondary school graduates that adds the veins to my preek.

Shaa shaa, things fell into place, slowly. Chinaza in my arms complaining endlessly about waist pain and wanting to go out and relax. James sweet talking Chinecherem and she looking endlessly at me and Chinaza. Something was telling me that she envied Chinaza’s position and may want to make a switch and I would have loved that. At least, her maths tutorial didn’t seem like it would happen which was better for me, I had lost touch with the mathematical side of me and James love for mathematics was inversely proportional with my love for fine girls.

“Did you cook?” Shape asked and Chinecherem scoffed. Even Chinaza was smiling mischievously. She obviously knew that cooking for me was next to reading my books without any upcoming exam or quiz in my list of impossibility.
“I’m hungry,” she said after getting that fuck you look from me.
“What do you want to eat?” I asked, rubbing at her tummy and having her smile up at me.
“Lemme buy indomie,” I said, trying to move her away from me. She refused and shook her head.
“What is indomie, is that what the baby will use and be Strong?”
“What do you want naa?”
“Take me out,” she snapped and my head cracked like a coconut.
“I know a restaurant around here that sells cheap and interesting food,” Chinecherem Chipped in.
“Yes, and they have the right food for pregnant women,” James supplemented her. I shot them two live bullets with my eyes and frowned. Chinecherem was smiling sheepishly, I wondered what gave that small girl the right to talk among men. James was giving me that his wicked grin. I hissed.

“When married men are talking, bachelors and spinsters should mind their business,” I said and everyone laughed, except me, it was my Pocket money that they are trying to divide into three after all.
“Baby please,” Chinaza begged with a look that would make you buy her the whole of Mr Biggs but then, I don’t even have the money to buy her a mama put.
“I don’t have money,” I begged back. She didn’t believe me.
“Baby, please,” she continued.
“I don’t have money,” I repeated.
“So I and the baby should remain hungry naa,” she snapped.
“But I offered to cook indomie.”
“It’s not good for the baby abeg, he needs solid food.”
“Is the baby complaining?” I asked. She eyed me angrily, I don’t know if she was serious with the anger or she was just pretending but she was still lying on my body so I assumed the anger wasn’t serious.

“Maybe we should go to the woman outside the gate, she even have 100 naira a plate food,” Chinecherem continued with her suggestions while Naza kept nodding.
“100 naira food won’t do us naa,” James added and Chinaza nodded again.
“We? as in, who are the we?” I asked, gathering as many frowns as my face would allow me.
“Us, all of us. We are hungry too,” Chinecherem answered.
“Do you see any breast on me?” I asked and she shook her head, a good deal of confusion registered on her beautiful face.
“Why do you ask?” she asked me.
“Well, is like you are mistaking me for your mother.”
Again, everyone laughed except me. Then like a storm, Shape breezed in, dragging her ass in and Willie behind her ass.

“Hey, the latest couple in town, Welcome,” Chinecherem clapped. Everyone kept quiet and turned to her. The surprise was on everyone’s face.
“Ar ar, I know these two guys don’t smoke and no one in this lodge smokes so I am wondering who gave you the weed that is pushing you like this,” Shape asked.
“Ask her o,” James said. Me, I was just looking, how can someone be so mouthed. She hadn’t even been up to 3 weeks around and she’s already sweet on everybody, even Willie that she just met. A very naughty side of me saw in a vision, a 3some involving me and James hovering over her head like the holy spirit.

“Is she that your cousin?” Willie asked shape and she nodded.
“She is fine shaa,” he murdered and scratched his side burns. James coughed. Chinaza charged up.
“See Willie, something is bordering us here,” she said and Willie turned to her.
“What is bothering our wife?”
“We are hungry,” she replied, waving at all of us. We nodded. Willie was willing to impress and in no time, My door was closed and we were on our way out, like an extended family. Each to his company. Chinaza was willing to show everyone around that her pregnancy was mine. James and Chinecherem, well, Shape ensured he kept an accurate 9 inches distance from each other but that didn’t stop my niggar from massaging her booty from time to time.

We ended up at a restaurant. We ate and we made merry, the boys drank and got drunk and the girls accumulated bills on Willie’s head but that money for his graduation tuxedo seemed not be finishing. Shape took a sip of Willie’s drink and let her tongue loose.

She revealed in her drunken state, some things that was between her and Naza. Apparently, she had asked Naza to come and keep an eye on us and her cousin. She trusted James a bit, it was with me that her suspicions lay. Obviously I needed to work on my reputation. Even shape is hiding her sister from me. Hmmmm.

Shape was a very sexy girl. I believe I have mentioned that here many a time. You can never over exaggerate her sexiness. Everything she did was as sexy AF, the way she talked, her smile, her cat walk. But as of recent, she seemed to have developed a very unsexy trait. Just one and it wasn’t until she came back from that honeymoon with Willie that it all started. She is always spitting around and it wasn’t attractive at all.

At first, I ignored it until that Jambite talkative talked to me about it.
“Ehm, Neche, are you aware that Chinaza is always spitting around?” She asked me, hovering over me and my plate of rice like an evil spirit. I boned and focused my attention on my food. She liked food too and is always sharing mine. She will say, “after all, you are my namesake, if you don’t take care of me, who will.” and is only in matters of sharing food that she remembers that we share the same name but when it comes to the other one, well shaa.

“So what?” I asked her, stuffing my mouth with half of the meat in the food. I thought I saw her eye me.
“Well, just last night, she vomited and.. ”

I hushed her. She was going to ruin my appetite with the unsavory tale.
“Chinecherem, I am eating abeg.”

” I know but what I am saying is that she wasn’t doing all those things until she visited your brother,” She continued.

“So you are saying Willie taught her how to spit everywhere?”

“No, you remember in Nigeria movies, when a woman starts vomiting? She said and eyed me suggestively.

“Then she is pregnant,” I completed it for her. She seemed to be making sense for the first time and I dropped my spoon.
“Where is shape?” I asked.

“In our room.”

I got up from my chair and eyed her, then eyed my food.

“Don’t touch it.”

“I swear I won’t.”

“I am serious.”

“I won’t touch it. Go and see her.”
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I left her to guard over my food. Goat and Yam. I got to shape’s room and met her lying on the bed looking as shapy as ever, only that her face wasn’t so bright.

“Baby,” I called softly and sat beside her on the bed.

“Sweetheart,” she replied. I touched her head and it was a bit hot.
“Neche told me you were vomiting last night.”

“Yes, I’m not feeling too well,” she said weekly.

“How is it doing you?”

“Slight headache, body pain, nauseous and my stomach too,” she listed out.

“Ah ah, only you?”

“Yes o,” she said.
“When did it start?”
“I started noticing slightly while I was with Williams baby, but it was just a slight headache back then, now even my waist is paining me.”
My jaw dropped, I looked at that waist and shook my head. It’s massive size made me wonder why it won’t pain but eventually, I thought, Willie has banged this girl into pregnancy. My father would just insist that he marry her.

“Do you think you are?” I asked suggestively and she eyed me.

“That I am what?”

“You know naa,” I repeated, rubbing my stomach.

“Pregnant?” she blurted out and I nodded.

“Nooo,” she said and shook her head vigorously, with some sort of confidence.

“How would you know that you are not?”

“I don’t know, I cannot be pregnant now, not now abeg.”

An Idea struck my head and I picked up my phone, dialed Chinaza’s number and put it on loud speaker. It rang 3 times before she picked.
“Hello,” she sang into the phone.

“Baby how are you?” I asked and she replied fine. Her voice showed she was fine, she was sounding really sweet.

“And the baby?” I added.

“He is trying to strangle himself with my umbilical cord. He has been disturbing me since morning.”
“Ehyaa, sorry sweetheart, I wish I could help you carry her,” I replied, placing my emphasis on the HER. She wanted a boy and I wanted a girl. I loved girls.

“It’s a he dear and I wish you could help me carry him too, you only know how to get me pregnant,” she replied stressing the he. I wasn’t in the mood for an argument and it’s my airtime that would burn. So I went straight to why I called her.
“Chinaza, what signs were you getting before you went for a pregnancy test?”
“How?” she asked.

“I mean, how was your body doing you before you realized you were pregnant?”

“Why are you asking? Are you pregnant or did you get another girl pregnant?”

“What do you mean? How can I be pregnant?”

“I don’t know o. You had better be pregnant because if it’s another girl that is pregnant for you, I will strangle you and whoever the silly girl is.”

“Jeez. Baby relax,” Shape intervened.

“Chinaza?” She called and shape answered.

“It’s me that wants to know about the pregnancy stuff,” shape said and Chinaza went cool.
“Okay, I thought that silly boy has done it again.”

“No, he can’t, not when I am here,” shape replied and eyed me. It was none of my concern, my only concern was that my airtime was burning.

“Okay, so it just started with a slight headache,” she started and shape paid rapt attention. “Then, I vomited once I think and I was always feeling dizzy.” I thought I saw shapes eyes bulge and I stifled a laughter. “And I think a part of my breast was paining me,” Chinaza finished and I saw the blood drain from shapes eyes. She was almost crying.

“Naza stop, thank you,” I managed to say and switched off my phone before that damn MTN girl will start warning me about my airtime.

I shook my head pitifully at her as her eyes moistened. She kept repeating ‘Willie has killed me’. Before it was Williams baby but now she pronounced his name in the old fashioned way my mother would call him, ‘WILLIE’.
I’m not very good at consoling girls especially beautiful ones like Shape, I was only good at romancing them and at that point in time, I didn’t think it would be of any help. I had to leave her to mourn herself and left for my room. I met my room empty and my plate that once had a sizable portion of rice and stew with a good chunk of meat was lying very neat in my basket, shining and dripping with the water that must have been used to wash it.

I had always told Chinecherem that someday, very soon, I am going to rape her to death but she thinks I am joking.