What?’ I asked in shock
She smiled as she sipped on her coffee and walked over to where I was.
‘You see Felicia, when people look at me on any platform all they see is the vice president, they see my husband’s wife. They will never look at me as Wane, it’s like my identity has been lost in everything I have built for my name, but that alone doesn’t mean I should lose myself in the fame and fortune.’ She said and went over to her wall of fame
‘Come here.’ She told me
I walked over to where she was standing and noticed that her eyes were fixed on one particular photo, it was her photo when she was very young. She was in a school uniform with spectacles on.
‘You see my dear, this right here was the peak of my life. I knew what I wanted in my twelfth grade and I worked towards that. I passed with distinctions and studied political science, many told me that I couldn’t make it in politics because it was a game only for the strong, for men but I wanted to prove them wrong. I do not believe in equity, I believe in equality and so I strived with every fiber in me to get to where I am.’ She said
I passed my fingers on the images, she was young and innocent with a vibrant smile.
‘Felicia you are still young and have a life ahead of you, do not allow matters of the state to change who you are. Pull out while you still can.’ She told me with a blink of sadness
‘But ma’am the rule is that…’
‘I will be here to back you up, no one will hurt a strand of hair on your head.’ She responded
‘I know too many state secrets, I could be taken down if I quit.’ I told her rubbing the tips of my fingers
‘You know nothing Felicia, I want you safe. It is getting dirtier here by the day, you deserve better.’ she told me
I couldn’t believe my ears, all I ever dreamt of was working for the state, yes I knew it wasn’t going to be rosy but little did I know the effect it would ever have on my life.
‘Away from that, did you find anything on that boy?’ she asked
‘No ma’am. Actually that is why I am here.’ I told her
‘Do not worry yourself, his body is already being shipped.’ She told me
‘What! How did you?’ I asked moving away from where she was standing
‘Felicia we are the state, the government. We execute the laws, your job as an executive officer is to implement them but when you can’t we take matters in our own hands.’ She told me perusing through some papers
‘That is not right, you execute we implement, there is a line between your job as the state and us as public administrators.’ I told her with hurt
‘He was the bread winner, the only good child of his parents.’ I had continued without realizing the hot tears that were now streaming down my face.
‘More reason why you need to get out my dear, this place is not suitable for you and it will get worse.’ She said dismissively
I walked out of her office with the weight of the world on my shoulders, I was depressed I won’t lie.
I got my phone and found missed calls from babe. I quickly called him back and he picked up on the first ring.
‘Babe.’ I told him
‘Mrs. Kunda.’ He responded
‘Sorry about missing your calls, I was in a meeting.’ I told him leaving out details
‘It is okay babe, you do not sound fine. Are you sure you do not want me to come over?’ he asked
‘No sweetheart I am fine.’ I lied
‘Alright wify, see you in a few hours.’ He told me
‘I love you.’
‘I love you more.’
I dropped the line and allowed the tears to fall, you see the other condition about the office I was working in was that no one – not even my spouse was supposed to know the nature of my job.
Lindile came into my office looking like it was a casual Friday.
‘And you?’ I asked
‘I need to go on a drinking spree with one of our targets, I need to get dirt on him but you know I have to pretend to like him.’ She responded
‘Lindile not that again.’ I told her
‘Hey, I love my job and everything that it comes with. Besides it’s not every day that I get huge tips.’ She responded
‘Lindile that could be someone’s husband you are messing with.’ I told her
‘If it’s my job and puts food on my table, cool.’ She answered
‘Not everyone is privileged enough to have a loving husband.’ She had continued crossing her legs on my table
I just looked at her and stared at the images on my PC once more, the email had just come in of the recent execution. I blinked back the tears and concentrated on Lindile who was busy with my pens now.
‘Do not tell me you are still sulking over a boy you had no connection to.’ She said blowing a gum in my face
‘Unlike you, I have a heart.’ I told her.
‘Boo with this kind of job you do not need a heart.’ She rebuked
‘And where do you expect me to leave my heart once I walk into this building?’ I asked her
‘I don’t know.’ She answered
‘Hey do not get worked up, you know I gat your back but these past days you are becoming too soft. Is it Justin? Or his mother again?’ she asked
I loved her with a passion but I wasn’t going to talk about my marital issues with her.
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‘Your excellence.’ He responded
‘We are pushing her to quit.’
‘But she is good at her job.’ He told him
‘We know but we need you in full operation.’
‘She will never forgive me for this.’ He answered
‘You do not need her forgiveness, you need to serve the country.’
‘But she is my…’
‘Don’t forget we made it possible, we can take her down any minute.’
‘That won’t be necessary, I will see to it that she resigns.’ He said before hanging up