Dealing With Nagging in Relationships and Marriage


Ps Dunamis Okunowo(KHC)
Susan could not understand why her husband, George started coming home late in the night. He wasn’t like that when they were newly married. He just seemed to prefer hanging out with the boys these days. Out of desperation, Susan cried her hearts out and said she would not stop until George tells her the reason for his night-crawling. When George finally spoke up, Susan was shocked! It was just three words.
Susan, you nag!
What is nagging? Solomon warned us in the scriptures about the destructive tendencies of nagging. He said a spouse that is being constantly nagged will prefer to stay away from his family.
Pro 21:9 CEV
It’s better to stay outside on the roof of your house than to live inside with a nagging wife.
On the roof! As if that was not enough, Solomom made it worse. It was like he just remembered one of his wives. then he wrote again.
Pro 21:19 CEV
It’s better out in the desert than at home with a nagging, complaining wife.
 What that means is that unrepentant nagging can actually drive couples apart. One assumption we have always had is that nagging is feminine. Well, the truth is that men and women nag. Another assumption is that the fault is always that of the ‘nagger’, but it is not always that way. It is a shared responsibility.
 So what is the definition of nagging? When you nag, you make repetitive demands or statements, you have a policing attitude on your spouse, you want your instruction carried out immediately and so on. This irritating and annoying habit is a cog in the wheel of marriage.
 If you find yourself in this pattern and you feel you nag, here are a few strategies and steps that might help.
 1. Recognise that you are involved in an unhealthy attitude, at least in marriage. Without admittance, there would be no changes.
2. Admit that you have been insensitive or arrogant to your spouse.
 3. Ask God sincerely to help you stop the bad habit.
4. Look for relevant scriptures that address the situation and meditate on them. When you meditate on those scriptures, you initiate the process on renewal of mind which eventually leads to transformation.
 5. Value your spouse’s opinions and don’t expect your spouse to do everything you say immediately all the time.
6. Stop repeating yourself. Your spouse heard you the first time. Rather than nag, talk to God and ask him to help you
As singles, do you see yourself with tendencies of nagging? Maybe you have even had a relationship broken and all the reason your partner gave was that you nag, How do you deal with that?
1. Pray and ask God to show you areas of weaknesses.
2. Bury yourself inside God’s word to have your mind renewed.
3. Meditate on God’s Word a lot. Out of the abundance of heart, the mouth speaketh…so change starts from within.
I pray that God will give you wisdom in Jesus name!