31st May Episode 16


“In the name of the father, the son and the holy spirit ” he says , doing the sign of the cross, the congregation gives a resounding
As the congregation begin to disperse, he calls out “Sister Rose Ogbageli , please kindly wait , I have a message for you from the Lord”
A sister who is tying a black scarf over her head and carrying a bible looks up , she had been picking up her back from the floor when he spoke.

it was a Tuesday service , “Digging deep” it was called.
it usually starts by 6pm to end by 8pm, sometimes like today it exceeds that time, ending a shy minute away from 9., and she usually had to follow her neighbour back home, before papa, gets home from the beer palour. He hated church, he hated Religion, he hated God. infact, if it was not his beer, he hated it all.
“Pastors are just thieves, they lure you to church , take all your money and send you all back ..while they use your hard earned money to build themselves mansions, use your money to build a school and then put the school fees very high that you can’t even afford to send your kids too, and then they use your money to buy private jets, jets you can never even near even till you die. and yet they come out everyday and says, ‘Money is the root of all evil ‘ and yet, they bask in your wealth. see the poor masses that fill the church, they give out their little in tithes and offerings and every day they keep singing give give give. but do you know the one that annoys me” he would belch.

“it’s the fact that these poor people have nothing to eat at home, or how they would send their kids to school, or how they would fend for the next couple of days. Pastor would scream..have faith, like the mustard seed have faith, then stupid stupid people like you” he would poke her head with his hands “and your mother , that one is a lost case , would take money that we don’t have like other stupid fools , always women, men sef try get sense, ehen what was I saying…” he would belch again

” would carry their money and dash those stupid men claiming pastoralship and they would be laughing at you all , then they would say in the name of the father , son and holy spirit, go and be well..God bless you and you all ..mumu will go home and then your tummy would be singing like butterflies fighting war with each other, your children are sick with qwasshiokwo, and then with tear tear cloths they would stay at home , no school no future..while this Pastor and their children are living in style, eating fat fat chicken, flying to UK , USA and all the U’s, and you come here to tell me that religion is not crap and bull, please…I have seen what they can do, I know all these pastors are fake, I have been there and done that, see..where has it gotten me? no job, no hope, my children useless, my wife..Akpamu!!! her case is in Okigwe shrine, and the only joy I have and peace is this beer, it is the only true friend and real entity in my life…with it, all my pains and sorrows will go away”
“Papa, it’s not true. Pastors are men of God; they don’t lie,steal or decieve”

“Shut up!! Shut up!! Pastors are men before they are pastors. they are the worse cons ever, scammers, Yahoo people, they do Religious Yahooism ” He laughs belching
“Papa, I will not stay and listen to what you say”
“Na fly wei no dey hear word naim they follow dead body they enter grave, stay away from those men, they are bad and evil. look you want to read bible, go inside my room, I still have that torn one there, carry it and read and pray, maybe God will talk to you. but pastors, that particular one with his eyes that is big, he had used it to bewitch me and everyone and ruined us..see me now..Ogbageli, me I have told you. better sit in this house, if I come back and see that you are not home, you will receive my belt, ask your brother, I do not joke. I may be drinking beer, but my anger cannot be quenched. if you don’t want to follow my rules in this house, gaan marry, afterall your mates they have all married and living their lives..” he says turning away

she had waited till he left, went to her mother and told her she was leaving, her mother tells her okay, that she should greet everyone for her, that she couldn’t make it because she was nursing her son who is sick.
Which wasn’t exactly a lie . Papa had beat him to a pulp, he had come back to catch him smoking weed, then ontop of a girl banging the life out of her, and he said his anger was that..he wasn’t even wearing a condom .
“See how we are suffering you want to bring a bastard child into my house..for who, I will kill you before you use that your preek and kill me you hear. I will cut it off. you want to be useless and stupid, go and join armrobbers, atleast before they would kill you, you will have stolen money for us small, then you die and go. see your mother, she sits in the house all day , going to that stupid church. .praying from today yesterday and forever,nothing have changed instead for she to go and sell in the market and use the money for us, she goes and dashes that her boyfriend pastor. I have told her if she leaves this house again, I will send her back to her father, she should go and stay by his graveside and be weeding, maybe one local champion can go and marry her and make her his 4th wife. now she has introduced her daughter, that one..stupid, gullible , she just swallowed it all WAAAAA!!! I have told her she doesn’t want to listen.
Papa this ..Papa..that, if I hear anything. .her case is sorry but you…you I will destroy your bones. You are a man shei, your blockus is sweeting you, put it inside hold water, e go soft, e still dey scratch you, come and meet me I give you 50 naira ,you go chemist , buy condom I look for geh for you who is as jobless and stupid like you , you do , clean mouth go. but if you bring any child come and give me..that day..you die. I only have money to buy my beer, not to train another child that would be useless to me” he says , then he walks away, leaving the boy who had curled into a ball crying ,
She had come to meet their Mother crying and wailing about how her father wants to kill them all.. Then pulling her brother to her, their mother had began to massage his body , to bring the swelling down and cleaning the wound.
“Mama let me go, I will be back soon. Edemwo!! sorry oh” she had said to him.
Ogbageli leaves and goes to church.

she loved church , she loved God and she loved her Pastor . he exudes such knowledge from the word of God that whatever doubts she had about christainity had been cleared up. She felt lighter after unburdening herself from her sins, as Pastor would say “Drop it all at His feet” and she had..

she knew that her father was just talking. His downfall and his failed business was all his doing . He didn’t know how to plan and manage himself, gambling, going out with friends to bars and drinking and forgetting to build a life for himself and his family after getting a good job and before long they were back to suffering.
He had been the one who introduced them to this church when they had moved here, he was a religious church goer, a seed giver, tithe payer and offering dropper. he did it , for show must of the time and not from the heart. , giving donations and spending too much.
when he finally lost his job, and those friends he had, suddenly disappeared; he transfers his anger to the church; saying that they were the cause of his downfall and requested back all the money they had received from him, he wanted it all, and thus he made quite a scene when he was told it wasn’t possible.
“You gave to the Lord sir and it has been used for the divine purpose of God’s works. God has done so much for you and you want to take back the little you give to him, something that he never takes personally, but it’s a sacrifice on your part to give God something to say thankful for all that he has done.”
“so God needs my money? Abeg give me my money jor!!” he says
“No, he doesn’t need your money personally, he needs it to help others who are in need because he won’t come down and help us, we are the ones standing in the gap, we are the ones who are our brother”s keepers. so you should read the bible, you would see when the Lord command that all the tithes and offerings be brought into his house so that those within can benefit , and then he would bless you so much that there would not be room enough for you to contain your blessings”
“Pastor, I have being doing all that, why haven’t I become rich like dangote, blessed like Obama, reverred like the Pope and worshiped like Bhudha? instead I have lost my job like the king of the North lost his head in GOT, have you watched that series eh? No..too sinful . okay even now sef, now I am sick and impoverished looking like Buhari despite the position he is in, and you keep spewing nonsensicals…look gimme my money , the hundreds of thousands I donated to your church, atleast it would help me start small business Pastor”
“it has been used for God’s work”
“Ehen, okay, open your house for me and my family so we can manage small,we don’t have anywhere to stay, ”
“Sir, my house, you know there are other pastors living there and the children of God too”
“Then I and my family are from Satan? ”
“No sir, I meant, the spiritual battles we face on the daily being in that house; if you are not fortified and cloaked in the blood of Jesus and if you are a sinner, you won’t last a night, you will be judge for your sins by God before everyone else on earth and do you know what would happen, if you are found guilty? the gates of hell will pull you. You cannot stay there”
“Pastor atleast give me a car to sell then, ”
“The church had come together to get me a car sir, I go about doing the Lord’s work, I need to be mobile, the mind and body is willing but sometimes the legs are weak”
“there are about five cars Pastors”
“For days of the week Child of God..”
“Pastor gimme my money !!!! gimme my money! !! ” He had hooked the pastor by his shirt and shaking him

the securities had to step in and he was asked to leave.. Whenever he came to church he made a scene, one time trying to grab the the offering bag and the other time the Tithe’s basket and making a run for it.
he had to be restricted and then over time he just stopped coming to church and embraced the only peace he could find…Beer!!!
“Sister Rose Ogbageli Ewedinwor? ”

The pastor calls her again
“Yes Pastor ”
“The Lord had put something in my heart to tell you . Are you in a hurry , so I can have a quick word with you and pray for you?”
she looks behind her as the lady waits for her ” Now Pastor? my neighbour is about leaving and it is late, I wanted to follow her”
“is the Lord’s message over your life not more important .?”
“it is Pastor Daddy”
“I was praying when the Lord ministered to me about your predicament and I just wanted to reveal it to you. it’s your blessing and breaththrough but if you don’t want to hear it, then you can go. the Lord be with you” he says doing the sign of the cross.
it was 9pm now, her father would be home by 10pm..
“will it take long Pastor Daddy? ”
“30 minutes I suppose. I have to pray for you”
she bites her lips, her neighbour won’t be able to wait for her.
“Don’t worry I can drop you if that’s the case, if you are worried, it is dark and it’s not safe for girl to be walking down alone.”
Okay,that was better.
“Okay Pastor Daddy, let me tell her to go then” he nods and she leaves, coming back a few minutes later
“Let us go to my office Sister Ogbageli ..because they would lock this side of the church and we can’t be here. but my office we can talk. it is only for your ears, the only spirit says no one will steal your joy. Amen? ”

“The Lord had shown me a man , tall and fair, big car and living in the USA, coming for your hand in marriage. do you know this sister?”
she snaps her head up ” No Pastor Daddy , I didn’t know.”
“the things of the spirit is not just revealed to anyman. I know your family are experiencing problems at the moment but this man ..he is the blessing your family needs to break free. Amen”
“He is coming but someone is blocking him from seeing you”
“Someone is .? who Pastor who?”
“Your spirit husbands”
“JESUS!!!” She exclaims touching her chest .”God forbid. I don’t have spirit husbands”
He laughs, speaking in tongues and reading a passage in the bible, then turning to her..”How old are you sister Ogbageli? ”
“29years old Daddy”
“How many suitors have come for you?”
“5 daddy? ”
“Why did they all leave?”
she sighs shaking her head…

” I don’t know daddy, at first all is well and smooth, all is great and then all of a sudden they just say they are no longer interested and they leave; and ever since my family started experiencing this issues, it has gotten worse. you said the bible said we should not lie and I have been completely honest with them and my life but after a few weeks they come to see me and my family, they disappear. ”
he laughs “God is wonderful. Jesus !! no one else had revealed this to me but God . when you sleep, do you have any sort of discomfort, like someone is pressing you, touching you, and in the morning you feel like…you have been ‘Done’ ”
Fear creeps into her eyes..
“Yes Pastor, how did you know. I have been feeling one kind of late, very uneasy and I used to wonder why I feel weak and tired and then my ..my area feels different every morning.”
“it’s your spirit husbands. they are about 3, they don’t want any man to marry you and take you away from them so by sleeping with you at night they disrupt the physical thereby causing all your suitors to flee. And now, the one that is coming from USA , he is your husband that God had made for you but like others he would come and leave you.”
“No eh Pastor, God forbid. what would I do..help me” She falls to the ground and cries.. “Sister get up get up there is a solution for everything , but you have to keep an open mind. there are things only prayers can fight;there are situations prayers and holy anointing can solve and there are situations only the physical action can solve and your case right now…since it is happening in the spiritual ..it has to be solved exactly the same way in the physical, extensive sessions for one week or two …before that hold of your husbands will break. ”
“I don’t understand pastor. ”
“You have to have sex with a brother in church , or any christain brother you know for two weeks . they would leave you as soon as they see him constantly sleeping with you. if not once your husband comes from America in three weeks..he would leave and that is it. you will remain alone and sad for the rest of your life and your spiritual husbands will continue for ever and soon you will have children in the spirit world.”
She began to cry

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“Pastor..hey..God. no I cannot I cannot. !!!”
“That is the solution. I can conduct prayer sessions for you with the sisters but ….it will not keep them away. And you know if people hear this they spread it and God knows what would happen to you. ..Girls and gossip. I wanted to tell the sisters in prayer in church first but God said I should let you know first . you don’t have time Sister. you have to start tonight. .Go home and look for any christain brother ..that is the only way. Do it without protection, do it with someone you trust and know and that he is born again. .that is the only way. May God go with you.”
she is crying as he gets up “But pastor, I don’t know anyone…”
“Go home and tell your family to help you, ”
“Ha..Papa will kill me first , Mama..hey what will she do. Pastor, is there no other way?”
he shakes his head

” The spirit of the Lord had revealed it to me, as a pastor , as your father in Christ I have come to tell you. Go home now and look for someone and begin, after two weeks you stop. You will see that no more sex again with the spirit husbands, your husband will come and everything will change.”
she cleans her eyes , ” Pastor, I don’t trust anyone else but you pastor”
Past smiled

“Sister…I am only a messenger ”
“Pastor I don’t trust anyone else but you sir, ”
“What do you want me to do sister? ”“You be the one to do it”
“but I can”t sister..I am a messenger ”
“and you understand it more , how do I go and begin to explain to a random stranger..please sir”
“Are you sure? ”
“Pastor Daddy, you said that is the only way”
He nods ,”Then I am sure” she says with the tears falling down her eyes
He smiles. ..Psychology 101.
“OK sister, I would have to embrace the characteristics of a man who is a christain but is having sex..that is the only way. and you have to enjoy it..or pretend to..That is the only way”
She nods, tears falling from her eyes she strips.
“let us pray. .close your eyes sister, don’t open it..let us pray ” she closes her eyes and begins to pray with him, answering an ‘Amen’ to his ‘In Jesus Name”
while he prayed, he unzips and rubs himself, then he nears her, fiddling with her breasts , turning her , he bends her , then praying even harder he slams into her, his tone changing , the tongue speaking enters into another dimension as his pace increases ..
Her eyes are closed, her constant

“Amens” are heard.
“Oh father my father…whwkaknsnkddkdnkddjnddb ahshdjsksksdjdjjd ahshdjsksksdjdjjd in Jesus Name !!”
“uhhh Ahhhhhh. .fxxxkshsjsjsaksjsjnnsnshit sweet sweet spajsbsbsbsbsbfxxk!!! in Jesus name”
“dhehehehh roll it baby ..Ahhhhhh uuhhhh fjsksjsnsbsb ohkombomhkoloptix ssssuuuuu ahhh hmmm yes yes yes yes …JESSUUUUUUSSSSS! !!”
“AMEN ” …
He jerks, jerks …slaps her bum..wriggles ..wriggles. ..jerks…

”Thank you Lord..thank you!!!”
He says pulling out. “Sister Ogbageli. .. We have started ..the battle is of the Lords ..thank you father . dress up sister . we shall continue tomorrow. watch it. from today…The spirit husbands will be reducing Amen!!” he zips up, cleaning his forehead with his hand, breathing hard, he picks up his bible and then begins to sing praises..
Sister Rose Ogbageli gathers her things, dresses up, thanks him and leaves…
it was just 9:30. she makes her way home, hoping her father isn’t back.

while she lays on her bed she is worried..worried that those spirit husbands would come..
she cries in her sleep..and prays…”God please let Pastor Daddy remove this curse from me. ‘”

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