Ps Dunamis Okunowo(KHC)
1. A head, not a headache
A man is supposed to be his wife’s head, not her headache. What is the head supposed to do? The eyes are located in the head, so one of the principal responsibilities of a man as the head is to cast a vision for the family and give direction as well. The mind is located in the head, so the man is supposed to be a thinker and be responsible.
Being the head does not mean she is subservient to you, for there is nothing the head can do alone. It is the body that holds the head and so the head needs the cooperation of the neck and the body to function in its assignment.
The husband provides leadership to his wife the way Christ does to his church, not by domineering but by cherishing. (Ephesians 5:23 Message)
There are some singles ladies in courtship that are already having sleepless nights by virtue of who they are involved with. This is not the plan of God for you, and when you see negative trends like that, the man is not likely to change after marriage. Don’t close your eyes to all the red light because you want to get married desperately.
2. A protector, not a manipulator
A man is supposed to be the protector of the lady, even in a dating situation. But what is rampart today is a brazen display of manipulation and high degree insincerity. We have men today who are not really interested in marriage but just in Jeru trap. As a lady, there is no point courting such a man because if you are not careful, he will soon have his way while you are left heartbroken. A manipulator knows how to feed your weaknesses just to get what he wants. A husband that manipulates knows how to logically blame the wife for everything.
3. A caring husband, not a scary one
There are wives that can’t talk in their matrimonial home. They are permanently muted. For such women, the fear of their husband is the beginning of wisdom! There are even ladies who are in courtship and they have no say. Now, this is very defective and it is not God’s order! The man that loves God and loves his family does not scare. You don’t rule your home with iron fist, you rule with love. A situation where the boy is playing football, but upon hearing the blast of dad’s car horn, dives through the window, the wife rushes to the kitchen to get food ready…. all because the lion of the tribe of his house has come! Children raised in this kind of atmosphere always rebel at the end. Be caring, rather than be scary!
4. A praying husband, not a preying one
It will interest you to know that every lady wants a spiritual man. Every lady wants a man that will wake her up to pray. Every lady wants a man that can lay hands on her and bless her. Now, you don’t have to be a pastor to do that. You only need to have a relationship with God.
5. A gardener, not a scavenger
Every woman is like a garden of treasures. When a gardener is through working on a garden, there is order. When a scavenger is through, there is disorder. A gardener nurtures, a scavenger ruptures! A gardener prepares the garden for productivity; a scavenger is looking for what’s in it for him. It is a whole world of difference! A scavenger wants to raid your garden and if as a single you are involved with one, it’s time you send him parking and close your gate!
6. A romantic husband, not a sarcastic one
Women love it when their husbands are romantic. All the things a man used to do and say while he is wooing them, they want it to continue. If the man is wise, he will oblige to that. Ladies don’t like abusive men, men who use them as joke objects all the time, identifying and poking at their weaknesses rather than emphasize their strengths! It is not a good idea when you are inspired to crack some dry jokes directed at your wife each time you see her! You will lose her gradually doing that!
Rather, learn her love language and speak that language! If what it will take for you to have a good home is to help her a little in the kitchen, then do it! As a young couple, I would bathe our boys from when they were just four days old! My wife loved that, so I took it upon myself to do that for all the boys till they were old enough to take care of themselves. Those were early years when I had not started writing devotionals and I had time in the mornings. Now, that may not resonate with you, and your wife might not even want to trust you with a four-day-old baby, but find something you can do to make her happy! That is how to be a man!
Ps Dunamis Okunowo(KHC)