The Prognosticator Episode 26


****** DEADLY ABORTION ****** .

Cnn: What did she say .

Me: she’s currently busy now, she promise to call when she’s less busy .

Tola: Thank you sir, but do you promise nothing bad will happen to me .

Me: Yes 101% assurance, even she (nurse Titi) said it in her conversation with me .

Cnn: I trust the nurse .

Me: Yeah she’s professional in this work .

Tola: Alright sir, i want it done as soon as possible my daddy would kill me if he finds out .

Me: Sure he’ll get mad at you, even your mum will also be disappointe in you .

Tola: Yes uncle pesman, she always warned me not to give birth out of wedlock .

Cnn: Thanks for helping me pesman, am very grateful .

Me: Stop this Bro, you don’t know how saccharin you’re to me . Tola served us breakfast of egg and bread with hot tea, immediately I finished the food my phone beeped , it was sms from nurse Titi, she sent me “Please call me I love you” I called her back asap .

Me: Hi nurse (put my phone on loud speaker) .

Nurse Titi: Hi pesman, I’m now free can we talk .

Me: Yes have been expecting your call for a while .

Nurse Titi: Am on now .

Me: Ok, how do we go about what I asked earlier .

Nurse Titi: The abortion? .

Me: Yes .

Nurse Titi: How do you want it? .

Me: Quickly .

Nurse Titi: Do you want it to be done here in hospital or in your house .

Me: Can you explain it better so I can choose .

Nurse Titi: If you want it done in hospital, you have one form to fill, you’ll need one guarantor that can stand for you, the person must be your relatives in case something bad happened, your wife’s parents would also sign, before the doctor can do anything on her, and you’ll pay the sum of seventeen thousand naira 17,000naira .

Me: Ok what of home service? .

Nurse Titi: I will be in charge of home service, you’ll pay me just 4k (four thousand naira ) without any form to fill or guarantor .

Cnn: Lets go for home service .

Me: I will go for home service .

Nurse Titi: Send the address ,I will be there by 4:30pm just be expecting me and tell her not to eat any solid foods .

Me: Thanks so much bye .

Nurse Titi: Bye ***hang up*** .

Hmmmm the terms and conditions of this doctor is too much, one guarantor, parents must sign, and with the sum of 17,000naira, haha is too much, because of abortion, just mere abortion that if you dilute “Bicarbonate soda” with lemon fruit or seven up together, the pregnancy will flush out instantly .

Tola: Pesman i don’t think I will go for abortion again .

Me: Why .

Tola: Don’t you think the doctors term is too high? .

Cnn: Too high .

Me: Yes brother, its too high .

Cnn: I think we should go for home service .

Me: I think so .

Tola: Don’t you think house service can backfire? .

Cnn: so your father is ready to stand as guarantor .

Tola: My dad must not hear of this .

Me: Let’s go for home service then, she’ll be here by 4:30, don’t be scared nothing bad will happen to you .

Tola: I pray so .

After we finalized the issue of abortion we agreed to go for home service,. Cnn and I went for my jamb registration, i registered successfully the school I choose are “University of Abuja” “Ahmadu Bello university Zaria (ABU)” “Fedpoly Offa” “Kaduna state polytechnic Kaduna” “Osun state college of education ilesha” “Osun state college of education ila”.

On our way back home cnn and i engaged in chat .

Me: I pray I pass this jamb o, because there is nothing in this head o ***Scratching my head*** .

Cnn: When did you leave secondary school, that makes you forget everything? .

Me: 2009 na moi-moi .

Cnn: You’ll pass by God’s grace .

Me: Have already passed, Dupe promise me that ***silence, pesman you be mumu o, do you wants to tell him who dupe is? *** .

Cnn: Dupe promise you what? .

Me: She said she’d be teaching me at home every evening (I lied) .

Cnn: You ain’t even ashamed of yourself woman for that matter .

Me: Not concerned you, it’s my cross lemme carry it alone .

Cnn: na you sabi o .

Me: That reminds me I called madam hadiza yesterday, I told her what you said i should tell her she was happy, even she said she’ll take me out for lunch today, in a very big restaurant am now a celebrity .

Cnn: What time? .

Me: I think around 4pm .

Cnn: Why 4pm .

Me: What happened to 4pm? .

Cnn: Have you forget of the nurse you called .

Me: ***Remembered*** Oh! What should i do now .

Cnn: please cross out the outing with her .

Me: But my presence isn’t needed by the time of abortion .

Cnn: If you’re not there Tola will not agree to do it, please you have to do this for me, call madam hadiza and tell her you’re at where you want to register jamb and people are much there so you’ll fix tomorrow with her .

Me: ***sad face*** .

Cnn: please pesman am begging you .

Me: No problem I will call her but I’ll not tell her am unable to register jamb, because she might know people that she can easily call to register it for me .

Cnn: What are you going to tell her now? .

Me: I’ll come up with something reasonable

Cnn: Thank you .

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“I called madam hadiza asap, she picked on first ring” .

Madam hadiza: Hi love .

Me: Good morning, how was your night? .

Madam hadiza: Fine and yours .

Me: I slept like a toy .

Madam hadiza: Laughed, thanks for wonderful replied you gave me yesterday, guess you don’t forget our deal? .

Me: Which of the deal, we have a lots of deals .

Madam hadiza: The lunch .

Me: That’s why I call .

Madam hadiza: To remind me I guess .

Me: Nope .

Madam hadiza: pesman don’t tell me you want to cancel the outing .

Me: Not intentionally, even am not happy with it .

Madam hadiza: ***With disappointed voice*** What happened .

Me: Erm Erm ***stammer*** actually my mother wants to send me on errands by 4pm and I don’t know when am returning home .

Madam hadiza: What of having breakfast with me? This morning .

Me: Am on my way to jamb registration Centre, let the outing be tomorrow please i beg of you .

Madam hadiza: it pain me o pesman .

Me: Likewise me, and am so sorry .

Madam hadiza: No whala tomorrow by what time .

Me: Same time .

Madam hadiza: 4pm .

Me: Yes .

Madam hadiza: Do I have your word? .

Me: Yes you do .

Madam hadiza: Ok no problem, have a wonderful day ahead .

Me: You too bye .

Madam hadiza: Bye ***Hang up*** .

Cnn: Thanks for this pesman, i know it’s not easy to sacrifice your time for me .

Me: You deserve more than this Bro, you have also sacrificed your time for me when I needed it most

***My phone rang that moment it brought out conversation to desist and forbear***

I looked at the screen the caller was no other person but the Queen of Zaria “Jameelah” I picked .

Me: Hi queen of Zaria .

Jameelah: Oh! Romantic pesman, I love the pet name you given to me, so romantic i love it .

Me: Queen of Zaria .

Jameelah: Yes I love it .

Me: That’s wonderful .

Jameelah: How was your night? .

Me: Fine and yours .

Jameelah: Sleepless .

Me: Why? .

Jameelah: thinking of you through the night, till day break, sleep eluded me .

Me: Sorry dear .

Jameelah: when are we seeing? .

Me: Thought we have a deal .

Jameelah: Evening right? .

Me: Yeah, just be expecting my call, but i don’t think we can meet in My house again .

Jameelah: Why? .

Me: My brother arrived from Lagos today and he’s with me in my house .

Jameelah: so let’s pick a venue then .

Me: Ok pick .

Jameelah: What of Prince “O” hotel? .

Me: it Ok by me .

Jameelah: Time .

Me: 5:30pm .

Jameelah: Deal or no deal? .

Me: Deal .

Jameelah: Thank Pes bye .

Me: Bye ***hang up*** .

“I think going on date with Jameelah by 5:30pm would be ok, once I had cancelled the previous date with madam hadiza, I pray nurse Titi act fast when dealing with Tola” .

Cnn: Who is princess of Zaria or what you called her .

Me: Queen of Zaria .

Cnn: Yes who is she? .

Me: Jameelah .

Cnn: Who is Jameelah again? .

Me: You don’t know anything, “Fayemi charm is working pesman is smiling” .

Cnn: Tell me more about her .

Me: I met her at Grace birthday party, she collected my number and we have been talking since then .

Cnn: Pesman be careful with girls .

Me: Have you forgotten your words? .

Cnn: Which of my words? .

Me: seven girlfriends at a time .

Cnn: I just said, I don’t mean it .

Me: But I want it to happen, am having five (5) now remaining two more .

Cnn: ***Surprised*** five? Who and who? .

Me: Dupe (Thought she’s not part of charmed babies I met her and madam hadiza b4 I went for the charm) madam hadiza, Christabel, Jameelah and nurse Titi .

Cnn: ***surprised*** Pesman who is nurse Titi? .

Me: The nurse I called for Tola’s abortion, I met her yesterday when we visited Abbey in the hospital .

Cnn: Stop lying Christabel is with us yesterday so when did you meet her that Christabel and I Don’t know? .

Me: Two of you don’t know, she wrote her number on a pieces of paper and gave it to me .

Cnn: ***hailing me*** Pesman pesman Babalawo himself .

Me: ***Smiling*** .

Cnn: So nurse Titi is now part of your game .

Me: Partially, because I haven’t asked her out, I will finish it today when she comes for Tola’s abortion .

Cnn: And she’s demanding 4k from her father in-law for abortion .

Me: Its her profession not yours let her do what she know how to do best .

Cnn: So abortion is what she knew how to do best .

Me: I don’t talk too much .

Cnn: Ok oo

When we reached CNN house, I sent address to nurse Titi (The abortion matron) .

******Fast Forward****** .

At exactly 4:52pm nurse Titi showed up in cnn room, she was putting on her white uniform, she was looking charming and beautiful. Her smile was killing when she revealed her gap tooth, I feel in love with her instantata, even cnn admiring her, she walked in and hugged me like her boyfriend phased because of my supernatural cream.

She gave Tola two (2) injections and warned her not to go out and not to stay far from toilet because the injections will take effect on her soon, cnn also gave her the requested money of 4k. I saw her off without knowing we have written invitation letter to trouble and our invitation has been accepted. . Hmmmm pesman .

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To be continued