The Prognosticator Episode 19



My phone rang for the second time, I was shaking like jelly fish. “I wasn’t ready for Dupe predicament” “No doubt she had found out am meeting with madam Hadiza” “And this bae love me o” “I also love her’ Nothing will happen jare, I summoned courage to pick the call after third rings .

Me: Hello .

Dupe: Where do you keep your phone? .

Me: I was in toilet when you called (I lied ) .

Dupe : I thought as much .

Me: Absolutely .

Dupe : Better .

Me: You called .

Dupe : Do I not entitled to call my man? .

Me: Sure you are, and you can anytime,anywhere,anyday you like .

Dupe : So why questioning? .

Me: I thought we have talked today. .

Dupe : And so? .

Me: Am sorry .

Dupe : Where are you? .

Me: With cnn .

Dupe : say me well to him .

Me: Delivered .

Dupe : Have you eaten? .

Me: Yes, how is work? .

Dupe: Fine .

Me: Hope its not too stressful? .

Dupe: Not yet, you know we just opened, people are yet to patronise us .

Me: They are coming .

Dupe: We believed, so where are you planning to go now? .

Me: Am going nowhere .

Dupe: Peslier .

Me: Itumo (Meaning) .

Dupe:Tell me, where are you planning to go? .

Me:Oh! I remembered CNN and I wants to go and greet Abby in hospital .

Dupe: Perfect, but you haven’t talked yet .

Me: That’s all baby .

Dupe: Hmmm pesman I just want you to know that kosi ohun ti opamo labe orun (There is no secrets under the sun) .

Me: I don’t understand .

Dupe: You will not, pesman I will Call you back get customers to attend to now

***Hangs up*** .

“I knew it” “I know she had found out” “Aje omo (witch)” “You cannot kill me” “I will visit madam hadiza and nothing would happened” .

Cnn: *** Faced me*** Dupe called you? .

Me: Yes .

Cnn: Have been suspecting that girl, she was Posses under evils sprites, she always called you whenever you are about to embark on any mission .

Me: She is not posessed Bro, its coincidence .

Cnn: If you say so, ogbeni call madam hadiza jor .

Me: OK sir ***Dialed her number, she picked on fourth rings*** .

Madam hadiza: Hi love .

Me: Hi .

Madam hadiza: How are you doing? .

Me: Am doing great .

Madam hadiza: Are you on the way? .

Me: No am not .

Madam hadiza: ***With disappointed voice*** pesman but why? Have been expecting you here for the past 30minute .

Me: I will soon be on my way, but on one condition .

Madam hadiza: what condition is that? .

Me: ***Looked at cnn, he signalled me to voice out*** we will meet in your house not in Supermarket .

Madam hadiza: why do you preferred my house? .

Me: You know in supermarket, you might have a lots of customers to attend to, I don’t think you would have proper time for me, and we have a lots to discuss, have been longing for this for so long .

Madam hadiza: pesman tell me it’s a lie .

Me: Am serious, can’t wait to see you .

Madam hadiza: Woow that’s great, What do you suggest we do now? .

Me: To meet in your house, can we? .

Madam hadiza: Your wish is my command, you have My word pesman .

Me: That’s amazed, send address .

Madam hadiza: Sure I will, as soon as I hanged up this call .

Me: Yeah .

Madam hadiza: What do you care for? .

Me: Don’t tell me you are not fasting? .

Madam hadiza: pesman we ain’t in the month of Ramadan .

Me: Thought you are a Muslim? .

Madam hadiza: Yeah I am from kaduna .

Me: You have to fast today then .

Madam hadiza: Because? .

Me: Today is Monday .

Madam hadiza: Allah Akbar (God is great) Monday and Thursday fasting? .

Me: Yes you know its sunah of prophet Muhammad (S. W. A) and we must follow him .

Madam hadiza: Thanks for this dear .

Me: *** You think am fasting? Hmmm I wasn’t fasting. I willingly brought that topic, so I won’t be poisoned in her house, you have to be very careful when dealing with eminent women, only God knows the sources of their wealth omi adagun kiki idoti (A pond filled with dirty )*** you welcome ma .

Madam hadiza: see you soon dear .

Me: Yeah

***Hangs up*** .

Cnn: ***Faced me *** What does she said? .

Me: You won’t believe she agreed to meet in her house .

Cnn: Gba fun oga e (bow for your Boss) .

Me: You are a good boss, your brain is active .

Cnn: I know it would worked out .

Me: Perfectly .

Cnn: Yeah, now Dupe chapter has been closed .

Me: na so Bro, all thanks to you .

Cnn: No be me o, Na God. That remind me you haven’t tell me about the birthday .

Me: The birthday didn’t end well .

Cnn: What happened? .

Me: Even Abbey is in hospital as am talking to you .

Cnn: ***Shocked ***What happened to Abbey? .

Me: Bottle was smashed on his head. .

Cnn: Yeeee by who? .

Me: Unknown bottlemen .

Cnn: Abbey is too stupid, he too like arguments, so what brings the argument? .

Me: Its not an argument .

Cnn: Then what led to fight? .

Me: Its not a fight .

Cnn: Tell me what happened then .

Me: Abbey is the celebrant’s boyfriend .

Cnn: Na Sandra dey do birthday? .

Me: No na Grace, dey just meet not too long .

Cnn: OK, go on .

Me: We were called to the front for cutting of the cake, we were about to cut it when I heard Gbos! Gbos!! Gbos!!! .

Cnn: What was that? .

Me: Bottle was smashed on his head, he fainted immediately, we carried him to hospital sha .

Cnn: Oga Ooo (it’s a pity ) Thank God I wasn’t at the party who knows what might be happening to me .

Me: According to Christabel, grace Ex was behind it .

Cnn: Who is Christabel? .

Me: The girl we met at emeka boutique .

Cnn: You have been talking with her? .

me: We attended the party together

***A text entered my phone, it was madam hadiza house address *** she had sent the address I have to start going now .

Cnn: Pesman use your head, don’t fall my hand o .

Me: Don’t worry Bro, see you soon

***Walked out of his room***

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I knocked on the gate for about five times before one elderly man opened it for me, The man was looking like 59 to 62years to me, he put on a uniform, that kind of firstbank security uniform, with my sense of humor I concluded he was the house gate man. He was talking to me with strong accent Yoruba Dialect . .

Gate man: What can I do for you? .

Me: Good morning sir, actually am looking for madam hadiza .

Gate man: From where? .

Me: From this noble town,she gave me appointment .

Gate man: When? .

Me: Have spoke with her on phone this morning .

Gate man: She said you should come? .

Me: Baba eje kin wole (let me in) .

Gate man: Madam is not around .

Me: Pardon! .

Gate man: She just went out not too long .

Me: Impossible, not too long i spoke with her .

Gate man: Young man, better respect yourself, I said madam is not around .

Me: Hey baba, no open eyes for me oo, I said she called me to come, you’re asking me annoying questions here .

Gate man: Don’t worry, you will stay long here ***He shut the gate on my face*** .

Me: *** Felt embarrassed that moment *** “this man really embarrassed me” “The whole pesman” “This man don’t know me sha” “Don’t worry i will soon become your oga in this house”.

I brought out my phone to call madam hadiza. .

Madam hadiza: Hi love don’t you come again? .

Me: I was at your gate for the past an hour, your gate man don’t let me in .

Madam hadiza: Haa sorry dear, he’s working on order .

Me: You suppose to tell him you are having visitor .

Madam hadiza: Sorry dear, he would let you in now .

Me: Too late, am on my way back home .

Madam hadiza: why nah, please don’t do this to me, am deeply sorry, please turn back .

Me: Tell your gate man to opened the gate wide before I reach .

Madam hadiza: He would opened it, Thanks dear

***Hanged up*** .

I stood at akimbo looking at the gate, 7min later the gate threw opened I walked in, eyed the gate man, I walked to the door and rang the bell. You can come in, woman voice replied me from inside, i opened the door and walked in. Standing before me was a woman of about 45 to 47years of age, if I wasn’t miscalculated ,he wore blue gown with gold necklace on her neck, her wrist watch and scent of perfume coming from her was incredible, random thought began running on my mind “Finally finally you are now in front of madam hadiza” “what’s gonna happen now” “This woman is very rich o” “Omo see house” “See the living room” “I never entered beautiful house like this in my life o” “This woman is beautiful o, she looks like under 20” “chai money good o” “Wait o this woman no get husband ” ” “What of her children(s)” “Abi na ritualist she be” ” I Don enter am” “make this woman no use me for ritual” “Shey na only her and gate man dey live this big house” “God I dey your hand o” “Make I no regrets coming here oo”.

Madam hadiza brought me back from the journey of thinking .

Madam hadiza: Hmmm **cleared throat** .

Me: Hmmm ***I quickly set my phone on recording as suggested by cnn*** .

Madam hadiza: Welcome to my castle .

Me: Thank you ma. .

Madam hadiza: Have your seat .

Me: ***sat down*** .

Madam hadiza: What can i offer you? .

Me: Thought I told you am on fasting .

Madam hadiza: That show you are practising Muslim .

Me: Yeah, Devoted one .

Madam hadiza: That’s good .

Me: Have been longing for this day to come .

Madam hadiza: Really? .

Me: And thanks for what you’ve been doing in my life .

Madam hadiza: Like? .

Me: Paying my hospital Bill and secured my freedom from police custody .

Madam hadiza: it’s nothing .

Me: I am very grateful Ma, have been thinking of how to come and says thank you .

Madam hadiza: Let Skip that dear .

Me: Alright, you sent for me? .

Madam hadiza: Actually pesman, it’s been long have been snitches on you, anytime I see you I don’t get myself .

Me: ***Pretending*** What do you mean .

Madam hadiza: I cannot hide my feelings for you again, I have to say it out now, pesman I want to have you by my side .

Me: You want me to be working in your supermarket right? .

Madam hadiza: ***Moved closed to me, she begin caress my hand*** Not that, what I have for you is pure and real, and I am ready to take care of you .

Me: But why me of all people? .

Madam hadiza: ***Caress my hair*** pesman you cannot know what I see in you, am in love with you ***kisses me, Door bell rang that moment*** .

Me: Someone is at Your door .

Madam hadiza: Who is there? .

Voice: ***lady voice*** me ma .

Me: ***Send the voice in to my medulla oblongata polarity for scanning 10% 20% 50% 80% 100%

Result: This voice is 90% of Dupe’s voice*** .

Madam hadiza: Don’t you have a name? .

Voice: The sale girl you employed this morning .

Madam hadiza: Dupe right? .

Voice: Yes .

Me: ***Mogbe (am doomed) Dupe finally followed me here, what do i do now? My secrets has finally leaked out, what will be my explanation to Dupe? Pesman you are in trouble*** .

Madam hadiza: OK am coming (Because door was closed, she stood up to open the door for her) .

Me: Ermm Ermm (stammer) please can I make use of your toilet? .

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To be continued