So some few months ago, I went to India to honour and chair two conferences there.
I took the opportunity to learn more about the people of India also took time to satisfy my curiosity on some of the things I heard about the country India.
On one of my free days, I spent great moments with my host and brother, A “CEO” of a well renowned organisation in India. Not only him but with the company of one other great pal I have come to love for his intellect. For the purpose of this article, let me refer to the “CEO” as Rahj and my other friend as Yussif. They were all Indians, Rahj stays in New Delhi and Yussif at Karela.
At one of our outings, Rahj asked if I had a Girlfriend and I answered “Yes, I do have a girlfriend, she is one of Nigria’s wonderful and Amazing lady any man can ever wish for.” There were amazement and surprise on their face. So we spent quality time eating and talking about other stuffs.
We went out again for lunch and do the movies later that day and Yussif suggested we go for a body massage. I told him I am tired for a massage and that maybe some other time we can do that. Rahj and Yussif now burst into heavy laughter, I was wondering what has gone wrong. Yussif asked, do you know the kind of massage we are talking about that you say you are tired for it? I told him to explain it to me for I have no idea that is. Rahj now suggested we go to the Spa and I will get to know of it.
Yussif: Hello, we need a massage.Spa Attendant: OK. Is it for all of you or only you, because we have some Zimbabwean ladies here who can really massage the black man. (racism detected)
My eyes kept tangling and wrangling in my eye balls wondering what is going on.
I think I have a clue now what they mean by a massage. Aaah well, your guess is as good as mine.
We came back home, Rahj came to sit by me, and asked, “So if you do anything, probably have sex around, what will happen to you? “
I told him, I am just not interested and I want to remain faithful to my girl. He emphasized, “but your girlfriend is far away Africa, how will she see it? ” I replied, “It is the more reason why she will see it. If you care to know, our ladies are goodness and they see far more than anyone can see so I won’t commit myself. I may follow pleasure and have sex today, but trust me, right after the sex, her call will come in congratulating me on a good sex well done.” Rahj kept wondering how that can happen because to him Africa is very far from India and so is Nigeria. But we Africans know as a Myth that our girlfriends and wives spirit follows as everywhere we go and to them, it is never about distance, play the fool and she will lash your psyche for the rest of your life.
That is a stereotype I carried along with me, but trust me, play the fool and your girlfriend or wife will come telling you my instincts tells me you haven’t been faithful, she will now start stocking you till you are caught. Let me just end here.
Written By: Akwasi Boakye