The Coffin Maker Episode 38

0
242

Eno Bruwaa and her daughter walk majestically to the lotto agent and when they saw Opana standing by the kiosk they sarcastically started making some irritating comments.

Eno Bruwaa’s Daughter

Hmmmm, some people won the war but we won the battle, they thought when they eject us from our room we will sleep under the bridge but their plans have backfired back to them.

Eno Bruwaa

Oh say it again my daughter, we were thrown out unlawfully but the God we serve who is not like man redeemed himself for us, the stone that the builder rejected has now turned into the cornerstone.

Eno Bruwaa’s Daughter

This is what I call from grass to grace, enemies can never be God oooo.

Eno Bruwaa

Papa lotto agent, good afternoon, I hope you are fine? Well, I and my daughter here are coming to redeem our money from this winning lotto paper. It is a very heavy amount paa oooo.

Lotto Agent

Mmm let me see the lotto coupon and the date on it Eno Bruwaa.

Eno Bruwaa

Oh you can have a look papa lotto agent, today is going to be today. When you give me the money I will paint this town blue and make sure I acquire my own land and build my own house but won’t bother my tenants.

Lotto Agent

Eno Bruwaa I didn’t see you here at my office yesterday and the amount in question looks like the one my friend here stake that we debating about.

Opana

What do you mean massa, the truth is that my coupon got missing yesterday. So let me see if it is mine or not.

Eno Bruwaa

Hehehe, papa lotto agent, I gave you my lotto paper so make sure you don’t give it out to anyone who might tear my paper into pieces out of jealousy.

Lotto Agent

But Eno Bruwaa, all my life in this lotto business you have never stake lotto which is more than five cedis before and for this lotto coupon the amount on it is two hundred and fifty cedis and the surprising thing is that this man here is the only person who stakes that amount the whole of yesterday, the biggest amount that another person stake yesterday was twenty cedis so please be a Christian and hand over the coupon to the rightful owner.

Opana

Massa, God bless you for your wise counsel and elevate you from a lotto kiosk to a lotto container.

Eno Bruwaa

May thunder from hellfire the mouth you used to speak to me papa lotto agent. Wipe your mouth on the ground for your mouth to be cleaned from that nonsense that came out from your mouth.

Eno Bruwaa’s Daughter

Heeeeeeh I don’t want to spark over here for some people to say am disrespectful ooo. Please sir, my mother gave something to you so kindly attend to her and give us our money so we leave here in peace. We are in rags so we have decided not to involve ourselves in games that will thorn our dress, please in the name of God kindly give us the winning price so we go our way quietly.

Lotto Agent

But madam what you are saying, you know from your heart that you are not been honest so why don’t you……

Eno Bruwaa

(cuts in rudely) How dare you call me a liar or a thief, I brought my lotto paper to redeem the winning money am supposed to take from this place and you sit in this dilapidated kiosk to tell me nonsense. Don’t make me go naked and curse you.

Lotto Agent

Please ooo, let me get you your money so you go with your wahala but mind you some taxes has been deducted from the money you are expecting to get.

Opana

What? Why are you going to give her the money that you are supposed to give to me? Do you expect me to understand this cheap prank you and this witch are planning to play on me?

Eno Bruwaa’s Daughter

I beg your pardon sir, I won’t stand here for you to call my mother names. Have you finished addressing the witches in your house before you will call my mum a witch? Please respect yourself before I say or do something here that you won’t like, Mr lotto agent, kindly release our money for us now so that we leave this place.

Lotto Agent

Okay give me a second for me to sort you out.

Opana

Sort them out for what reason? This is going to be over my dead body, who works in Ghana Commercial Bank and takes his or her salary from the Agricultural Development Bank. My friend if you don’t want any bloody issue here don’t make any stupid move.

Lotto Agent

So, what is all this wahala this hot afternoon? Please you people if you have any problem go and solve it at your end because I don’t want any problem here from you people, I came to work so please let me do my work in peace. My wife is heavily pregnant and I don’t want to get any problem which will affect her so please in the name of God go and solve your problem in peace.

Opana

(raising his voice for people around to hear what was going on)

Herh, people will die here if care is not taken ooo, massa am a very wicked and diabolic person so you better judge this issue fairly because if you try anything dubious with this gossip over here, I will send you to your early grave. If I go to the person who circumcises people and I decide not to cut my p***s again does he have to seize my pant? Hw3 if you try anything funny I will kill you people and nothing will happen after.

Eno Bruwaa

Opana or whatever you call yourself you are deceiving yourself, am not equally good like you but it was because of something that is why I have been living like a sheep in your house, I am a hungry wolf inside so please don’t try me, I will stand here and fight you till the last drop of blood.

Eno Bruwaa’s Daughter

Mama, relax for this battle is not for you to fight; am here, so relax. If you don’t know why am called Afia Siribuor go and ask and they will tell you about me in Kejetia market. Hw3 for money issue no one jokes with it ooo

Meanwhile back at Opana’s living room Akua Yankey had served her children with their lunch and as they were eating a call came through Kwaku Mike’s phone.

On Phone:

Caller

Mikey Darling the ladies man.

Michael Ansah

Hey stop that nonsense my guy, those days are gone and I don’t even have a single bird in my cage for now even.

Caller

Herh this one I won’t believe you for even a second, you the ladies man that nice girls use to fight over you on campus?

Michael Ansah

Well, time changes and things are not like they used to be, moreover am not in the city where the girls know what’s up. Charlie what they go on for the city inside.

Caller

Well, I called you on a serious note, do you remember a girl called Juliana Ohenewaa Dotse?

Michael Ansah

No, I don’t remember any such person like that.

Caller

Oh Mickey have you forgotten that smallish girl with nice curves who liked red lipsticks and was always having problems with lecturers and I once told you that she is crushing on you but you didn’t even give her face?

Michael Ansah

I’m trying to remember her now but what about her?

Caller

Herh, the girl make fine rough, you know when she stopped school in the second year she travelled to the States and just yesternight she sent me a friend request on Facebook and when I accepted her friend request she sent me a message that she wants your number.

Michael Ansah

My friend, stop this concert and be serious.

Caller

Ah, do you think I called you to play pranks on you or what? I gave her your number and she said she will get in touch with you soon and that she will be coming to Ghana in some few days time.

Michael Ansah

Guy, are you for real? You know some jokes are expensive and I am not a fan of such things.

Caller

You better believe it and get yourself ready to move to Accra because from the little chat I had with her, she is a big girl with connections now and I believe she can help us with the business we want to do.

Michael Ansah

How is she going to help us in our business, my guy?

Caller

My friend, look sharp and count your teeth with your tongue, if she calls you before she flys back to Ghana, plead with her to buy us some cameras and machines we will use in setting up our small media business. Even if she won’t buy if for us for free we will work and pay her if she gives us a little time.

Michael Ansah

My guy you have spoken well ooo, you am waiting for her call and if she does I will enter into her defence and get her on our side. You know how I do my thing.

Caller

I trust you, my guy, for women issues you are five star General so I leave everything in your hand and please try and come to the city as soon as possible, you know where you will sleep won’t be a problem.

Michael Ansah

I hear you, my landlord to be, I will join you very soon in the city, the old girl wants me to do something for her so we will talk later when the chick calls me. Stay safe and be a good boy.

Caller

Hahahaha, see who is talking about good boy issue, Charlie safe am out. (call drops)

Akua Yankey

Instead of you to eat your food you have been on phone discussing God knows what, it seems someone is at the door so go and check it as your sister clears the table.

At the door:

Michael Ansah

Yeah, how can I help you, young lady?

Young Lady

(panting for breath) Mm…Mmmm…Mmmm your father is in a heated argument with an elderly woman and her daughter at the lotto kiosk close to his workplace and if you don’t rush there to calm him down the argument, it might graduate to a bloody brawl over there.

Michael Ansah

Jesuuuuuus Christ!!! Thanks very much for the information, my mother and I will rush to that place now.

Young Lady

Don’t mention, I did this because I like you so much and I don’t want anything bad to happen to your family, I will see you later (walks away)

Michael Ansah

(screaming on top of his voice) Mummy your husband is in a fight out there and am told if you don’t rush to the place early, someone’s blood will pour.

Akua Yankey

Hey, where is he and what might be his reason for fighting someone in his old age now.

Who will win the battle at the end of the day, is it Opana or Eno Bruwaa and her Daughter?