4 Months past, and I grew so much in love with Ackim, everytime i saw Him my heart felt vulnerable. Even just him shake my hand or giving me a hug made me wanna cling to him and scream my heart out.. “I love you!”
But I had come to learn that in African culture it was kind of off for a woman to tell a man who had not proposed you loved them and from what I noticed with Ackim he was a man who preferred him going after a woman and not the other way round.
I had seen how Shila the house keeper at the lodge always flirt around him but he showed no interest in her, not only her but other women too. Especially at the office in the mine, he completely ignored any lady that acted in a way to lure him. so I gathered well, let me not rush myself.
I was believing he didn’t have interest in me, like he was always taking me more of a job than a woman. He was always concerned about my well being and nothing more, it hurt me a lot that my efforts to show him I considered him more than my body guard failed
I recall one day we sat together watching some movie, dad was out. I saw he wasn’t even interested in the movie but he stayed on just to make sure I went to sleep before him. I tried telling him to go and rest but he insisted he wanted to finish the movie too.
I deliberately dozed off and moved closer to him placing my head on his shoulders. He didn’t make any movements. His eyes fixed on the TV. I withdrew later on frustrated and went to bed before the movie could even finish.
“What is wrong with him?” I asked myself upset.” am I not that attractive or maybe he doesn’t just like me?” I fall asleep feeling sad.
The following morning I called my friend from UK. I told her about Ackim and the strong feelings I had for him.
“Oh my God Paula” she had said.” if the guy have the looks you are telling me and he’s the one your heart longs for. Then go for him girl you have nothing to lose. At least try and when you find he’s not intrested then you move on” she suggested. .“Plus someone here is still longing to have you, in case all that fails” she went on referring to my ex boyfriend..
“Oh no i won’t go back to that womanising jerk” i told her.. “remember he still goes out with that stupid girlfriend of his . Oh please don’t even mention his name, am better off alone than with that lying and cheating jerk just because he has it all, money and looks. No Thank you!” i shouted raising my hands as we chated on a video call.
So I kind of followed my friend’s advice and I decided to comfront Ackim. I was suspecting he was in some kind off afair with my Secretary but since I had only seen her from home where i had been working from for months, I had no proper conclusion they were together. I just had to try my lucky.
It was not easy for a person like me who had wealthy and beauty to find love, every man I met seemed more scared of my status and never dared to come any closer. so I felt really lonely.
Every guy I felt attracted to ended up being far from me. This time i wasn’t going to let the one that my heart beats for just slip through my hands.
I called him one day when he walked in holding a file. I wore a bum short and lifted my legs on the couch deliberately. I did some proper make up and let my long hair lose around my neck . I knew I looked hot
However, when Ackim stopped after I called him, it seemed I wasn’t looking the way i thought I did. He didn’t even look straight at my face.
“come sit here.” I called him and he excused himself to put the file in his room.
I threw the small pillow I was holding at the wall feeling rejected but I was determined to face him. So , when I noticed almost 5 minutes had passed and Ackim wasn’t out of his room yet I stood up and walked to his room before I could debate myself out of the idea..
I didn’t even knock, I just pushed his white bedroom door open and entered. There he was standing his hands in the pockets. I looked beyond him his file was on the table. I glanced back at Ackim his calm face staring at me without giving me clues of what he was thinking about.
“Mmmn” I started..
“I see you are still putting the file” I teased..
“I um um …am sorry I was just about to head to you” he stammered..
“but since you are already here am sure you can tell me why you called me. do you want to go somewhere? I can escort you?” He asked quickly.
I let a laugh.
“Ackim you are unbelievable, so you mean all i am to you is work right?” I asked seriously.
He kept quite and I felt bad.
” tell me, am I not beautiful enough for you? Or am not your type?” I asked sounding pissed.
“No no no..!” he said coming close. “Paula you are very beautifull and attractive too. Don’t ever think otherwise. But why are you upset with me?” he asked..
Sounding so stupid like a child.
I couldn’t take it any more. It was clear the guy had nothing for me so without another word I walked out and ran to my room tears falling from my face.
Ackim followed me and before I could close the door he steped in..
” Paula are you okey?” He asked concerned.
“just leave me alone!” I screamed laying on my bed. He stood by the door way and watched me for a minute. He wanted to say something but i screamed at him again and he slowly walked out closing the door.
That night I cried myself to sleep my heart broken.
To be continued