_*(its worth reading)*_
Written BY: Oyekunle LIzzy Oyebola
_(A Whatsapp Group conversation)_
A- Hello fam, good morning ?
B- Good morning babes. How was your night??
C- Mine was great o?
A- Mine too. Glory be to God
B- The Lord is good o. I have a testimony Family ?
C: Hey… ? God of Our group is doing wonders! He has done it again!
D- ? Good morning Family,….? how many of you are tuned to your television sets?
B- I am at work o.. No TV… ?
C- I am in church actually
D- C, you are in the church? How is it going? ?…is everything alright?
C: Sure! The pastor is preaching. Its boring though, so I’m chatting..hehehehe…God forgive me ?
A- But, what’s the problem D?☹
D: Ah, I guess it has happened o sisters! ? My mum had a bad fever yesternite and I slept with her on the same bed, my hands wrapped her all night
D: When I woke up this morning, my hands were still wrapped round something but it was only her blouse and wrapper ooo….?
D: I have searched everywhere to no avail ooooo…..???
B: You know what, search more please, the Lord will take charge?
A: ???????Mama T is typing o… good!
Mama T: sighs May she be found in Jesus’ name ?. Please, prayer unit, let us take note ✍. It is well
C: ?♀?♀?♀?♀?♀?♀?♀?♀?♀Ah! Something is wrong oooooo!???? ??
Mama T: ? What is that?
C: It is time for offering collection ooo but the chief usher can’t be found ?….though his shoes, clothes, wristwatch and offering bags are on his seat… ?????? Ah, I don’t seem to get.
Mama T: Ah! ?
D: ?? that’s what I am saying ooooo….ah…it’s even on the news now that there are sudden disappearances everywhere!
Sister J: ? Good morning everyone. Are we not in church this morning that we are chatting like this?
Mama T: I am in church o, although I came to use the toilet ?
Sister J: ? Hello fam, we need to be praying for our government ooo…people have just been disappearing anyhow….thank God none of my family has been kidnapped anyways.?? ?? May God keep us ooo
D: ? I don’t think it’s the government ooo!…
A: What then??
B: Then what??
Mama H: Ladies…ah! ?????Morning ooooo….the rapture has taken place ooooooo ???
B: Issalie! ?
C: It’s not possible oooo…how come my pastor didn’t make it? What of Mama T and Mama H See, sister J too? ????…please, lets be confirming things before broadcasting it please!?? That itself is sin!??
Mama T: ??? Sisters, I guess it has happened really!? I guess it’s the rapture. The bible says it would come in a twinkling of an eye, like a thief unannounced, fast like the movement of light!?♂?
D: But, what could have happened that you didn’t make it to heaven mama if that’s the case? ??
Mama T: ?? I don’t deserve to o…I am Mama ooo but I have been sleeping with my fiancee since the inception of our relationship! ??
A: ?? Its a lie!
B: Unbelievable! ?
E:??? My sisters, my babes, don’t be scared at all. No disappearance occurred in my own church o and as far as I am concerned my church is one of the best gospel-upholding churches in Nigeria. Lemme send you a voice note of our ongoing spirit filled worship service sef??
C: ? Eyes Waiting
Mama T: ☹
VOICENOTE: Somebody scream!…..huuuuuuuuuu…halleluyah! We go dey hail, hail, hail, hail, hail your name, day by day, all the way, all the way…come on, azonto for Jesus everybody! Yahoo to our heavenly father!….halleluyah…we go dey hail….
Mama H: ? Hmmmm…so, E, if it is not rapture, it is what?☹
E: My pastor just explained now when the panic became great that it was just an invasion of the aliens as it had been foretold by the scientists for how many years now mama…don’t be scared jhur!?
Mama T: Ah! That’s heresy! That’s falsehood!?????
E: My pastor wouldn’t have preached lies ma.Would you have missed it too if rapture had taken place?
Mama H: ?? Sadly, I would have! B actually said something to me last week that was so disrespectful to me and since then I had said I would intentionally avoid her chats. I had her in mind
B: ?? Wow! Mama, why didn’t you tell me? Actually, F and G told me so so so and so about you and Mama T, since then, I had decided to steer clear of you both too and make your administration hell! I am sorry mama!??
Mama T: ?? My goodness! Sister B!
Mama H: ? Wonders shall never end
G: ????? Hello everyone, I have a confession to make ooooo
G: The salvation experience we were asked to be sharing on Saturdays, it had been a lie for me oooo. I just decided to cook up something for the session to be interesting. I haven’t really experienced what salvation is. I just said my mind oooo….???? Plus, my brother too can’t be found!
D: Lord Jesus!???
I: ????? Good morning babes ooooo…ah, ?????the apostle of our time is gone oooooo! During the service today, our general overseer suddenly disappeared oooo….the mic fell off! ?????
J: True! ?????? Gone into the heavenlies!…ahhh!???
K: Ah! This can’t be happening!??
F: ??????? My doctor just disappeared oooo…please help me tell the whole house to pray for me so that I won’t die! I am in the theatre but my doctor has disappeared…I am left just open like that, everyone has fled but I can’t! ??
Mama H: ? hospital? left open? What are you doing in the hospital Sister F?
F: ??? I just had an abortion! My fourth abortion! Pray to God to have mercy on me! ????
E: Sister F!??
Mama T: ??? See, no need exclaiming babes! It is sure we have missed the rapture! ?? What else can we do? What else? ????
Mama H: Ah! Oh no! ??? Why have I preached to others and then I would be a cast away? ??Why?…oh Lord!???
Mama P: ????Good morning ooooo
L: ????? Mama P, you didn’t make it too ??
Mama P: ☹☹This is her cousin o…please, we can’t find Mama P oooo….Please let’s pray ooo…her undies and clothes and bag were on the seat beside me in church, but we can’t find her…many other people as well…please, they said your prayer works, help us pray oooo??????
Mama T: Ah!???Mama P made it! ???? Ah! I missed it! Oh Lord! Oh Lord!????????????
M: But mama, what can be done now? Lets try to organize a discussion on something that can be done! ??
Mama T:? Its too late Sister M! Its too late!
M: Ah! ? And its because of Porn ooo…and I begged God to help me oooo….see now! ? ?… Porn stopped me! Masturbation stabbed me!
N: No remedy! ????
O: So, what next after this phase? What next? ???????
Mama H: Sniffs It’s going to be 7 years of the reign of the Antichrist! ???
Mama T: ?We would have 3 and a half years of plenty and surplus and then three years of pain and tumult!??
Q: Ah! ???? How come I had never heard about this before? How come? ?
R: You attend a modern church now…all they preach to you is prosperity and miracles and tongues and deliverance! ☹? You didn’t attend a church where the word is being preached!
S: Hisses Imagine! You that attended the Holier than thou church Sister R, how did you manage to still remain with us? How come the Word you know didn’t save you????
R: ??? ??? Oh my God! I can’t believe I missed it oooooo! Ah!
Mama T: The period of His mercy is over!???
T: Ah! Oluwa mi ooooooo!???…..ah!?? I had always preached it! I had been persecuted for my faith long enough yet, I am going to the same hell with my persecutors????
U: Ah! As in! With yahoo boys, armed robbers, prostitutes, gangsters, ah! ?How I kept myself holy! ?Of what use is my virginity and the decent dressing and going to church when we are going to the same hell? ? Eh? How did I miss it Lord? Could it be because of my Pride? Because of my self righteousness? Because of my criticisms of which church is good and which one is bad? Could it be?????
V: Oh how the whole congregation of over five thousand people fell on their faces while I ministered at the concert I organized yesterday! Oh how they wept bitterly when I sang with passion , ‘If you miss heaven you’ll cry!’?????????????
W: ???I should have known! ???? Ah ah! When all these things were happening, I should have known! When we now have LGBT churches for lesbians, gays, bisexuals and transgenders, I should have known! When, government upon government, things are getting worse and worse, I should have known! When wonderful singers of evergreen songs are declaring themselves gay, I should have known! When a popular person could stand up in the midst of the congregation to say Jesus is not the way to heaven but one of the ways! I should have known! When things are getting worst and worst, I should have known! Bomb blasts here and there every time, I should have known! War in Syrian today, Iraq tomorrow, Pakistan, the next, I should have known! I should have known! Going to hell with Boko Haram jihadists, with unbelievers! With Pharaoh! With Jezebel! Ah! I should have known…The times were at the corner…I should have known!??????????
Y: The times are here now! ???The Book of Life is closed! ???
Z: Ah! Fire oooooo! Ah! So, like, I would miss it and go to hell? Seriously?….ah! ??????????
Mama T: We might not eventually go to hell after this o. ?
D: That would be great!??
Mama T: If we can struggle not to get the marks 666, we could be saved!??
J: AH! That’s all? Wipes tears I will do it! I don’t want the marks!
Mama H: It’s not as easy as that o Sister J! ☹
K: Ah ah! Why nah??
Mama T: At first, Jesus died and shed His blood for us. The blood was free for us! Without the shedding of Blood, there is no remission of sin! We would have to buy our own salvation now with our blood! ??
K: What! Ah!????
L: I can do anything oooo…I can! I must make that heaven!?
Mama H: The problem is that if under grace and mercy, we could not just stop doing some things because of temporal pains, what of now that mercy is gone, grace is withdrawn? Can we really go through the pains of having our eyes gouged out, our hands broken, our skin torn, our head smashed, our intestines spilt…..can we???…. ??????
J: I am crying LOrd, I have missed Heaven! I have missed the rapture! Ah!?????????
S: And my pastors warned me oooo…that I should stop relationship with bad friends…I thought I could handle them but now they have handled me! they have thrown me to hell! I was warned????
R: ???? See, there is no use beating the dead horse ehn!….Please our mamas and our sisters, could you start sensitizing us on how it would be? Teach us about the tribulation period, about antichrist, about God’s wrath! About 666, tell us please, tell us….??????????????????
The chat continues……
My friends, in that whatsapp group, many of them missed it!
Whether we like it or not, what was typed here will happen somewhere, SOMETIME SOON!
For you, you don’t hear such preaching in your church, that is NOT a church ma and sir! Flee and seek the TRUTH!
The time is near!….its Sometime Soon!
The end time is here!….Are you ready
(In Tola Teriba’s song those days…)
Life is so funny
to which I can not understand
we live today and tomorrow we die
what is the meaning of life?
this might be your last chance, accept Jesus today….
tomorrow, might be too late for you
What is the meaning of life?
Sometime soon – A WhatsApp group conversation