I wanted Tracy to be with me but equally wanted to continue my runs with Pamela which really would be totally impossible if I was to be with Tracy whose sharp eyes were second to none in noticing things.
Yes you can term me greedy, stupid or silly but that moment I clearly wasn’t thinking straight. I had to let go of one of them, preferably Pamela but just couldn’t. Pamela to me was an adventure. A game I needed to conquer while Tracy on the other hand was a lady that I needed to keep for the future. Yes Tracy was my future.
‘’I want to be with you. Your company, your strength, your character is nothing but perfect. I can’t imagine staying in this school without your friendship and support but my greatest fear is disappointing you. I currently have nothing to offer but misery and pain. I know my words sound so strange right now and you feel like you know me but you don’t know half of the things I have done and that’s pushing me away from you because I have a conscience. I like you Tracy. Believe me I really do. A part of me strongly wants to hold you tight to my chest but another part of me wants you to have nothing to do with me’’ I confessed, looking down with great confusion.
It really took me a lot to pour out my honest heart to her. I never knew she was capable of making me reveal my heart with so much energy. She slowly raised my face to look into my eyes.
‘’yes I used to know you. I used to know what you were capable of. I knew about your involvement with other ladies in the past but I never confronted you with it. However I knew what you felt for me was different. You always protected me like a brother. You made sure I was always happy. You bought things for me and never for once tried to get intimate with me even when we slept on the same bed. But ever since your dad died, you totally changed. You became unreadable and withdrawn. It pains me to see you this way’’ she breathed solemnly, shaking me with her words.
I never knew she had so much power over me. I trembled as her words sank into my heart. I was badly in love with her even though I tried my possible best to suppress my feelings in order not to hurt her but she was now laying every card on the table and I knew going into a relationship with her would bring nothing but lots of pain to her noble heart. She was a noble woman who deserved the very best. She never deserved a guy like me but it was so unfortunate that she loved me and I equally couldn’t let her go because I was in love with her.
‘’you don’t understand Tracy’’ I stammered.
‘’I understand how you feel. I really do. Trust me. You need nothing but parental guidance. You lost your mum when you were very little and now your dad is equally no more. There is no one to guide you. You are simply lost and confused with life’’ she said softly. I swallowed hard as I stared into her eyes which were filled with love, care and passion.
‘’I’m going home on Wednesday to spend some days with my parents and take a little break in preparation for the semester exam coming up in two weeks. You can come with me. My mother is a good woman. She is a counselor working for the federal ministry of education. She can talk to you. She can help you out of the emotional trauma you are passing through’’ she offered, holding my hands strongly.
‘’you mean exam is starting in few weeks?”’ I asked with disbelief.
‘’of course yes. And once the exam ends, we only have a week to rest before commencing our industrial training’’ she added, leaving me stunned. ‘’but you don’t have to worry. We can still work things out together. We can go to my house together and plan things from there’’ she added.
‘’Tracy, I really don’t know what to say to you’’ I softly stammered, reaching forward to do what I had always held myself from doing. I reached forward and kissed her strongly. It was such a strong and long kiss. It was a very wondrous moment.
Kelvin’s side of the story continues
By 6:30pm that fateful day, I arrived at my house from Joe’s gym, very tired and hungry. I walked in to see Cynthia waiting for me. I frowned on seeing her because I wasn’t expecting her presence while my memory flashed back to the day she forcefully took my third spare keys. (On that fateful day, I was in the sitting room busy with my computer while she was busy cleaning my rooms when she suddenly showed up, holding a set of keys in her hands.
‘’I guess the keys are the spare ones for the house?’’ she asked. I nodded, saying nothing. ‘’fine, there are two sets of keys here. I will take one set and leave the other set’’ she softly said and ever since then I had been unable to get the keys from her.)
‘’you never told me you were coming?’’ I asked curiously.
‘’do I need to get your approval before coming here?. huh?’’ she answered with a question, leaving me silent because I really didn’t have the strength to face her. ‘’anyway I’m here to discuss something with you. I’m here to discuss the progress of our relationship’’ she added, touching her stomach and watching me keenly.
‘’which relationship?’’ I couldn’t stop myself from asking and yes I instantly regretted making the statement as a quick frown appeared on her face.
To be continued