I began to give consideration to pastor’s suggestions on reconciliation and restitution but how will I go about it? Who will convince Jocelyn I am a new creature? Who will tell Jocelyn’s father to take me back again as his son-in-law? It was a serious bridge to cross. I started a chain of prayers for God’s leading and guidance.
Pastor Lanre had said I cannot marry another woman while Jocelyn is still alive. I was not getting younger and my parents were getting closer to their graves by the day.
“When are we going to embrace our grandchildren” was a popular song in the lips of my parents. I wish I could tell them they already have a grandchild but I may never see this child all my life.
I moved out of church mission house to a one room apartment to enable me start a new life and re-plan my life. Pastor Lanre through Mrs Kalu traced Jocelyn to her new church and began to talk to her pastor on the possibility of our coming together again. The first meeting arranged by Jocelyn’s pastor to discuss our reconciliation was fruitless. Jocelyn walked out immediately she realized the subject of the meeting was our reconciliation. It took her pastor a month’s rigorous follow up to be able to make her return back to the church. She threatened never to attend that church again if anything about me is ever raised. The matter was put on hold for another one year. One year of loneliness and silence.
Many sisters were interested in me in the church but pastor Lanre had warned me never to give attention to any of them.
You are a married man, you can’t date any sister in church. This he has said several times to me. Among these sisters who danced around me in church, sister Eunice was different. Epitome of beauty and humility. Her smiles are good enough to heal the sick. I wished I could get closer to her but pastor Lanre would not let that happen. Sister Eunice was a total opposite of Jocelyn, she will make a perfect wife, I thought.
I cannot disobey pastor Lanre but sincerely I am falling in love with sister Eunice..!
I love pastor Lanre for one thing, he was a goal getter per excellence. After a year, he was able to reconcile me back to my wife, Jocelyn. The conditions for reconciliation put me further into marriage prison. It was either I accept the conditions or I remain unmarried all my life. Staying unmarried for life is a prison on its own, going back to Jocelyn also is a prison. The decision was to choose between two prisons. I decided to choose the later prison.
I returned to Jocelyn’s house like a slave, this time I was already born again. The price I had to pay was to obey all conditions set for me and obey God in all my dealings. I had also signed an undertaking with the police never to engage her in any violent activity. With these conditions and my new spiritual status, Jocelyn became a god and a monster. The bitterness of what I did to her sister still lingered in her mind. The presence of my wife became a terror to me. I was practically loosing my mind but I was encouraged to endure and stay in the marriage.
Whenever I came back late Jocelyn would lock me out. I stayed late most times because of fellowship and the nature of my job in the church. I was the last person to leave the church everyday because I had to ensure all doors and windows were locked before leaving. Sometimes when she locked me out, I will return back to the church and pass the night with the security guard or at the church auditorium, the den of mosquitoes and dangerous insects. Other times to avoid too many questions, I just passed the night at the balcony. I became a victim of domestic violence. Initially it was emotional violence but it later graduated to physical assaults.