******
He didn’t know how long he was out for, but when he wakes Zachary is helping him up and putting him on a chair, his vision was blurred but he could see Zachary smiling.
”Dude you fainted” Zachary teases him
”I didn’t faint!” Sean rubs the back of his head, he thanks the nurse who gives him a patch of ice to put to his head
”Yes you fainted, like a girl you fainted !!” Zachary laughs
”Shut up fool!!”
”I swear it was like in the movies, they tell a girl some kind of news and she swoons… awwnn falling flat on the ground, you freaking fainted like a bitch, I knew you was a girl, a disgrace to the entire manhood, give me your dxxk… we need to send it to Jesus to change it for a Gina!” Zachary bursts out laughing
”Shut up Zachary, I hate you!!”
”I love you too” He says laughing helping Sean up ”So while you were taking a brief five minutes snap, I have been brought up to speed… first, doctor said you are okay, he checked you out, just a brief electrical shock and then he checked your head, you remember that fall, years ago did something to you, he said something about looking through your MRI scan, due to your fall, you had temporary amnesia you remember? A while back years ago? When you got back your memory a few others were blocked and he said since it was temporary amnesia you should remember everything but you didn’t..he said it was as if you were blocking some memory… Unconsciously without doing it on purpose..maybe out of shock, whatever it was, caused you to block out some selected memories under 24-72 hours lost, he said some medical mumble jumble and adds that it’s the reason why you are unable to remember certain incidence. Yes, I told him you had a fall right out graduation, after that crazy party you dig.. so I told him it was my fault and that I got you high and stoned on drugs and he says that’s the reason some memory was suppressed; Intoxication of intense alcohol plus drugs and then after the fall, see how it was hard for you to remember anything? Because it felt like it never happened… you was blank from the beginning..kind off”
”I have no idea what you are talking about” Sean rubs his temple
”Stupid!! You remember one time years ago you told me about some chick who showed up at your door step claiming she was pregnant with your kid? You called the name then but we didn’t know who that was because… well who the hell was she right? So you kept being bothered about it for a couple of days and that is it. Now I remember, I remember that the name you called is the same name, the same Megan Philips!! How come it didn’t click?”
Sean is staring at him
“I know you are confused so Let me refresh your memory. Megan explained it to me, that night, at that party, you were pretty knocked out, I know that because we were juiced up right? I gave you them pills..I always give you pills” he scratches his head
“Anyways, I remember us going gaga all over the place, and then poof you ran away somewhere into the house and you remember telling me the next day you remember, that we couldn’t remember jack of what happened and then well, Megan said that she too was high and stoned that night and then you guys..were ..erm in the same room and then..oh-ah-oh-yes-yes!”
”Dude! dude stop, you are making my head hurt” Sean says
Zachary smiles broadly ”Its official Sean, you are a baby daddy and I am an uncle. To the little monster!! What was the odds of that ever happening…!” he laughs slapping Sean’s head
When he fainted, it wasn’t because of the news… it was because everything Megan’s father said brought back memories… it was a blur, it hurts his head… then he blanks.
He shakes his head as he steps away from Zachary, to Megan who is staring at the window, away from her family..
”I am sorry Sean, but I couldn’t do anything, Megan made me promise not to” Tonia says ”And with good reason”
Sean shakes his head, “‘I know Tonia, I don’t blame you.”‘
Her parents are seated together holding hands, Megan is hugging herself, away from them all facing the window.
“Megan?”
She turns “Why didn’t you tell me?” Sean wanted to know, he was dying to know why she choose to keep it away from him. His Child, his daughter.
”I did, but you didn’t believe me, I tried to explain how it happened, but you didn’t want to give me a tiny moment of your day… you laughed at my face and you left me chasing after you on the streets, I thought you would come home and I went back to check a couple of times, but they said you relocated, they wouldn’t give me a number either… I did tell you”
”I don’t mean then, I was stupid and young then, I know… I meant when I came back?”
She sniffs chuckling, ”What was I supposed to do running into you in her school? Hey Sean, remember me Megan, the girl at graduation party who got stoned and high and was stupid enough to have sex with a total stranger who was equally stoned and high and hey guess what..that four year old girl you are talking to is your daughter, hurrah!” she raises up her hands and then drops it, turning away
”Don’t please, I had a right to know Megan, she is my daughter”‘
”No, you lost that right the moment you didn’t care”
”You can’t hold a young boy over something he had no control over, like you said I was high and stoned, hell Meg I didn’t remember what happened that night, I didn’t remember it all at all… I had an accident that period, with my head.. I had temporary amnesia for a bit, but after a few days it was gone, returned later but graduation period was a blur… up until now, and every time I try to think hard about something , I know it hurts..but, that is no excuse Megan, that boy Sean was messed up, immature, careless. That boy Megan made mistakes but I know that if I knew for sure then, that I was going to be a father, I wouldn’t have gone”‘
”Right!! Like you would give up your life for a stranger ?”
”No!! But you would have to be taken care of, the baby too… even if I was too immature to think it through.. my father would have made me own up to my mistakes, my flaws… he would have made sure I took responsibility “‘
”Well” she cleans her nose “You never gave me the benefit of the doubt, you didn’t listen. I guess we don’t know if the boy Sean would have cared”
”And the man Sean, you think I would run the other way”‘
She is silent
“Now I understand why you hate me, I see it all clearly now… you hated me because I left, I didn’t accept a child we both made, you hated me because… because of me, you and your family had issues, you got separated from them when you left and it burned bridges, you hated me because you had to carry the shame and stigma of being a single mum, survived it through all alone… you hate me because of my absence… Kiki became vulnerable to the taunts of not having a father, she became withdrawn and sensitive… that is why she didn’t have friends right? That is why she feels so detached around others… you hate me because of the things you couldn’t do but gave up because of kiki… right Megan, that is why you hate me? Because I wasn’t around to avert it all by accepting, my child?”
”Yes, I hated you because you didn’t, because you didn’t’!” she sobbed ”and when you came back and Kiki’s sudden attachment to you… I hated you even more” she says
”Í am sorry Megan, I am truly really sorry” he says trying to touch her arm, his chest is closing, his heart racing, tears fall off his eyes ”I am sorry for not being there for our baby, I am sorry for my lack, my irresponsibility and for everything, for all that you went through… for all Kiki had to be put through, I am sorry… I am here now, and I swear I will make it up to my child, I swear it”
”You can’t make up four years lost Sean”
”No I can’t, but I can make the rest of her life worth it.” He holds his head as it felt like it was expanding and he places a hand to his chest as love washes over him due to the revelation” I can’t believe Kikina… that she is my daughter I… I cannot believe that I am a father,” he says turning away from her, cleaning his eyes but more tears fall off…”I am a father Zachary, a father to a beautiful girl, Kiki is my daughter!!” he says laughing..”Oh shit!! It makes sense now, the allergies… we are both allergic to nuts, and the coughs too, that fever with a cold…and …oh dang I should have sensed it, I mean… there was this feeling of warmth when I see her, when her smiles lights up into my eyes… she looked familiar I told myself once, something familiar about Kiki, well it’s because she has my blood!! My genes, she is my baby, she is MY GIRL!!” he goes to Zachary who laughs hugging him
”I am a father, a father!!” he goes to her mother and then father, hugging them ”A father !! forgive me.. forgive my absence. Forgive me. I am a father, a father!!”‘ he hugs a laughing Tonya..
Megan cleans her tears , he comes back to her “‘I promise you Megan, I will be the best father in the world, I will.” He pulls her into a hug crushing her to him ”Forgive me, please forgive me Megan, I didn’t know, I was stupid… I was stupid I didn’t know. I will do right by kiki, I will do right starting today by our baby girl. No, she is no mistake Megan… she isn’t..” he hugs her tight holding her close, she doesn’t struggle, she doesn’t push him away. ”Forgive me” he begs, she felt his tears on her shoulders “Forgive me!!” he kept repeating as he cries in her hair
As he closes his eyes, it comes flooding back now as the tears flow… he remembers it all, that day at his house when a girl stood at his door, before then… earlier, graduation day, him and Zack talking about a party… then the drinks and juiced drinks, Zachary running about screaming ”Cock-roach, he staggering upstairs… the girl… the ice-cream…making love… again and again that night. He remembers it, no wonder he thought he knew her, her scent and taste was etched into his memory… they had brought a child, a beautiful child into the world..
“Forgive me Megan”‘
Her heart breaks ”There is nothing to forgive Sean, I have no more strengths to hold grudges, it’s a relief actually now, I have no more strength for nothing more. She is our daughter, you better make up for lost times… that is all”
”I will do more than that” he reassures her
”There is one tiny little detail missing, how are you going to break the news to her that her daddy isn’t in heaven and is not dead but her daddy is Sean?” Tonia taps her jaw
They all turn to Megan, Sean stares down at her, she stutters “That one is on you” her parents and everyone points to Megan
”I-I erm i’m sorry about the part that you were dead, it seemed like the best option at the moment, sorry Sean” she bites her lips
”It’s okay… don’t worry you don’t have to tell her alone, we would do it together”
“I don’t mean to disrupt the family reunion but she is awake now, you can see her briefly” the Doctor interrupts them
”Oh thank God” They are rushing to her room
”You need to wash off those stains from your body so you don’t scare the kid” The Doctor points to them, Sean and Megan stare down at their blood stained cloths. They forgot all about it.
*****
TO BE CONTINUED.
