I am tired and trying very hard to have and hold

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“I am tired. And trying very hard to have and hold on to hope. I’m tired of having to be strong and sensible. I’m tired of having to fight on three fronts for my relationship to work. Tired of smiling when I really want to frown and hide away from the world. Tired. Drained.
Tired of having the man I love have trust issues because it is difficult to understand that I can be flirty and wanted by many and engage them and still be solely for one person and actually hang with people and go on dates without fucking them at the end, and that all of the idiots who tell him they have fucked me only want to and are trying to boost their fragile egos.
I need a break. I find myself constantly having to consciously pull myself out of the safe haven I have created in my head to interact and deal with people. I’m tired of crying and telling myself to dwell on positives, all the while being drawn in by the hurt and… Take the hurt away. Take the need for me to be perfect away. Give me rest.” –
Credit Asantewa