Diary Of A Broke Playboy Episode 44


We walked through with all eyes on me like a celebrity. I wasn’t a celebrity, I was just at the wrong place with the right girl.
“What are you doing here?” one of the girls there asked.
“I am the plumber, I came to fix the pipe,” I replied as the girl dragged me into one of the toilets and locked the door. There was no time for dallying. Her pants went down and her skirt went up. Then she placed her left foot on the closed WC and pulled me closer as my trouser dropped to the floor.

It was all rocking again as the party seemed like it would never end. People were disappearing in a pair of male and female and reappearing back more closer and exasperated. Willie had done his own disappearing and reappearing with Nelo after she had nearly raped him on the dance floor, courtesy of her indulging in too much drink and a little weed, I counted up to 3 times that they had disappeared and reappeared. James was simply no where to be found as I and my new girl snuggled to each other, all wet with sweat and the sperm that had missed the entry point.

At the corner, a guy sat on the floor crying his eyes out to an audience.
“Nna what is it naa?” A guy had asked him and he let out a high pitch sob before replying.
“I was coming here with my Range Rover, my only Range Rover. My 2019 Model Range Rover,” he paused and put his hand against his chest and cried again.
“Oga what happened to the car?” Someone asked again. Somehow a huge part of his audience was finding the whole thing funny, some laughing away at the drama.
“The jeep fell into the river and disappeared. My Range Rover disappeared,” the guy wailed. “And my mother was in that car.”
“Make we comot here. Na highness dy worry this one, he don high.” one of the guys said. Everyone turned with laughter and started walking away. The wailing guy changed his tone.

“Nna, the things wey dy happen for this country dy pain me,” he cried as I walked into the dance floor with my stoned chic.

We went into another round of smoking and drinking back at Willie’s lodge. Chinelo had kissed the tip of the gun powder again and it was so close to driving her nuts. I did my own bit of the kissing and the funny feelings it gave me wasn’t funny in anyway. I then understood why my guy back at the party was talking about driving his 2019 range into a river along with his mother. Someone once said, “When you smoke the herb, it reveals you to yourself.”

I came to believe that saying at my elder brother’s lodge. Only problem was that there was more to that saying. The weed not only reveals you to yourself, it also reveals nonsense to you.
Somehow, someway. Everyone around looked like Naza to me. Even the guys. I was moving from one guy to the other, hugging and pecking them and yelling, “I love you man, I really love you all.”
Somehow through all the highness, I managed to carve out my trap queen. She had taken a peep into the room and was gone almost immediately. I staggered up from where I sat and staggered my way out into the dark night. She was leaning on the wall with a lit stick in her hand. She was all meaty in her black singlet and white bumshot. Thick cloud of smokes kept escaping from both her nose and mouth.

“Can I share?” I asked and she shrugged, giving me the tip of the weed and I took a kiss. Then she dropped it to the floor and I held her.

“Do you live here?” I asked and she groaned a yes in between the kisses. My hand slid down to her camel toe and I rubbed it. She bit my lips and shoved me away.

“You are going to dirty my cloth,” she said and dug her fingers into her coochie, pulling them out with the sticky fluid.
“You can wash them later in the morning,” I said.

“Are you now going to fuck me with my clothes on?”

“No, I was getting to the part where I romantically pull them off but you pushed me away,” I complained and she smiled. She led me inside her room. The room was rather too clean for the girl I am thinking her to be. She stood staring at me while I looked around the whole place.

“So?” she said, spreading her hands.

“So?” I replied.

“I thought you wanted to romantically undress me?”

“Cool,” I said and started with her bumshot. There was nothing romantic about the way I tore it down. I guess if it involved pulling down a bumshort and ripping off panties, it automatically turns to Romance.
She helped me out of my trouser and started off with a blowjob, sucking at it like she would suck at a stick of cigar. The way she looked up at me while she clipped my dick in between her lips, those eyes of hers. They could make a nigga cum straight out but I wasn’t that type of man. I needed a proper hole. I let her play with my tool for a while before I pulled her up and lay her on the bed. Lucky enough, the blast of music in Willie’s room drowned our moans as we screamed the roof off.

I was beaten up the next day by Willie. I was on the floor and my trap queen was no where to be found.

“Where is she?” I asked, kneeling on the rug and wiping my face with my hands and giving out a huge yawn.

“Where is who?” he asked me.

“The girl, the one I left with,” I said and tried remembering her name. It then occurred to me that we exchanged weed, dranks, dicks and pussy but not our names. Willie understood that and let out his dry laughter.

“You should know her, after all she lives in your lodge,” I said and stood up after my knees had been paining me.

“That one? She doesn’t live here,” Willie said and I stared at him, trying to see the joke in his eyes.

“What do you mean? Who owns this room then?”
“Her boyfriend, one very mean guy like that.”

My mouth was wide open for a couple of seconds.
“That girl is mad. What if the nigga had walked in on us,” I asked, seconds after closing my mouth.
“And he has a gun. As in the type that splits the brain into two,” Willie said. My jaw dropped again.

“But don’t worry, the guy is doing one week I. T in anti cult’s cell. He will be coming back in the evening,” he continued. I didn’t let him finish. I packed my clothes on the floor and walked my way back into my brothers room. James was there, smoking the stub of a weed. The nigga was addicted already.

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We spent the rest of the day, drinking the left over liquor and sharing sticks of weed. No food was in sight and the more we smoked, the hungrier we got and the more we smoked.

“Do you know where the girl went to?” I asked Willie as I handed him over the leftover burning stick.

“No, but it’s not very hard to find her. Just locate all the uncompleted buildings around this area. By the time you have seen five of them, you must have seen where she is buying weed,” Willie replied casually. It was so damn funny but that was exactly what I did.

So many uncompleted lodges littered the whole place but I was lucky enough to meet her on her way home. I was able to assume it was her due to her peculiar curves. She had a bit of gap in between her thighs, a sexy one and I took the few seconds we spent apart to examine her properly and she was every inch my favorite type of girl except the part of her that loves weed and drinks, well, life was an adventure and I was willing to explore that type of girl.
I cuddled her right there on the street and she pecked me, her mouth having the smell of a mixture of Marijuana and Pepper mint.
“Where did you go?” I asked as we walked back home, my ever horny hand on her waist, hers on mine.
“I went to see a friend,” she replied.
“What is your name by the way? I asked.

“Tasha,” she murmured.

“Did you say Shisha?” I asked with a load of surprise in my face. I shouldn’t be surprised in the first place. For a girl like her that loved weed like I loved my mother, her name could be Anwuru [smoke] too, it wouldn’t matter.
She laughed and pinched me.

“I said Tasha, as in Natasha.”

“Ooh, I am Chinecherem,” I said and she nodded.
“I know.”

“How did you know?” I asked her.

“You told me last night, many times.”

“How come you didn’t tell me yours?”

“I told you mine, many times but you were too high,” she said and laughed. I only imagined how much I had embarrassed myself that night.

We landed at Willie’s door like a bunch of witches.

“Where did you find her?” Willie asked as he tore a pack of spaghetti.

“In the church nearby,” I said. He laughed hard and long.
“This one? Church?” Willie’s friend asked.

“Yes, Maybe she went to smoke the frankincense,” Willie said. I stifled a laughter. She rolled her eyes at him with a smile on her face.
“This one that can smoke anything as so far say e dy comot smoke. Even car exhaust pipe,” Willie Said again. Everyone laughed. Tasha dragged me off to her room. I had no business with those high guys. They didn’t have a pussy and Tasha had better food. Not that I didn’t go back to eat the spaghetti with Willie and Co.

I left the lodge with James later in the day. Against both our wills but everything that had a start has an end. I left with Tasha’s number and she stayed back with mine. She was beautiful and hot and sexy and bad. I needed to hook up again sometime in the future. We hit my former lodge around 3 pm and I met shape there. James was already feeling sleepy, so was I. So he went into his room and I went into shape’s. There was no rest with Shape, so she dragged me into another Romance. One that left her with only her wrapper around her waist and I with only my boxers on.

We were at it when the door opened and Chinaza stood there. Her tummy bulging and her eyes bulging too. I withdrew from Shape in 0.1 seconds and stood facing Chinaza.
“I don fuck up again,” I yelled in my mind. I couldn’t exactly describe the look on my face as Naza just stood there, shaking her head at me with her eyes getting wet. She moved in a little and like a pack of cards, she slumped to the ground.

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