We were in a keke headed for the school gate when she called.
Me: Hey are you there yet?
Rita: Yea. We just dropped now.
Me: Ok. I will be there soon.
Then something like an audio flash back hit me.
Me: Did you say “we”
Rita: yea, i came with a friend, i didn’t know the way so i needed her to help out.
Me: Okay o. Just wait for me. I dropped the call.
James just looked at me with a wicked grin on his face and said
“Guy, u don enter”
“Her friend better be cute too or i go just deny am for there sharp sharp” i said as the keke dropped us.
Locating them wasn’t so hard. I observed her from afar and her pictures didn’t lie. She was as cute as she can be. Her friend too wasn’t bad.
We approached them. Reintroduced ourselves. James just focused on her friend who’s name was Cynthia.
So we moved into the nearest eatery. Got ourselves a seat. Called the waiter. I was going to order for snacks so i could at least have some change in my pocket. Then James asked them to make the order themselves. I just eyed him, he smiled and smacked his lips.
“But get us chivita juice first and then take their orders” James was still talking. I was graphically dividing the money in my pocket with my imaginary eyes.
The Juice came. We opened it, poured into our various glasses, started sipping as the girls started making their orders. Rita was representing their interest.
“We’ll both take fried rice and chicken with lots of salad on it”
James who had his glass of juice on his lips quickly dropped it on the table. My eyes tripled in size.
“Wait, Bae are you two going to share the plate of rice or what?”
“Noo, we are getting two” Rita replied. James coughed
“Ok o” i said and faced my drink.
The waitress came back with two plates of steaming fried rice and huge chicken wings. Only God knows how i managed not to snatch the food for them. As the waitress was leaving she called after her and asked for two cups of ice cream.
I stepped hard on James feet under the table. He looked at me and grabbed his glass of juice and started gulping it.
As they were lazily eating their food. We started a conversation. Her friend was a 100 level student of mass communication in the school. While she was also trying to get admitted into the Same mass communication department. We talked for a long while. When they were almost done with their food, i got up and made my way to the rest room. Counted my money again. Half cried for my life, urinated and went back to the table only to be welcomed by additional two cups of ice cream and another Chivita juice. I looked at the door, the devil inside me started advising me to make use of the door but i just jejely strolled to our table and sat down. James just managed to cover a good part of his face with his hands and was convulsing with laughter.
I just cleared my throat. Called the waitress to get me the bill.
The bill arrived, 7,250 naira. I was really tempted to yell at the girls but i managed to control my emotions. I just pulled out the 5000 naira in my pocket, handed it over to James alongside bill, grabbed the new juice and poured a large quantity of it in my glass, after all i was paying for it. James completed the money and paid.
I looked at the girls who were still romancing their food.
“well, you girls should just round up and let’s get going” i said
“We are through” Rita said and they both picked their handbags.
I looked at their plate, the food was still a bit much and the meat was scarcely touched.
I and James looked at each other with our mouths open. I nodded and we all left the eatery.
“So when are we seeing you guys again?” James asked as we got outside the eatery.
“well i will be coming to register for my post ume in 2 weeks time. Maybe we can hook up again” Rita said
“hope you guys will sleep over next time” james was still asking
“Ermm, till then” Rita replied.
James nodded. He felt his pocket and said he forgot his handkerchief inside. He went back inside.
I flagged down a tricycle and they both entered. I bade them farewell and asked the driver to move before they would start expecting me to pay their fare.
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James came out with a nylon which i wasn’t bothered to check because i was fuming inside.
“Guy which kind wahala be this naa” i half screamed as James approached me.
He looked at me and broke into a laughter.
“Guy those girls shaa, na your village people send them like this” he said
“And remember you dy owe me 2,250 naira o”
I looked at him and hissed. He laughed and suggested we stop a keke to take us back to our lodge.
“Na your nyash you go use pay for the keke” i told him
Shaa, we walked all the way to our lodge under the hot sun.
Immediately we got back. I just crashed on my bed.
James came into my room and grabbed my stove.
“Guy which level naa, wetin u wan use my stove do” i asked him
“i wan use am cook, no worry, i go comot 250 for the money wey you owe as compensation for the kerosene” he laughed and left with my stove. I hissed, got up from the bed and poured a small quantity of Garri in a cup and headed to James room to borrow sugar.
As i walked into his room, i saw him cooking the remaining fried rice and chicken those girls had left….
My father has always been like a trusted and performing government to me, not for any reason other than he pays my allowances as and at when do.
My alert came in at the last Friday of the month so i decided to flex it out the next Sunday. I invited my girl over. She told me she would be coming with a friend of hers.
Me: why naa, you want to add additional expenses on my head abi?
Chinaza: nooo, bae you know i won’t do anything like that
Me: So why would you come with her? Abi you want to find me a 2nd girlfriend?
Chinaza: you must be silly, i’m here saying you are not even enough for me and you are talking about sharing..
Me: Biko stop, lets not start fighting on the phone because it is my airtime that you will be wasting.
Chinaza: Baby of course you know i don’t like fighting you on the phone, i will rather do it physically where i can beat sense into you.
Me: so be serious jare, why would you be coming with someone extra.
Chinaza: Well, i’m bringing her for that your poke noser of a friend, james who keeps following you around. At least she will keep him busy, while i will have you to my self alone.
Me: Hahahaha, ok naa. I hope she is not a glutton or we will split the bill o.
Chinaza: stingy boy, as if we don’t split the bills before.
Me: You better look cuter than her or I’m going to hand you over to James and rock her.
Chinaza: And you better have enough money on you
Sunday came, by 2pm i was already out of the house with my usual culprit, James. We were headed for an open air restaurant. I called my babe, she was still taking her bath. Good news for us. We decided to sample the available girls.
My eyes caught one pretty looking girl. She was seated alone. I quickly dropped James and walked to her.
“Hmmm, i think its soothing to find out that I’m not the only one without company” i said pulling a seat and joining her table.
She looked at me and smiled and faced her phone again.
“even though i’m already seated, i’m still going to ask, can i join you?
“Umm, i guess yes” she said smiling at me.
We got talking. Her name was sandra, she was waiting for a friend of hers. I decided should her friend come, to invite James over. I needed to know this girl.
My phone vibrated. I took a look and it was James. I stared in his direction. He was already on his second bottle of Heineken and was flashing his teeth at me.
I opened my whatsapp and texted him.
“Guy i hope those two bottles are not on my account o”
“Before nko, na your papa carry me come here?” he replied
I just sent him hmmm and focused back on my new friend. I ordered two bottles of smirnoff for her and two bottles of Heineken for me. I cannot be buying Heineken for James and be drinking Malt. Its my money after all.
We were still talking before my phone rang again, i looked and it was James. I looked at him again and he was on his 3rd bottle. He was asking me to come over. I eyed him and continued my convo.
He walked up to me, said hello to the girl and faced me.
“Guy, the door dy crowded o”
I looked at the door and my girl was there. She didn’t see me, thank God. She was focused on her phone.
I quickly excused myself, James kept my new catch company to my utter dismay. That guy is capable of anything. I was praying he doesn’t lie to her that he was the one paying for the drinks or order another one.
I approached my girl, she was really looking sweet.
“So who delayed you today?, were you counting beans for your mother ” i asked her.
She hugged me and smiled
“sorry boo, i was waiting for my friend who said she was bringing another friend of hers” she said smiling
My face froze. I looked at her with a deep frown on my face
“Did you say her friend?”
“Yea baby, whats wrong with your face?
“Abeg stop all this baby thing, anytime you want to misbehave, you start looking for who to call baby”
“Babe chill naa, you know i won’t let you bear the pains alone”
“Abi, lets go before this Stupid James buys drinks for everybody here with my money”
We walked up to James and our new friend and i was disappointed. James was on his 4th bottle of Heineken and Sandra was taking her 3rd bottle of smirnoff.
“Hey, our girl is here” James half screamed, he was obviously getting drunk.
They exchanged pleasantries.
“So sandra meet my guy’s most beautiful girl, Chinaza, and chinaza meet my new friend, Sandra” James introduction was totally inspired by alcohol. Chinaza ignored him, looked at sandra and smiled.
“So Ada i was waiting for you in the house and you ran here before me enjoying yourself naa” Chinaza said grabbing a seat.