I loved Justin with everything in me but I knew better than to allow him or his family to trample over me, I was the kind of woman that offered tough love. I offered my emotions on a hot spindle and whoever wanted to be part of my life had to take the risk of getting burned, I never removed any jewelry from my crown to make it easy for anyone to carry it; whoever wanted to be in my life had to man up and meet my standards.
‘So what are you telling me really?’ I asked after much silence
‘Feli I do not have a problem, have you ever been preg…’
I didn’t even allow him to finish his sentence.
‘Justin honestly, you wake me in the middle of the night to accuse me of being barren?’ I asked in shock
‘Feli do not get me wrong, I am not calling you barren. I am just saying that I do not have a problem.’ He told me trying to sound reasonable
‘Well my dear husband, maybe if I was married to a different man we would be telling a different story right now.’ I said switching off the head lamp
I heard him sigh then later his head lamp went off too. Justin was the best thing that happened to me but that didn’t give him the right to question nature, I had heard stories of how marriages ended because of such cases and trust me I had drawn that line the minute I said I do. My marriage was never going to go through the courts of law, I would never lose my man to another woman, we were going to have battles yes but not anything that would tear us apart.
I said a silent prayer before closing my eyes.
I woke up very early to do the chores because I refused to hire a maid, I cleaned the house and prepared breakfast whilst Justin went to take a bath. I cleaned the bedroom then later took a bath and I joined him for breakfast.
‘Good morning.’ He said when I settled into my chair
‘Good morning.’ I greeted back
‘About last night…’ he began
‘I am all ears.’ I told him
‘You know I love you, right?’ he asked
‘Love is not the issue here, just get to the main point.’ I told him as I sipped on my tea
‘Can’t you for once just let down your high horse and at least reason with me like an adult?’ he asked in a calm voice
I put my mug cup down, in situations like these I remembered my mother’s words, and may her soul rest in peace.
‘Feli never raise your voice at your husband, no matter what humble yourself.’ She would say
I looked at him before responding as if calculating my words when in actual sense I was just dealing with my anger.
‘Babe, you wake me up in the middle of the night; tell me about a woman you impregnated back in school and accuse me of being barren then you talk to me about love?’ I asked making sure to sound numb
‘Sweetheart you know I did not call you barren.’ He told me
‘You didn’t have to spell it out, I read between your words.’ I told him picking up the mug cup with green tea.
‘Felicia I am not your enemy and I will never be one, we have come too far to allow such petty issues to come between us.’ He told me
‘It’s not petty if it’s causing you and your mother to be on each other’s throats.’ I told him holding his hand
‘I do not know what to do any more, do we really need a child?’ he asked me with a smile
I couldn’t respond, he knew just how to penetrate through me.
‘We have been happy, we can just leave the country and start all over elsewhere.’ He told me
‘And your family name?’ I asked
‘That baby making machine Priscilla can take over.’ He told me
I couldn’t help but laugh.
Justin’s mother had trouble conceiving, she only got pregnant six years after getting married and when she finally did it was hard to keep the pregnancy. She was in and out of hospital and the doctors had said that one of them wouldn’t make it if a forced abortion wasn’t done, but she wanted the baby so much and when he finally came she dedicated the rest of her life to him in the process abandoning her husband.
He came back home one evening with a tiny baby in his hands, she did not ask questions but took in the child as her own but little Priscilla grew up to be the opposite of the entire family. She had made headlines at an early age and had given birth to two kids at the age of twenty two both with different fathers.
‘Priscilla is not that bad.’ I told him as I cleared the table
‘I grew up with her, I know her like the palm of my hand.’ He told me spanking my bum
‘Babe.’ I screamed out turning to face him
‘Feli child or no child; what I feel for you is beyond me. I could never stop loving you even if I chose to.’ He told me kissing my forehead
‘I love you husband of my youth.’ I told him
‘We kissed for a while before locking up and getting into our separate cars.
My husband was a consultant under Ministry of Lands and I was an executive officer for the office of the vice president, our lives were perfect but the issue of the baby was slowly getting to me.
I drove into my parking space and dialed Justin’s number, he picked up on the first ring.
‘Miss me already?’
‘You have some lipstick on your lips.’
‘Wait, is that why that deal has failed, they must think I am a womanizer.’
‘Babe I am so sorry.’
‘Got you, I always move with my handkerchief courtesy of my lady.’
I couldn’t help but smile, God was I blessed.
‘Have a beautiful day.’ He told me
‘Even better knowing I have you.’ I said before walking out of my car
I wasn’t ready for this, how would I tell my husband that I was planning on resigning because my supervisor saw nothing but prey when he looked at me.