It’s been four days since kiara had told me about what happened.
Since then, she hadn’t really spoken much let alone eaten.
Honestly, I don’t even know what’s going to happen to her now.
Every time, we pass by, she barely glance at me.
All she ever does is walk straight ahead with a numb look on her face.
She has bags under her eyes from crying so much.
Every night, I hear her cry herself to sleep and it breaks my heart more than anything in the world.
I try, I really do.
I try to make her talk, eat, sleep and get her back to normal but it’s hard when it hurts both of us.
I might be lying but I think I’m hurting the most.
She supposed to be my responsibility.
But I let her slip from my fingers and then what happened.
If I didn’t let her go, that night everything would have been fine.
But nothing is now.
Not a lot of people know about the incident really.
Just me, her friends, my friends, Michael and Alex.
She made me not to tell her parents about it, or anyone else considering she didn’t want to worry anyone else.
And now, I feel awful for keeping such a promise like that.
I waled upstairs, a tray of foods in my right hand.
I knew she wouldn’t even touch the food, but it was worth a try.
I knocked on our room door, quietly.
“Kiara?” I called out not hearing an answer.
“Kiara, can you please say something?”
Still no answer.
“Baby, I know you are upset but this is healthy. You need to get up love.”
I waited a while, but when I heard no sound, I sighed and grabbed the bedroom key out of my pocket and unlocked the door.
Yeah, I carry a key around now.
She do lock the door and I can’t get in without a key.
When I stepped in the room and closed the door behind me, I found kiara fast asleep, blankets wrapped around her so tightly, you could only see her closed eyes.
I set the tray on the table and sat on the side of the bed next to her.
“I know you are not asleep, ” I sighed.
“I know you can hear me. That’s why I need to tell you that everything will be alright,okay?”
Even though she didn’t respond, I know she can hear me.
“The truth is that, I miss you. I miss everything about you and I hate how you are hurting and you are practically not around anymore, because it makes me miss you even more. And missing you…missing you makes me feel like I don’t have you. That you are gone, even though I know you are not. I know it hurts love, but it hurts me, even more.”
My voice became quieter, and my breath quickened. I felt a lump form in my throat, but I wasn’t going to cry.
I don’t cry.
I can’t cry.
I already cried once, but I can’t cry again. Guys don’t cry.
Don’t fvcking cry.
I climbed on the bed and slipped inside the blankets, then wrapped my around her waist from behind.
I placed my head on the crook of her neck, noticing how she was squeezing her eyes shut forcefully.
“I love you and don’t think that I will change just because of what happened okay?”
Kiara lifted her hand helplessly and wiped her eyes from the tears that had just fell.
I kissed her cheek and she flinch again .
She turned around slowly, wrapping her arms tightly around my neck and hiding her face in the crook of my neck.
My arms instinctively secured around her small than usual body.
“Why don’t you come?” She whispered after what seemed like longer than eternity.
My whole body went numb at that question and the lump in my throat grew bigger.
My eyelids felt wet, but I ignored it.
I’m not gonna cry.
“I waited for you to come but you never did.”
“I’m sorry” I managed to say.
“I didn’t know that I shouldn’t have let you go. I should have kept you with me. You should have stated. It’s all my fault. ” A drop of water fell on Kiara’s shoulder. And that is when I realized that it came from me.
I can’t cry.
I shouldn’t be Crying now.
“I should have hold on to you baby. ”
“Kyle,” kiara choked out a sob.
“Know what?” I furrowed my eyebrows, pulling my head out of the crook of her neck.
I stared at her red wet tear, stained, puffy face in confusion.
“What are you talking about?”