“Mummy , when is Nana coming ?’’ my four year old daughter asked me, I try not to frown. She had been asking me that question the whole of two days ever since her father had given her the phone to talk to his mother and she had let on that she was coming to visit. My daughter loved her groundmother, even more than she did me and that upsets me greatly.
It had been when I was just newly wedded to her son. We had been high school sweethearts, for so long that by the time we were done with school, found a job and he proposed, I thought the day would never come.
But before the proposal and happy wedding vows.. There had been one or two issues . I had gotten pregnant three times in high school and one in college. I had aborted all of them.
My parents were late, the only person I had close to anything as a family was my Aunt, but she was old , she was tired..and she had spent all that she had to send me to school. She was never married nor had a child of her own..so when my parents died in a car accident. She had taken me in and sent me to school, there I met Gibson..handsome , loving, make-me-lose-all-my-senses-Gibson…and before long we started dating and all reasoning flew out of the window as soon as he touched me.
Soon I was pregnant..
We loved each other but we were young. I didn’t have money to take care of myself, my Aunt’s pension money was what she used to send me to school…and it wasn’t much, I worked two jobs after school and four during summers, at restaurants, library, gas stations, babysitting and even a waitress at a pub bar..a freaking pub bar.
Having a baby at fifteen wasn’t so intelligent .. So we freaked out, I couldn’t tell my Aunt, she would beat me with that cane and send me away. I would be homeless and without means to cater for a child because I wouldn’t be doing all my jobs..i would get too tired and lazy and they would eventually sack me.
But Gibson, he was calm. He told me that he would tell his mother. He wanted to be a father , despite me telling him he was crazy, he was just eighteen, he said he didn’t care.
If his mother didn’t support him, support us he would drop out of school and work for both of us.
Ofcourse I told him he was crazy but he wouldn’t listen.
He took me to his mother, that was the first time I ever met her. She had been calm when he told her, she kept staring at me ..like really staring at me.
Then when he was done, she came to me, and I thought..okay great , she wasn’t screaming at me, she wasn’t angry, maybe it would be okay.
But I was wrong . Her palms kisses my cheeks, it was the second slap that Gibson stopped . She told me that I was a bad girl, I came to ruin the life of her son, that he had a promising future before he met me. She had been wondering why his grades suddenly became poor and how he never stays at home, but parties and clubs and sometimes misses his classes. She had always wondered who the girl was but Gibson had been secretive. But see what had happened, his little girlfriend had gotten pregnant .
She wasn’t going to allow me trap her son, especially when she had suddenly become rich. She had recently got married to a Senator, Gibson’s father and her were divorced, this was her fifth husband.
Gibson’s mother was a typical golddigger , with a black heart. Getting married only to rip men off their hard earned money. Gibson was a product of a mistake, but a mistake of her doing, to trap his father .
Now she felt I was going to do same thing with her son because her new husband had just adopted him to be his son, that meant that Gibson had access to money, money his mother wanted to keep for herself .
But I didn’t want any of that, I just wanted Gibson and I was just so little and scared about what was going to happen.
Then she had told me , told me that there was no way her son was dropping out of school and neither was he going to be doing work on the streets, so I should get out of her house and never to have anything to do with her son anymore.
Gibson would hear none of it, he threatened to leave if I did . and if she stopped him from being with me, he was going to enlope with me and never returned . it was a loud argument , shouts back and forth.
Then she gave him an ultimatum..i had to get rid of the baby. we were both young,. She offered to pay for it too. It took awhile before i agreed .
After I got rid of the baby, she found ways for us to break up. We didn’t .
Then I got knocked up a year later , and then a couple of months later again. All three times …we landed in the hospital and she made me get rid of it again and again and again.
I hated her, I hated her but I was young and I couldn’t do anything to help myself, and Gibson couldn’t help us either. He still lived under his mother’s roof and accepted allowances from her and his stepfather ,..i didn’t have a choice.
And then we got into college, after a year and a half, I got pregnant again. And this time, she had a long talk with the doctor. or who I thought was one.
I wanted to keep my baby. I was 22 and he was 26.. we were adults. My Aunt had died and I was alone, I was interning for a publishing firm during summer , and he was working in his step father’s company. We wanted to get married. We had planned it all. We were going to have a small wedding, just us and friends and he wasn’t planning on telling his mother.
But she had overhead his conversation with me that night when he asked about the baby.
She didn’t tell him when she left the house she appeared infront of my door the next day, invited me for drinks , said she wanted to mend things with me.
And I believed her, dropping my gaurds . she had drugged me and driven me to the clinic, while I came in an out of consioucness I heard her telling the doctor..
“Abort her pregnancy”
But I was weak and dizzy and tried telling him not to listen to her but he did listen to her , especially when he had received a big envelope from her. She even gave him money to take me back home when he was done.
Then she left me, left me in the arms of an intern medical student who wasn’t even certified to be a doctor…Yet.
And he had aborted my baby, making a mess of my womb. After so many long hours of pain and crying and being restrained, he lets me go..forcing some liquid down my throat. I pass out
only to wake up on my bed the next day and thought it was all a bad dream. But it wasn’t . I called Gibson, when he came and saw me he was devastated … I was bleeding on my bed
When he took me to the hospital and we were told that I wasn’t pregnant anymore, he was crushed.
He never believed me that it was his mother who did it. She has been at home with him, she didn’t know I was pregnant..she didn’t know we were evening getting married.
He knew his mother and I didn’t like each other but..his mother would never do anything like that. When we were in high school, she was just worried about them.
Now, they were adults she wouldn’t have been able to mess with our lives and how would she have been able to drug me, drive me to the hospital and then make a doctor abort my pregnancy, then take me back home
“It didn’t make any sense, which hospital? which doctor,?” He had thundered .
The times his mother had take me to the doctor, it was me , Gibson and her, we all had been in agreement and had signed a document stating it was what we wanted . And that what I said wasn’t possible.. that it wasn’t his mother.
That I had lost my pregnancy, maybe I had it aborted . maybe I wasn’t ready..maybe I didn’t love him enough to make things right.
I was angry, lashing out at his mother, she had come to meet us at the hospital and feighned innocence. During our fight I had fainted, they rushed me into the room to check on me. They found out that I was having an internal bleeding and when they checked. My uterus had been damaged. The only option I had was to take out my womb if not I would bleed to death. She had eagerly brought out money to pay for the surgery.
I wanted to kill myself..i wanted to die. I wasn’t a woman anymore and I broke up with Gibson and moved away. She was happy..because she never called.
A year later Gibson who had been looking for me meets me again and we kindled, he said he didn’t care that I couldn’t have children of my own..he loved me and that we could adopt, we could adopt as many as we wanted. He just wanted me and the girls his mother had brought for him…lasted a month, the second girl a week. He got fed up…and he hadn’t stopped searching for me. He said he told his mother he was his own man, then he moved out of their home, focusing on his life and that I was the only thing missing.
We fell inlove over again..and then he proposed to me again.
His mother raised hell but he didn’t care, he told her not to even come for the wedding. She didn’t. For a year we didn’t see her And we were happy, or sort off.
then I wanted kids, I cried day and night knowing I could not have my own kids . I wanted my own kids but I didn’t want to adopt. Miracles do happens. There was an advancement in medicine. i could be a mother without having to carry my baby myself but the baby would be in another’s woman’s womb. The doctor used the term “Rent A Womb” Or otherwise called “Gestational Surrogacy” where a surrogate woman carries the child for a couple , a woman who is unable to carry her own child in her womb due to some complications or in this case , Absence of an uterus.
It took a couple of months for us to decide and be really convinced of its successes, and another five months to choose the perfect carrier.
It was during that time that Gibson’s mother came back waving the white flag, wanting peace, asking to be part of her son’s life. She wasn’t so pretty as she once was, the women had thinned out, and the money spent on stupid things that had gone down the drain, and Gibson’s stepfather had divorced her and moved on, she hadn’t taken a dime. He made sure to fight it in court
She had no one else but her son now..and she wanted to make amends.
I didn’t want her..we had long fights about her.
“But she is my mother and I loved her jules, please. She hasn’t been the nicest of persons but she is not a wicked person, her decisions had been wrong but she thought she was doing right by me..please, lets give her a chance baby, she is my mother, its been a few years and I miss her”
i had no choice, I smiled a fixed smile and agreed. But I hated her still…and I only had one thing in mind…to make sure she didn’t have another chance to try and break up my home again.
She had come to apologse over dinner, trying to be the good mother, but I didn’t buy any of that crab. But after a year..i had to give it to her , she had changed, or seemed so, and I had to put my guard down, but I shouldn’t have’
During one of our sessions with potential carriess at home, she had walked in on us.
“you don’t need a stranger for a carrier, you need someone you know and can watch over and see everyday and know that your child is okay and healthy. .Someone that has good genes and blood, you need family “
I didn’t undertstand what she was saying until she repeated it
“I want to be the carrier of my goundchild, let me do this, let me do this for you Jules” she had looked at me with tears in her eyes
“Over my dead body” I had screamed
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But she insisted, she talked about the fact that she wasn’t that old and that she was healthy.. her son didn’t agree to it, I was never going to agree to it.i rather not have children than have her…she , the one that made this way which no one believed till this day..to be the carrier of my child..Never!!!
Then the doctor tells us that she lookd healtny and then he ran some tests on her.. she could be a carrier.. she wasn’t old that she couldn’t get pregnant . she was perfect. .the perfect carrier.
Then Gibson began to agree. We had a month of fights .
“Baby, atleast we know who mother is and she can stay here and you can watch over her. The other carriers we don’t know what they would be doing when we aren’t looking, they could be smoking and drinking and puting our baby’s life in danger and what if they ran away with our baby and go sell her /he off when she had given birth for money, people do that..baby, think about it. ”
It took a lot of convincing. Then we all went to the hospital, it was done, three weeks later
She came out of the toilet with a pregnancy home kit stick and became to scream. She was pregnant ;
We were happy. Finally I would be able to become a mother. That was the begining of my pain and miseries
All the while she carried our baby for us, she made sure I always got into trouble with Gibson complaining that I didn’t take care of her, I starve her , and wanted her to get a miscarriage because she was pregnant despite being old and that I couldn’t even afford to carry a baby because I wasn’t a woman. She caused so much trouble that I and Gibson began fighting all the time and sometimes I even threatened to quit the marriage
“Marry your mother then” I had retorted one day
But we make up a week later. But for months…it was hell and I couldn’t wait for her to give birth so I could take my baby and kick her out.
Alexis grace was born a year later, my beautiful beautiful baby. But i didn’t get the chance to hold her, bath her or even feed her. His mother said she was her daughter and she was the only one who carried and nurtured her in her womb .. It was another battle, I could only come near her but not touch her. Gibson didn’t believe me when I told him about this when he was around at home , his mother played eye service, bringing Alexis grace out to play with him but as soon as he leaves for work, she snatches her away from me and dare me not to come close.
I was sick and depressed and couldnt even take care of my child.
It took lots of fighting and stugging to cause her to let go of Alexis, then I gave him untilmtum.
“Tell your mother to leave or I will and I will take A lexis grace and you will never see us ever again.”
He told her to go away for a while and that she could only come visit when we allow her, her crocodile tears only made me feel sick.
“Alexis is my Child Mrs Janet, she is mine, I and Gibson’s, you carried her but she is not yours..so please let me be with my daughter please ” I cried
She left, and came only to visit when I agreed but it was on my terms .
Its been five years now… and everytime she came, she always caused a rift between Gisbson and I and I was tired..tired of it all.
She was old and grey but her heart was still ruthless. But the pain painful part was that..whenever she came, she turned Alexis to her and told her things. Alexis was smart and mature for a four year old..
It was when she began calling her mother instead of Grandma, and me Aunty instead of mummy and drew her , her father and grandma instead of me on her books and assigmemts that I became worried.
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“Don’t be dramatic baby, she and my mother share a bond, she is my child, our child but mother carrird her for us. She would feel connected to my mother too’’
“Not this way not this way…’’
But it fell on deaf ears.
Then one day, after not been allowed to visit for weeks, she had come, baring gifts
“I haven’t seen my grandchild for soo long Gibson , please . allow an old woman her final wish”
Gibson, gullible Gibson had refused, she had called and then she said she wanted to speak to Alexis , whatever she told her on the phone, Alexis started asking me nonstop that she wanted to see her Nana..
I didn’t want his mother near my child..i didn’t. she was bad influence . Alexis was all that I had. His mother wasn’t going to come here and ruin this ..not ever again!
And I told him but as always “ She is my mother Jules, she loves the girl, let her..please “
Nothing I said made him change his mind and I was fed up, fed up of always allowing her have her way and not having him believe me.
“Mummy, when is she coming , Nana?’’ Alexis askes again, I sigh , turning to stare at her “Today, any second now, daddy went to get her”
Her beautiful face breaks out in a smile “now I am so happy”
“Alexis, you know I love you right?”
“Yes mummy and I love you too, even daddy and Nana especially “ my face darkens
“You love me more because I am your mother not her”
“But she told me she was the one who carried me and that she is my real mother and that you are the one daddy married and I should call you mummy but Nana says she was my mother ..real mother. So I have two mothers, you and Nana “ she says
No , I didn’t want Gibson’s mother in my house
A few hours gone by as she came and as usual, she had caused I and Gibson to fight and then she has taken Alexis, to the other room and was playing with her
Angry with Gibson I had told him she was not staying in the hosue and I was done having her come into our lives and messed things up. She was never coming near I and my daughter again.
Gibson and I fought about it.
I wss coming to tell her about leaving that minute when I heard her telling Alexis of how much of a bad person I was, and how I had tried to desroy her son’s life and future , and how she had been the only one sustaining them.
And lastly, she told her how I was not able to be a mother because I had thrown away all my babies and damaged my womb and that she was her real mother and that she shouldn’t worry, she would take her and go when she was going.
I didn’t interrupt them ..no..
I knew going back to tell Gibson what was going on wouldn’t change a thing, because he wouldn’t believe me.
So I went back to my room and waited.
I didn’t bring it up, infact I didn’t bring anything up.
It was five days later when she was meant to leave, she had offered to drop Alexis in school.
Gibson had agreed, I, for the first time didn’t object.
I and Gibson went to work, while she took Alexis to school.
But she had come back an hour later and began packinv Alexis things , she really was going to go away with my daughter after making me have four abortions and…. and an empty womb.
There was no way I was letting her do that. Over my dead body, or over hers
I didn’t go to work, I had been waiting in the corner of the house, just waiting , until I had seen her car drive back.. I gave her a few minutes then I entered the house .. She was in Alexis room, parking her cloths and toys, everything.
“What are you doing??’ I asked her
She freezes and turns, shocked for only a second , then when she realised I was alone, her act drops “Taking my daughter, away from you. What you and my son have would not last, I would make sure of it. I would take
Alexis and he would be soo davastated and think she has been kidnapped that it would be put a strain on your relationship, and I would miraculiously show up a week or two later with her and tell him she ran away and came to me…and then he would see just how horrible of a mother you are and then he would leave you. I never liked you Jules, I never did . and I never wanted you to be with my son. I loved him too much to allow him settle for less….why did you think I asked to be the carrier? To spite you. I never wanted you to be a part of his life, much less carry his child “
“Why, why do you hate me so much?”’
“No reason..oh well, what can I say…I just do. You with your goody-two shoes and innocence . you remind me so much of what I was never…someone who didn’t have to fight so much for what you had, despite having gone through challenges, you still came out strong and ..i just hated you because ,my son loved you enough to go against me ..every single time for years he still stuck with you. Even when you couldn’t have any children..he still wanted you. It was beyond me ..beyound me.”
“It doesn’t ,make sense. I never did anything to you..i just loved your son and wanted a life with him, a home..a child. But you took all that away from me..why?”
“at first I felt you wanted to ruin his life by making him a baby daddy, and then the second time I felt you got pregnant again to spite me, and the third time ..i wanted to prove to you that…I can control what goes on in my son’s life and then the last..the last time, I wanted to make sure that you never have to go against me ever again, wether I was there or not..”
“And you made sure I never was able to get pregnant again right? ” I ask her , anger boiling
“Oh yes..and do you know why I am who I am? Because my son would have never believed you. you didn’t have prove. if not worse he thought you were crazy and when you both finally broke up, I was ontop of the moon. So happy I threw a party in your exit. I gave him girls , for a year I threw them at his face but he didn’t even bulge, he kept crying and whining about you and when he found you, married you behind my back..i was furious, so furious..and no matter how much I tried to come back into his life , you were a stumbling block and when I heard you were looking for children, I made sure the doctor friend of mine got on your case, made sure he suggested it and made sure he convinced Gibson to allow me be a carrier and when it happened , everything went easy. Alexis is my child not yours and she would never be your child never. I am taking her away from here, away from you, and when you are gone, I would be here to take care of my son and my daughter” she said
“You are sick, you are insane “ I screamed at her
“No, I am not, but you would be gone from here. Now get out, or move out of my way, “ she pushes me and continiued parking.
I don’t say anything, I turn and leave her, I hear her laughter .
I went into the kitchen, I got a knife.
No..i got two knives, a bin bag, some towels , then I went back to the room
“I thought you had left…?” she didn’t turn, she didn’t look at me
“No , I thought about it and I decide that I am not leaving and neither are you. i am done reporting your crazy ass to your son, he is as gullible as a child ..no, I will deal with the devil in my house, even if it means I become the devil myself “
When she turns and stares at me , she is shocked “What..what are you going to do with those, Jules put it down”
“Oh..i am going to do what I was meant to do from the begining …”
“Jules…put it down, okay I will leave I promise please”
“Yes, and then come back and ruin me completely? No Nana..you are done for..today , today is the last time you torment my life and try to break my family..today I free us from you” I made for her, pushing her to the bed as she screams, with both hands I jab the knives into her eyes..
She screams holding onto her eyes
I drag her up and push her on the ground, removing the knives I jab her multiple times into her chest.
I don’t stop until I felt her quake and jerk to her death.
Wiping the blood from my face…i leave her going to get an axe, from the wood my husband kept outside. I cut her up, limb for limb, put them into a bag and drag them into my car..
No one was around. People were too serious in my neighbourhood, bunch of workaholics. which was perfect for me.
I cleaned up the house, changed the sheets, threw the blood stained sheets and towels in the bin bag.. I made sure the house was clean. I had a shower .. I got into her car and drove away,..returning two hours later
I went to work, and came home .
I had put the car on drive and let it go into the lake…, no finger prints…no one would know I did it even if they found the car and her dead body. Which they would never find.
Its been a month now… Gibson was worried, he hasn’t been able to get across to his mother. They declared her missing. After three months they stopped searching. Its been six months …and she has been forgotten.. even Alexis had stopped asking about her, and Gibson has long concluded that either she had moved on or she was dead.
But I knew ..i knew the truth , I had killed my hudsband’s mother, and I didn’t regret it, Smiling I turn to Alexis who was pulling my hands “C’mon mummy, “
“Where to baby?’’
“To see Nana, to see Nana!!’’ she says, I nearly fainted when she dragged me outside ..
It was a picture of my husband’s mother which she had drawn, and underneath she had written “I love you mummy”
And I wonder..will I ever be free of her even in her death
To be continued on Monday