Seo Yoona♡♡♡
After a long day that had gone completely to s***, I came home to find my boyfriend naked in bed with his ex girlfriend. I had gone out for drinks with Yoo Ran like I planned but didnt even get to have more than one drink because I got called into the hospital for an emergency after there was a huge bus accident and the people came in like flies at the hospital. A lot of them were critical, some of them died at the hospital and I was in the OR for hours…only to have the 8 year old little girl die right on the operating table, it was no fault of ours because there was too much bleeding on her brain than I had anticipated, it all got away from me and I ended up losing her but it was my first time losing a patient so I was devastated. I had no time to dwell on that because I had more patients to attend to and I tried as hard as I could to prevent people from dying but life doesnt always go the way you want it to right?
Anyway, I was exhausted both emotionally and physically, my entire body was aching like hell and I felt like such a failure with all those people who came in and the little girl who died on my operating table, my dad and all the other crap, I just wanted to get into bed with Jude and have him hold me but surprise of my life when I saw him on top of Leila. I knew that she would try everything to get to him, even use her pathetic little body but what I didnt understand was why Jude was actually on her like that. I froze when I saw them, unable to move like a freakin statue, I just stood there and watched. Jude saw me and jumped off her
Jude “Yoona….” I turned to leave but he ran after me, he grabbed my arm and made me face him, he was still naked and fully erect, it made me sick that he was aroused because of her
Me “Jude please, I dont have the energy to deal with this right now”
Jude “Yoona, its not what you think baby I promise” I pulled my arm from his grip
Me “I just want to go to bed okay?” I turned to leave and I heard him say my name but I was hurting too much to even face him. What a long night, at f****** 12 am…I had to come home to such a crappy sight. Whaaaa…..I was being caught well and good huh?
I slowly walked to the kitchen and took out a bottle of vodka and a small glass then walked up to my room. I got in and locked the door, I sat on the floor next to my bed and opened up the vodka, pouring the contents in the glass then brought it up to my lips and gulped it down in one shot, the drink burned the back of my throat and seemed to sooth my chest. I poured another one and did the same as before, my heart was aching so badly, everything that happened was coming back to me, seeing my father always put me in a bad headspace but seeing Jude like that made me feel even more ****ed up than usual. I was confused and angry, a series of emotions fighting against each other in my head, why would he do that? How could he do that?
I heard squabbling downstairs then footsteps coming up the stairs, I assumed it was Jude and Leila. The sounds became louder as they approached the top of the stairs, I was already on my fourth glass, making up for earlier when I wanted to drink but couldnt because this crappy life got in the way. A knock came on my door then Jude’s voice
Jude “Yoona…please open, lets talk ..let me explain”
Leila “Jude…just leave her! She saw everything that she needed to see, you’re back where you belong now”
Jude “dont touch me! Shut the **** up!” He screamed at her “Yoona….” he knocked again “just open the door baby so we can talk…I can explain please” I drank my 5th glass and paid no attention to the commotion at the door. I was in too much pain, I felt weak and vulnerable, too raw to face anyone especially Jude Howard. I wanted to calm myself and steady my self so that I could steer myself back to that cold dark place I often found myself in everytime I was hurting and disappointed, I needed to find my inner strength, my will to get through anything because I had been through it all…I needed to get myself to that numbing place where I didnt feel anything
Jude “Seo Yoona….please….”
Leila “Jude…”
Jude “what are you still doing here? Leave me alone!”
Leila “you will see all in due time that I just did the both of you a favor, it was never going to work anyway” then I heard foot steps walking away from the door
Jude “babe…please my love, lets talk…just open the door” a door opened
Chase “ya, whats going on? Why the noise at this time of the night?!”
Jude “its nothing man, just go back to bed”
Chase “what did you do?”
Jude “GO TO f****** BED CHASE!! Jeez man”
Chase “okay okay fine….” the door closed again and Jude started with the knocking and begging me to open the door
I stopped drinking and collected myself, channeling my wandering emotions to one place, I was getting dizzy perhaps because I was tipsy and the alcohol was working, the images of the horrible day were fading, I could literally feel my heart hardening up, you know when water starts to freeze and turn into ice, thats how I started to feel. Locking away my emotions and not dealing with the pain was a coping mechanism I taught myself when I still lived with my father. After realising that I was alone and that he wasnt going to stop and my father was not going to do anything about it, my mind would always go to this dark cold place where I would just faze out and the pain would dissipate and I’d feel almost nothing but I wont lie and say there werent triggers. There were things that would happen and they would send me off the radar like at that time, it was seeing my father that triggered all the bad feelings and the pain, every time I saw him even if it was on the news, everything would come flooding back
So I got up from the floor and walked to the bathroom, Jude was still knocking and begging. I staggered to the bathroom and splashed cold water on my face, I looked in the mirror and saw Seo Yoona the strongest and most brave girl I knew, nothing could ever break me but with Jude, I knew that only he had the power to break me and thats why I put up such high walls with him but I thought he was so perfect that I had started to bring them down but not anymore, as I looked in the mirror, I saw the face I had spent so many years practising, that cold and unfeeling emotionless expression I displayed for the world to see. I was always so good at pretending I didnt care about anything or anyone, that I was fine and didnt need anyone, keeping people at a cold distance and never letting anyone get to know me.
I dried my face and tied my hair up into a bun, I changed into my pyjamas, turned off the lights and got into bed. Seo Yoona the cold hearted b**** was back and this time, the walls were up high…out of all the people I had ever met in my life, I cared for Jude Howard a lot and I knew that he was the only man who had the power to break me down so the walls were 10 feet tall and 10 times stronger than they were before.
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♡♡♡Jude Howard♡♡♡
I woke up the next day in my bed, I couldnt even recall what time I slept because I kept tossing and turning, thinking about Yoona and the thing with Leila. I am such a f****** idiot I know, I never should have let Leila be so close to me in the first place, I almost slept with her, almost….well I was already inside her but s*** man! Yoona looked so broken and I hated to see her like that because of me, no words in the world could excuse what I did, I was s*** scared…so f****** scared of what this whole thing would do to us.
I got out of bed and decided to make her favorite breakfast, it would never make up for what happened but I hoped it would be a start and since it was her day off, I was hell bent on spending the entire day trying to fix the damage done between us. While I was busy with breakfast, Leila was the first to come downstairs
Leila “morning handsome” she smiled and I felt sick to my stomach
Me “I hope you’re packed and ready to leave my house”
Leila “you were serious about that?” She said, taking water out of the fridge
Me “yes, I want you gone Leila”
Leila “where will I go? I dont know this place”
Me “I dont care, you should take that up with the people who brought you here”
Leila “if you’re so upset about last night then I’m sorry, if you want me to apologise”
Me “oh my God Leila! Just leave okay! I dont want to see you again! For once in my life I have something good okay? I am making something of myself here and you’re f****** it up! I only let you stay here out of courtesy and now I’ve had it with you…go to a hotel, get on the next flight back to the States, I dont care! What you did was unacceptable!” She put down the water and walked over to me, she put her hands on my shoulders
Leila “you wanted it as bad as I did, I didnt hold a gun to your head baby…you wanted to” I removed her hands
Me “get out”
Leila “Jude….”
Me “I’m serious Leila… you’re still the same selfish person you were back then, it was always Leila’s way and **** everyone else. Well no more…you are not going to ruin things for me this time. I have a good thing going for me here and you can even forget about ever getting anywhere near Reign because I dont want her having an influence like you in her life”
Leila “influence? I am her mother!”
Me “Reign already has a mother”
Leila “her real mom!”
Me “mom? Do you even….you know what? Im not going to argue about this with you, just leave my house” I turned to attend to the breakfast I was making and she stood there watching me.
When I was done with breakfast, I laid the table and the boys came down for breakfast but Yoona didnt
Jay “mm this smells great! A delicious Korean breakfast…I like it!”
Chase “where’s Yoona?”
Leila “probably sulking in her room” I scowled at her
Chase “what happened last night anyway, what did you guys fight about?”
Me “we didnt fight, she was tired from a shift at the hospital”
Chase “didnt seem that way to me” I glared at him
Me “well thats the way it was”
Chase “if you say so”
Me “Jason….” he looked up “when are you planning on going back?”
Jay “what? You want us to leave already?”
Me “no…I’m asking because I want Leila to leave my house” his eyes widened
Jay “what? Why?”
Me “I never wanted her to be here in the first place, honestly I dont even know why I let her stay….I think that since you brought her here, you need to take care of this situation”
Chase “whats going on? I thought we were all living well together, what happened last night?”
Jay “yeah, what happened?”
Me “I wont spent another day in my house with someone who does not respect me or the way I choose to live my life or my relationship”
Leila “why are you making yourself the victim here Jude? I didnt hold a gun to your head okay! All I did was show up in your room naked…everything else happened because you went along with it”
Chase “what? Dude you slept with Leila?”
Me “of course not!”
Leila “but you were going to had your girlfriend not walked in”
Jay “Yoona saw you?!”
Chase “whaaa!! So thats the drama that went down?” I was getting agitated by the whole thing
Me “it doesnt matter what happened, Leila just leave before I get really pissed off, you dont want to see that side of me trust me” I sighed and drank the water in front of me
Yoona’s bedroom door opened and we all looked up. She looked beautiful as always, in a large denim shirt and thigh high boots, her long red hair flowing in soft curls past her shoulders. She carried a small handbag and her phone in the other hand. It was evident even to a fool that she wasnt staying for breakfast. She came down the stairs and my heart was already beating in my throat, I stood up and looked at her
To be continued…
