Thoughts Of An Over Thinker


Sometimes I wish I could just believe everything without questioning

But alas….
I carry the burden of a questioner….
I wish I could believe that there is a plan for mankind that will make all this better

I wish I could believe that God is sitting somewhere.

Watching us while we kill, rape, violate, disrespect, deceive, abuse, and manipulate each other and that He has a master plan that will somehow make all this right someday

I wish I could simply believe that hell is real, without asking when God created it.

If He created it during the first 6 days or later as an add-on. Did He plan for us to be like this? or it just happened?

I wish I could believe that it is possible to be a prick all your life but still make it to heaven with 5 mins left on your clock simply by accepting Jesus as your Lord and personal savoir

I wish I could simply believe that the tower of babel was actually tall enough to touch the sky and reach heaven without thinking about how silly that should sound to anyone older than 8 years

I wish I wasn’t even writing this in the first place… But I can’t help it…

My brain will not allow me to even pamper myself for 5 minutes

It will not allow me to place myself in a bubble that will blind me from seeing that this is a messed up world and that the devil never was beneath our feet…

The devil lives among us…
The devil is us
In our feeble attempts to hide from ourselves, we have created the illusion of paradise…

Where we will go after we are done violating this reality

But alas, my brain is telling me that this is the only reality we will ever experience.

And that it will serve us best to be the best versions of ourselves while we have breath For when we do return to the dust, we will stay there forever

Even if someone did give us the breath of life , I doubt He will make the same mistake twice

I wouldn’t allow man to have a second go at anything if I created him

We are inherently evil
And even if we did make it to heaven
The devil will find his way there too
Because we are the devil
Wherever we go
He goes