The Coffin Maker Episode 21

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Dennis Asomani

Stop this concert and talk to me because as you are seeing me here am very annoyed and the way I’m charged up erh, if I get hold of that Michael of a boy the way I will discipline him erh his family won’t even recognise him. How could he subject that pretty lady to such beating like that? Was he thinking he was fighting his fellow man or what? If you saw the lady’s face as she was leaving the house like you might mistake her for Ayitey Powers after receiving a massive beating from Bukom Banku.

Collins Twumasi

Dennis this way that you are showing much interest in the beating, hope you don’t have your eyes for that lady?

Dennis Asomani

Well, you see since we are buddies, I won’t hide things from you. Actually I have been making advances towards her but she is not giving the reception I want, she is playing so difficult for me to get.

Collins Twumasi

How are you expecting to land yourself such a pretty and expensive lady when your finances are not man enough? Thank your stars she has not given in to your demands because talking to you right now my head is banging like the church bell down the road.

Dennis Asomani

What do you mean by that my brother?

Collins Twumasi

Hmmmm, you see I have been sharing her bed with her for some time now if you understand what I mean…..

Dennis Asomani

(cuts in) Herh I say I am a smart guy but you are bad and serious. Eeeiii for you before I think you have thought and before I make a move you are already returning from the place I intended to move to. What is your secret and what motivates you. Tell me this, is she sweet like the way she dresses and looks?

Collins Twumasi

Hmmmm, if you know what am about to tell you like you will run to the church for a special thanksgiving service.

Dennis Asomani

What is it bro? Have you impregnated her already?

Collins Twumasi

Stop this silly jokes and interruptions, Dennis. See the guy was beating Agnes because she has infected him with STD.

Dennis Asomani

Huh!!! What did you just say my brother? Do you mean that beautiful, gorgeous, hot, sweet and succulent lady is a carrier of STD? Tell me you are joking and that you are pulling my legs so that I don’t continue pursuing her again!

Collins Twumasi

Do I look like a clown or a comedian? I am damn serious about what am saying and if you want you can continue with your advances.

Dennis Asomani

Then this girl has mess up big time but wait oooo, since you are also eating from the same bowl it means you have also gotten your share of the national cake ooo, you have also contracted the diesease ooo.

Collins Twumasi

That is the reason why I am seated here quietly and the worse part is that my woman whom I will be settling down with very soon is also demanding for sex without protection and as we are talking she should be here any moment from now.

Dennis Asomani

Oboy, you are in a tight corner paa oooo, I don’t wish to be like you for even a second. Eeeiii you are really in a deep shit. My God thank you for saving me from this disease, herh so if she gave in to my demands like I will also be here thinking of how to get a solution to my problem erh. Well let me leave you to think about how you will solve your own problem wai. (rises to leave)

Collins Twumasi

Mmmm, Dennis so how far with the orange seller you were pursuing? Have you gotten her already or she is playing hard to get?

Dennis Asomani

Oh, that one, I clear her already and she will even come and sign this evening also. You know I don’t waste time when women play in my territory, that girl is something else my brother, you need to see how she twist and whine her waist when she on top of me. My brother never underestimate those sellers, I mean banku seller, orange seller, egg seller, groundnut seller, wakye seller, koko seller, tiger nut (atadwe) seller and not forgetting those who sell the local medicines. They can easily make you forget your name and where you come from, you need to try some one of this days when you cure yourself.

Collins Twumasi

Herh, come and sit down because you have equally contracted the disease, my brother.

Dennis Asomani

What do you mean by I have also contracted that disease? We are far from April you know!!!

Collins Twumasi

Well, let me give you a breakdown of the whole thing, you see I have been firing the house girl of my boss also and the gateman also does fire her. On the other hand, the orange seller is also a customer of the gateman who has been sleeping with him like 6months now, I have caught them like 3times even as they were doing it. So have you seen the equation and picture clearly now?

Dennis Asomani

(takes his seat again) My God!!! This girl is wicked and I will kill her, she always lies to me that she is seeing only me and on the other hand I feel pity for her because I have been deceiving her of marriage all this while. I will kill her if she comes close to me this evening, because she has been cheating on me all this while with that stupid gateman.

Collins Twumasi

Please don’t kill her wai, you came to meet the gateman in the game first and do you now understand why Michael went to beat Agnes?

Dennis Asomani

Herh, this is really serious, how can this girl do this to me after all what I did for her?

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POLICE STATION

Agnes Kyerewaa

Good morning officer please I want to lodge an assault complain but first I want to know if my uncle the commander is in his office?

Officer

He is not in at the moment but you can call him and find out his current location if you have his number. It will be prudent for me to take down your statement first then I will give you an extract or a police form so you take it to the hospital for treatment because I can see you have been brutally assaulted by some group of people.

Agnes Kyerewaa

Hmmmm, actually it is one person who did this to me.

Officer

Is the person mad? Does the person see you as a punching bag or did you go stealing or flirting around with the person’s partner?

Agnes Kyerewaa

None of the above officer.

Officer

Well even if you did any of the things I mentioned, under no circumstances must the person put the law in his or her hands to damage your face like that. Even Bastie Samir didn’t do this to Bukom Banku on the day they fought each other. I will take your statement then direct you to the DOVSU unit of the police station where a colleague of mine trained specially for this kind of crime will take over and tell you what to do.

As the statement of Agnes Kyerewaa was been taken the commander walks in and engages the officer at the counter in a conversation.

Officer

(stands in attention form) Under you sir!!! Good morning and welcome sir.

Commander

Good morning Constable. How are you and hope everything is under control?

Officer

Yes, please.

Commander

Nice one, tell the station master to see me right away when you are done with the complainer in front of you. (takes some to his office)

Agnes Kyerewaa

Uncle good morning so didn’t you see me standing here?

Commander

(turns back to see who was talking) Excuse me who are you because I don’t know you but your voice sounds like my niece.

Agnes Kyerewaa

Uncle this Kyerewaa Agnes your niece.

Commander

Don’t be silly, how can my pretty niece look like a monster like you? My friend, stop this nonsense before I make my boy lock you up for character impersonation.

Agnes Kyerewaa

Uncle, it is me Kyerewaa your niece.

Commander

Gracious God, my goodness what happened to you or better still who did this to you? Constable, bring her to my office and take the statement there rather.

The three people moved to the commander’s office and the statement of Agnes Kyerewaa is taken as she narrates her ordeal and whatever happened to her to the very end.

Commander

Herh, so this stupid boy had the audacity, tenacity and capacity to lay his filthy hands on you after taking you for a ride huh. Doesn’t he know the family you are coming from or does he think you don’t have a family which will stand to fight for you? Constable, get me the Swat Unit Commander right now because we are going for an emergency arrest operation. I will squeeze the life out of this idiot who had the nerves to lay a finger on you.

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OPANA’s HOUSE:

Akua Yankey

Kwaku Mike my instincts is battling my conscience, am getting a premonition that something bad is about to happen. I want you to leave the house to my younger brother’s place for some time my son, when I and your father put things under control I will send a word over for you to come.

Michael Ansah

Mummy you worry too much, nothing will happen to me in this house. Agnes can’t do anything because she has no one to run to, I am waiting for her and what she has to offer and I promise to face her squarely.

Akua Yankey

My son don’t ever underestimate the power of a woman, women have a way of doing things to get men in serious trouble. Don’t say I didn’t warn you when the worse happens oooo, I have seen some before.

Michael Ansah

Mummy that was then in the past and now is present and the 21st century. Don’t worry yourself over a toothless bulldog because it can’t bite.

Akua Yankey

Yooo!!! Am advising you and you are rubbing your testicles. Time will tell

Tbc