The Coffin Maker Episode 19

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Opana walks into the house pretending to be drunk and falling down as he entered the living room.

Akua Yankey

Not again this evening Kofi Ansah, why have you decided to engage me in such hefty job recently? You come home heavily drunk that you can’t locate the way to your mouth even. This nonsense must stop because I didn’t bargain for this at all, I know what to do all the same. Herh where are you Adjoa Bernice, come and serve your father.

Bernice Ansah

(walks in with a tray with bowls on it)

Ah, papa why have you drunk yourself to stupor this evening like that?

Akua Yankey

Hmmm, this is not the first time my dear, for some days now this is how he comes home looking. Oh you don’t know because anytime he comes you will be in your room, after this I have to carry him to the bathroom and bathe him. The annoying thing is the noisy sound he makes when he gets drunk, he snores like a Bedford car climbing a steep mountain.

(starts to feed her husband)

Bernice Ansah

Hahahahaha, mummy you and your funny comments. Well am going back to my room.

Akua Yankey

Is your brother in his room?

Bernice Ansah

No, he is not back from town as he left the house this morning. But mummy he has been acting strange lately.

Akua Yankey

How do you mean by that Adjoa Bernice? Your brother is hot because of the pressure your father is mounting on him.

Bernice Ansah

But it is true mummy, he should by now be working in the city and sending me money and dresses.

Akua Yankey

Oh, shut up, are you God? Do you think he enjoys his current condition he finds himself now? You will get to his age and realise that life is not a child’s play.

Michael Ansah walks in but he didn’t want his mother or sister to see the polythene bag he had in his hands so he throws it behind one of the chairs in the living room without them seeing it. He is told to go in for his food and because he is so tired and hungry after eating his meal he goes to bed without coming for the drugs. Later on at dawn when Akua Yankey wakes up for her early morning chores something pushes her to pay the pocket of Opana a visit and that is when she stumbles on the remaining condom and as she is about to drop the trouser and confront her sleeping husband 3pregnancy kits falls down infront of her. She picks it up, checks the results and with her experience as a woman  reads the results on the pregnancy kit. It immediately triggers anger in her.

Akua Yankey

I knew you always coming home recently drunk had a very serious reason. Kofi Ansah wake up from your stupid sleep and give me a proper account of this things.

(she throws the condom and pregnancy kits at Opana which wakes him up immediately)

Opana

(yawning)

What is all this noise about this morning?

Akua Yankey

I asked who those stupid pregnancy kits are for and what about the condom?

Opana

(knowing he has gotten his wife in the corner he wants)

What do you know condoms are used for?

Akua Yankey

I know what they are used for and don’t try to patronize me Kofi Ansah because I know condoms are either 3 or 4 in a pack so where are the remaining ones.

Opana

(stands up from the bed and moves to the leaving room)

I see you have been learning a lot lately and I really like that.

Akua Yankey

(screaming whiles following her husband for explanation)

Don’t play smart with me, who are those pregnancy kits for? I knew it from the very moment when you started coming home drunk that all is not well. You have been cheating on me all this while with this small small girls who don’t even know how to wash their panties well erh? No female on this earth will pack into this house to share anything with me if you care to know. I won’t allow that…..

Opana

(interrupts angrily)

Enough of this bullshit woman, shut that gutter you call a mouth before I tie it up with my bare hands. I have even kept quite without uttering a single word for the stupid things you have been doing also.

Bernice Ansah

(who was cleaning the living room all this while and stumble on the polythene bag his brother dropped there)

Good morning papa and mummy please can you tone down your voices because it is too early and all the neighbours and tenants are still in their rooms perhaps listening to your argument. Please you can settle this in a matured way.

Opana

Good morning, my dear. Woman you heard what your wise daughter said and Adjoa Bernice what do you have in your hands?

Bernice Ansah

Papa I just stumbled upon it when I was cleaning the room so am now about to check the content in the polythene bag. (brings the content out)

Opana

(seeing the boxes and he remembers everything that the pharmacist told him the previous day)

I saw this medicine yesterday at the pharmacy shop and I know it cost the person who bought it four hundred and eighty-five cedis (485.00).

Bernice Ansah

Papa, this medicine are antibiotics used in treating STD oooo.

Opana

I know my dear but how did you know that the medicine does that kind of service for the body? Well I know you have experience in such field since you have seen and done it all.

Akua Yankey

You should be concerned about the questions I asked you that you haven’t answered yet.

Kwaku Mike hears the voices in the living room and joins his family members to ask what the problem was:

Michael Ansah

Good morning papa and mummy, please what is the noise about?

Opana

The noise is about the boxes on the coffee table there and I know you are the owner of the drugs so can you tell us why you bought it.

Michael Ansah

(playing smart)

Oh, yes papa I bought it for my friend who is down with a serious asthma.

Opana

Ah Mike you are a fool, you are a pathetic liar who has no common sense at all, I guess it’s only book knowledge that you have but for home sense you are really not having some. Which asthmatic patient takes miscellaneous antibiotics meant for STD as a solution to his problems. I sometimes wonder if you smoke shit from a weed smoker because you sometimes act weird. If you like keep your problems to yourself and carry your cross on your own my boy. I am seizing the medicine till the owner comes in and claims ownership of it.

Michael Ansah

I beg of you papa to release this medicine for me because it was purchased on a high recommendation to help solve a very important but delicate issue.

Opana

My friend I can’t buy and sell your explanation. Now tell me the truth to this question am about to ask you because it will either break or make you. Who is the owner of this medicine and what was the motive for acquiring it?

Michael Ansah

(had to drop his pride and open up to his siblings)

Papa please it is mine and I bought the medicine to threat some STD infections I have got.

Akua Yankey

(covers her mouth with what she just heard)

Jessssssssssssus Christ!!! Kwaku Mike from where did you contract this sickness and why haven’t you bothered to alert me of it. How long has it been on you as you contracted the infection? And where did you get it from?

Michael Ansah

Not too long ago, mummy and I got it from……. A..g….

Opana

You better mention the name of the fool who gave you that infection before I slap the infection out of your system.

Michael AnsahI got it from Agnes the tenant who leaves in the room adjacent our house.

Opana How much did the medicine cost and from where did you get money to purchase it?

Michael Ansah

It cost me almost five hundred cedis papa and I borrowed the money from a friend.

Akua Yankey

(breathing out of relieve)

Awwww, Kwaku Mike so how are you going to pay him back since you are not working?

Opana

That is none of your business woman, the stubborn fly follows the corpse to the grave. You were here when I brought in a warning from the lady in this house, you people taught I was exaggerating or framing up a story against my own son. Now have you seen the end results? Woman meet me in the bedroom now.

OPANA’s BEDROOM

Opana

Well, I have been planning all along to give you money to start a new business but I guess you couldn’t wait until the eleventh hour for Christ to come. You took matters into your own hands because you thought I was drunk and had drunk my mind also, you took from me an amount of two thousand five hundred cedis, well you can…

Akua Yankey

(cuts in and goes on her knees)

My husband I swear with my 2big breast that the amount I took from you is not up to the amount you are quoting.  I only took one thousand seven hundred and fifty five cedis forty pesewas.

Opana

(smiling in his head because he had gotten the actual figure he wanted to know)

Clap for yourself Akua, you had the impudence and nerves to invade my privacy and do away with money of your choice. Okay I was earlier planning to give you one thousand five hundred cedis so use that to start your business and the two hundred and fifty five cedis forty pesewas use it as a house keeping money to run the house. I am travelling to go and see some chainsaw operators to buy some woods. I will be back on  Saturday, and try to put your house in order because you have failed me as a wife and mother to my children.

Akua Yankey

(bows her head in shame)

Thank you, my husband and am sorry for my action, it won’t repeat itself again.  I will deal with every problem in the house before you return.

Opana

I have heard you. You are my wife and hence you will be one person who will hurt me the most, stand up and come and hug me.

Akua Yankey

(face beaming with you and happiness)

My husband since we have solved our problem now and you have forgiven me can we make love to seal it?

Opana

Bad woman!!! Come and give it to me like it’s our first time.

Meanwhile Michael Ansah has dashed out of the house with anger fully written on his face to take action on something.

Where do you think he is going to?