Their last conversations played over again in his head
“You know brother, I think father loves you but he doesn’t know how to tell you because he had been pretty fxxked up to you all this years and right now his heart has been built to not give in.”
“I do Adams I do, I pray every day that one day I would come home and see you both laughing and hugging each other and that mother would be healthy and strong again and we would be that happy family I know you want. I think something is wrong with dad..now that I am a certified resident doctor, I would fix him’’ Damien laughs taking a gulp of his 6th bottle for the night
“Yeah, while you are at it, fix his brains too, he needs a reset, like a computer booth” Adams laughs keeping his eyes on the road “ you know, you have had enough to drink D, I don’t want him to say I took you to get you drunk”
“hey..no. its my happy day I can do what the hell I want…I am so happy’’ he screams, Adam laughs
“besides you took more than 5 bottles, and you snorted that coke “
“because you forced me, making me feel guilty for not indulging you and your friends, crazy by the way’’
Damien snorted “Lydia had a fine ass, whoof! she was grinding into me all night.. I swear I wanted to finish the party back at home but I was so high we did it in the bathroom” he said laughing, Adam shakes his head
‘’I hope you used protection?”
“ I may be high but not stupid besides, when last did you have some?’’
“Too long. But I don’t concern myself with girls. I have more important things to think of like, what to do with my life aside writing”
Damien drowns his drink, lighting a cigarette, he inhales “You are going to be a renowned novelist and get a writers grant and be the netk J.k Rowlings or some bad ass author, and then you are going to be sought all over the world making movies and maybe own your own writing firm and movie studio and when you come home you are going to have this hot banging wife you would sink yourself into and live happily ever after. Just don’t wait to fall in love though, I hate seeing you alone..” Damien sniffs
“I am not alone, I have you and mother, “
“Always and forever?” Damien turns to him
“Always and forever” Adams ruffles his brothers hair
“ And I know even if you don’t admit it to me…you love pa.,,and because I know one day all this is going to be history I am going to make sure even if I grow old and grey, I’ll make sure you both feel that love a father and son ought to feel, I would make sure of that. Believe that brother”
“oh don’t dream. There is nothing between me and that man”
“well we shall see about that I would remind you of this day when you both are hugging and crying and holding each other and asking for forgiveness’’ I would remind you.’ ‘
Adams shook his head, “Yeah, thats like till hell freezes over or I see an angel with white glorious wings”
“hmm till then. In the main time I am so fxxking high I swear I can fly…wait..I can fly!!” he opens the roof of the car, stands on the chair, spreading his hands wide and throwing his head back he screams “I believe I can flyyyyyy!!!” he keeps bellowing going off key with R-kelly’s hit song, Adams is laughing and shaking his head, the car climbs over a stone he didn’t see and that caused Damien to stagger a bit..he wasn’t holding on to anything, and they were nearing the bend and so he reaches out for his brother, tugging at his jeans
“Hey D..STOP IT!! Get inside..Damien get in and sit..C’mon mehn”
“No!! I am flying baby whooohooo!!’’ he screams. Adam was trying to focus on the dark road and trying to pull his brother in, he leaned in towards him with one hand while the other one was on the steer wheel
‘’hey D..Stop it get in.. Damien don’t be a dick get in”
“ I love you Adams, I love you mother..I love you OLD BAT GERALDDDDD!! AND I LOVE MY LIFE I AM A FXXKING RESIDENT DOCTOR..WHHOOOOHOOO!!!’’ he screams closing his eyes and leaning all the way back..
“DAMN IT DAMIEN GET INTO TH-” and so he looks away from the road just briefly to drag his brother to sit. He shouldn’t have, a truck swerved in from the bend without horning, and it was dark and the streets lights were dim…
He turned back too late, he tried to hold the brakes too late, it hits them from the left pushing them off the road and over the cliff.
He literally saw Damien flying off the car and he reached out to catch him but he was too far, his seat belt was holding him down. The car plunged downwards rolling and hitting rocks a couple of times. He remembered emptying his insides as the car kept rolling and he became dizzy, his head hitting the chair before he finally passed out calling ‘’DAMIEN!!’’
When he opened his eyes, bolts of pain shorts through his ribs and arms, his head was bleeding and the car bag was suffocating him. He could hear voices overhead and see the dancing lights of the siren from the mirror of the car.. but he couldn’t hear his brother’s voice..
Then he knew why.. Damien was a few feet from where the car landed, his skull was broken with his brains all spluttered all over the rock he landed on.. his eyes where closed and he had the smile he had on his face just before they began to fall.
They said he screamed like a mad man when they came down for him, they said he wouldn’t let go of his brother when he got to him, they said he cried for days unending not leaving his graveside, they said he tried to take his life that’s why he was restrained for weeks.
What ever they said didn’t prepare him for the torment he felt day and night seeing his brother with a broken skull and a smile on his face. He wondered if he knew, He wondered if he suffered or died as soon as he hit hard rock, he would have felt better to know if he didn’t suffer.
Nothing prepared him for the guilt and the anger he felt and the agony he was going through, for because of him his brother who had a promising future died.
Gerald had become a mad man on hearing the news, he had carried a gun to end his life, but the police had restrained him telling him it was an accident. But he wouldn’t have blamed him, not even when he had called him a “Murderer!!!! Murderer!! You killed him because you knew he was the only important person in my life, my boy my boy you killed him” Gerald had broken down and cried over his son’s body.,and when he had looked back up all the hatred and anger he felt towards him intensified. Adam could literally see it take form
“I am sorry I am sorry I didn’t see the truck I didn’t..i didn’t” Adam fell to his knees and cried.
Gerald couldn’t arrest him because he couldn’t prove it in court that he had killed his brother, oh he tried, but the truck driver came forward, he had bad brakes and his tyres had punctured due to the spikes he ran over. He served a couple of months in prison for negligence and then he was freed.
It was an accident.
Gerald never forgive him and he never forgive himself. He never could bear the hurt in his mother’s eyes when she screamed into his shoulders and cried for her boy. And then she gets a stroke, which paralyzed her .
His father wanted him out. Ordered him out but he couldn’t leave his mother, she was alone. His father drank more, cursed more, going back to the way he was and worse before Damien arrived. His mother’s grief was silent but yet loud. He couldn’t take her away because his father wouldn’t let him, and he couldn’t leave her alone even though his father wanted to kill him .
So he fought him.
Their hate for each other was unparalleled, Gerald took one look at him and went into a fit of rage and a slew of curses flew from his tongue. He only tolerated him because his sick wife, his mother didn’t want anyone else to take care of her and wanted her only son to be by her side.
Adam stayed just because of his mother, he knew if there was any chance of him and his father ever having a cordial relationship, it went away the day Damien died.