I pinch myself as punishment for being silly for I am a very sensitive person and the worst punishment I already have in my heart. I had watched her, sitting on the lap of her husband and felt envy. I was single and terribly wished for what she had. She looked good, he obviously was taking good care of her. But here she was, lying cold in the cruel hands of death, her secrets lying bare beside her, the OK woman I had seen was sadly a dying ghost, a strong woman broken by a heartless man, abused, mistreated and tortured. What I had seen as paradise outside was hell inside. In that moment, I valued the peace in my heart, in my mind and in my soul.