While you slept, I stood over you , watching you sleep, watching the world go to sleep.
while you slept, I stood awake, protecting the evils over you , hiding you in the shadows of my being, and kept you away from the withered hands of death.
while you slept, I lost sleep myself, letting my own worries go while I carried your sins on my shoulders .
while you slept, all was well..
And maybe I should have let you sleep for ever.. that’s what I should have done.
but instead I woke you up, I woke you up from your slumber..
now blood, trail at your wake..
while you slept , the little child by your feet was save..
Now I should have known better than to let you open your eyes and see the world in bright day. that was indeed my mistake.
You watched it first on TV, the gory, the pain, the deaths,it facinated you, it excited you. ..You, wanted to explore , to try, to experience and you did ..you did. the first time you tried it, it was your mother’s favourite cat.
You had lured it to the dark corners, when it got there you had used a rope, choking it out of life.. Cats they say had nine lives, but you killed it Eleven times , just to be safe.
You were just seven then.
I watched you do this, I was standing behind you in the shadows…
I figured it was a phrase, a phrase you soon come out from but you didn’t. .
instead you became worse .
the next time, you had gone to your brother’s dog, while it laid on its bed and it’s eyes closed, you slit it’s neck with a sharp knife, watching it quake to it’s death and it’s bed suddenly became red.
the third time was when you went to school, while the kids laughed and played, you tipped the white contents of a rat poison you saw at home, into your best friend’s juice, and you watched her foam in her mouth ..and her eyes suddenly went into her head.
You didn’t cry , you just stood there while the other kids wailed and cried, running to get the teacher , you stood there, with a small smile on your face..and when they asked you how it happened ..you said…you didn’t know.
No, none suspected a child who was just 10 years old.
And soon, you began to grow more excited, the thrill was like food to your hunger…and you progressed..
You would kill the Pets around your neighbourhood, you would slice the neck of an unsuspecting stranger , and you would let the fire burn the curtains as you leave the house of a friend.
For years you did this and I stood idly by and watched , watching you rid harvoc ..and pain ..without a care in the world. I had hoped one day, one day all this would stop. but instead as soon as you woke up from sleep, a new thought is formed and another person you crave to kill.
Like a drug it made you high, like medicine to your weak heart you needed it.
While you slept, I went out and drank, I couldn’t tell your father what you had done.. I couldn’t tell anyone the bodies you had let burn.. not even your mother.. I couldn’t.
I couldn’t even confess to the priests of the things I saw on a daily.. No.
They would call you evil, they would put you away if you are lucky or they would kill you.
how do i let blood of my blood, die at the hands of another.. I couldn’t.
So I looked the other way when you did this.. Maybe i was scared , scared of the person you have become.
I stood behind you as you sliced the tongue out of a child’s mouth,and stuffed it inside her throat and watch her choke .
I saw you take the keys when no one was looking and you ran the old man down, crushing his skull and you laughed and laughed. I was sitting with you in the car, but you didn’t care.
I watched you let the saw go, slicing through your brother’s body.. you were at the other end, his blood splashing to your face ..untill he fell to the ground and all that was within him scattered to the ground…and just to make sure he was dead you sawed his heart into tiny different pieces. .
YoI thought it was poetic.
But I loved him dearly. ..but you didn’t care .
I also saw when you let the pillow drop, and you pressed down on it as it made grandma unable to breath. while she struggled for breaths you danced on your feets, you were stronger and she was weaker..
it was sort of an ironic little jest…
she used to bring me sweets and make sweaters for me. I saw you stab the security man ten times, all because he refused to let you go into the club because he knew you were just fifteen and you had no business going into a club for adults and old men. but you never liked to be told not to do something you wanted to do.
I watched you wait for him, I watched you sneak up behind him when he was taking a leak, and then you had plunged that knife into him , he was too shocked to defend himself and you kept going and going and going till he was dead.
I saw you…sink that baby, 3 months old into the bathtub that you had left running… how you watched her float and then with one hand you had pushed her down, her tiny little cries did nothing to draw pity on you… you pressed her down untill she floated upside down, her small limbs done dangling and her beautiful little face, much like yours, stopped smiling. I stood behind you…watching her go, and I prayed she finds peace…away from her mother who didn’t deserve to live. And I would miss her baby babies and her innocent pure love …
She was your child. . your first child. .but because this thing within you made you what you are. .no one was safe around you. ..no one.
I watched all this things done by you and I felt sick…I felt sick and I couldn’t let it go on for another time.
so while you slept..as I watched you sleep.. I was determined to never let you wake up…Because with you gone…People around you would be safe.
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I needed to cause you pain so that others might receive joy.. I grab the knife , I brought it to your neck. ..
I have to kill you.. I have yo kill you…I need to kill you.
But as I place the knife to your neck, your eyes shoots open and you stop my hand… Fear grips me as we begin to struggle, falling off the bed and struggling
You squeezed my hand and cause me to lose the knife…pushing my hand away from your neck. . Defeated I fall to the ground crying, I had failed. .I had failed. now you were awake , and now..more people would die…Blood is what you desire to see.. it’s the only thing that keeps you happy. ..
“Get up ” You tell me..
“Get up and look at yourself ” you say..
“GET UP!!!” You scream at me…
I fearfully get up, shaking ..
You pull me to the mirror and tell me “Look at yourself. .look…Don’t you see how beautiful you look, do you want to end it all, do you want to die just because of some weaklings dead.. don’t you want to live and enjoy the feeling of taking another’s life…don’t you feel like a God.?..look..look into the mirror and tell me you don’t see it..look into the mirror and tell me you don’t enjoy it..the killings. ..look…LOOK!”‘ You said to me
And then I look, into the mirror and then I look,at first I see the tears in my eyes… I see my rosy cheeks and then I see that I am indeed beautiful. ..I touch my neck…I look at my hands. ..Yes. .Yes I didn’t want to end it all..I wanted to live..I wanted to be alife…..Yes. ..I wanted it all…” Then you smiled and then I smiled. .
You laughed and then I laughed..
You laughed some more and I laughed even more..
We reach for the knife together, we take it back to the mirror..and then we look at ourselves..
Your eyes were my eyes. .
Your mouth was my mouth..
Your body was my body..
And your hand that held the knife was my hand.. And then You..me..look at the mirror and then we smile..
“Who do you think we should kill next?” You ask me..staring into the mirror, your mouth moving thesame time my mouth was moving.
“Maybe..Maybe the girl who keeps singing under the tree at night with her boyfriend. ..Maybe her blood would cause her guitar strings to be less rusty” And we laughed and laughed…
And then we walked out the door, the mirror showing the back of a woman..alone , with a knife in her hand. She had been talking to herself.
They say she was a disturbed child…
But they didn’t realise that…she had always had someone else inside of her..
In the modern world…She was termed as having an alter-ego
But no one knew about that…
No one but her.