I gently caressed her laps, my arms went a bit further upwards into the forbidden arena. It was entruiging, alluring and mind blowing, but unfortunately , Dami was already fast asleep- bad luck and alcohol effects.
In as much I wanted to dive into her, it would be termed rape and far from love making. I still have a bit of self respect and dignity , we are not a Menagerie in human form. I carefully untangled my arms and moved a few paces backwards. Turned and open the door, only to glance back at her for a while, beheld her curves then shut the door firmly..
I hoped so dearly for the best and still afraid of the worst case scenario- loosing my husband to his work. He was within reach but I couldn’t grasp him even though I tried . The thought was scary enough. I sat down. The chairs pinched me and I stood up immediately. My heart raced fast and I prayed: Lord bring him home safe tonight. Just let him come back.
” Mum? Is daddy back yet? Dave said as he wiped his face , getting rid of any sleep hangovers. I must have woke him up with my frantic pacing up and down. I glanced surreptitiously at the wall clock. The big Joe said” 11: 45 pm.
“No son” I said ” Go to your room and rest OK?. “I’ ll wait for your father, until he comes back” I felt huge amounts of sympathy in my bones, his facial expressions made me quiver with fear.
“I want to wait with you , please”
” No honey, I ‘ll be fine . Don’t worry about me” I said as my arms smoothly brushed his left shoulder ,raising him to his feet. ” Get up….let’s get you to bed. Its really late”
Dave sighed. Looked at the dinning table and said
” Mummy who is going to eat all these dishes you prepared? Too bad Daddy is not back yet and my appetite is gone”
I paused for some seconds , my eyes became heavy, a tear trickled down leaving the white balls glassy.
“Mummy, now you are crying” he continued ” Its my birthday and I should be sad, not you” I felt a touch of ambivalence , laughter came forth and pain disapperaed. I chuckled
” Haha..I’m sorry Dave… Mummy is too emotional” His lips brightened my cheeks with a touch of love.
“Goodnight Mother..I love you so much”
“Goodnight baby, I love you so very much” I said while standing from my squatting position.
My mind tried to give answers to the rhetoritical questions in my head. *All of them would be answered tonight.
The door creeked open I immediately feigned sl»eep . I shut my eyelids perfectly without flinching . I could feel his heart beat, it was really him. His breath was fresh. I sniffed his shirt like a rabbit when he kissed me on the forehead. Clean, no sweat and suspicious.
I opened an eye and saw him scanning the room with a surprise look on his face. Oops!!! He nearly caught me peeking. I shut my eyes again penultimately before he turned.
“Love, love wake up” Gabriel tapped me on the shoulder. “Wake up its late. Let’s go to bed” I let one eye open like I was indeed aroused from a deep sleep.
“You could have at least called ” I began.
“Let me explain…..” I cut him short and said
” Please do just that! Your son was worried sick waiting for you since yesterday. You just came back this morning at 1am to explain. Explain what exactly? I said checking the time.
“Calm down now Kate. Take it easy, my mind was faster than my tongue. I wanted to let it all out. The anger overflowed . Oh help me lord.*—–
” Kate listen… ” He began again.
” I’ve tried listening for the past seven years. I have been listening…. I know we need money… Yes.. But what’s the essence of it ,if we can’t be happy? His eyes betrayed his thoughts and I wanted an apology. *say it goddmit, just fuvking say it…say you ‘re sorry. Then he unexpectedly shouted
” OK fine , I go to work early and come back late.. So what’s the big deal huh? What?
I couldn’t believe my eyes , this was not my husband . This is not the Gabriel I gave my virginity , the man I sacrificed so much for. His eyes were blood shot with anger. ” Everything I do, I do for you and our son Dave” He continued ” its not just about me .. Can’t you see I’m tired huh? Cant you see ? I’m sick and tired of this poor life. I’m sick and tired of eating from hand to mouth”
” I grew up without a father, my mother and sister was all I had . I begged for food all my life. Now I’m trying so hard to give us a better life and you call me selfish?. Go on, tell the whole neighbourhood that your husband doesn’t sleep at home because he is working very hard” He said. I was stoned with silence but then I got a bigger shock.
” Gabriel what happened to your ring? Where is it? I said trying to refrain from the thought. He sighed..
” Its in my bag”
” why would you put your wedding ring there? I said this time a bit calm but deep down I boiled with anger.
” Safety measures at work” He said. I couldn’t believe my ears. Could my husband’s love for me be dead already? Did he place his work before us- me and my son? What have I done wrong? He walked out on me and I caught his arm
” Please Gabriel, please….. What’s happening to you- to us? Tell me I want to understand” I said with tears in my eyes. He brushed me off and said
” Im being truthful and sincere, your problem is that you are doubting me” I watched as he banged the door loudly behind him and broke down terribly into tears , crying my eyes out.