The Coffin Maker Episode 18

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Opana

I will pretend as if am drunk again tonight and get a better confirmation so I know the next step to take. If you smell what Opana is cooking like you will get your bowl ready to be served.

The rest of the day went on smoothly but Opana nutured and haboured pain in him as he reminisced on what happened to him the previous day, he left the shop to the palm wine joint to drink his head off but today he drunk with caution so that he wouldn’t exceed his drinking limit. Before he left he bought extra 2bottles to take home and some few meters to his house he pretended that he was helplessly drunk. He got home to meet his wife at the living room watching a kumawood movie and laughing at the funny display of Akrobeto and Kwadwo Nkansah Lil Wayne.

Akua Yankey

Not again Kofi, why have you decided to take this path? You came home heavily drunk last night and today too you have repeated it again, I know things aren’t going on well for you in this house but drinking won’t solve the problem either. All the same as someone goat dies, someone’s pot also smells good. Let me feed you and bathe you after that, I thought you will come home with happiness judging from what happened this morning. We could have played the grand finally this evening as you had manage to make me few like a 25years lady within. All the same it will happen at the right time.

Akua Yankey again puts the bottles of palm wine in the fridge and feeds her husband then takes him to the bathroom and bathe him. She brought him back to the bedroom and lies next to him on the bed admiring the love of her life sleep like a new baby without any worries or problems. After admiring him for a while she felt asleep and woke up at half past 4am, as she stood up to do her morning chores, she saw some cedi notes at the breast pocket of her husband and quickly she got tempted and took some reasonable amount of notes from the money in the pocket. She pleaded with God for forgiveness as she hid the money in her pant.

Fast forward:

Opana wakes up to meet breakfast in bed. He ate, took his bath and before he left the house, he throws a mindblowing question to his wife and children at the living room.

Opana

For sometime now, I have come to realise that the money I always bring home keeps reducing the next day. If you know you are the one you better start confessing in a matured and professional way for me to forgive the person.

Bernice Ansah

Papa since when did stealing take effect in this house? You know when you leave or mistakenly drop your money in this house, you come back to meet your thing so where from this conception.

Akua Yankey

(feeling guilty but had to play a tough person)

Say it again my daughter, his money started dwindling the very moment he started coming home late and drunk. Who knows whether you spent it on those drunkards or you even gave it out to a new girl you have gotten out there?

Opana

So, you think I will come home drunk if truly I have gotten myself a new girlfriend huh? Not to worry, since I know now that the spirits of the people I sell coffin to, come and pay me a visit and liquidate my finances, I know what to do. “If the hunter has learnt how to shoot without missing his target, the bird will also learnt to fly and not to perch on any tree branch”.

Akua Yankey

I hope you haven’t landed yourself with a girl or planning to get one because I won’t allow that, not even for a day.

Bernice Ansah

Yes, I support you mummy. We won’t allow anyone to share our father with you as you are still alive, strong and beautiful.

Akua Yankey

Thank you, my daughter for standing behind me, I know I have a battalion to stand and fight for me.

Opana

Now am been robbed in my own house and the culprits decide to rebel against me? I know my suspects and soon I will come chasing after them. For you Adjoa Bernice I don’t really trust you and I will say you are my prime suspect followed by your elder brother. Leticia and Deborah are in school so they are out of this hunt, if you know you are behind this theft issue just confess to me so I drop my charges and plans right here and now.

Michael Ansah

Papa the fact that I have kept mute all this while doesn’t mean I am guilty or I know anything about what is going on. Please I beg of you not to involve me in this issue of yours.

Opana

Don’t worry my good people, I just know what to do which has kept me in a very comfortable lead because before any of you think then I have thought. Remember I came to the world long before any of your saw the sunlight.

Opana storms out of the house in great furry to his shop. When he gets there the first thing he did was to count the money left on him to see how much was taken from him today by his suspect.

Opana

(whispering to himself)

So, my wife Akua Yankey thinks she is smart but she doesn’t know that am faster and way smarter than her. My plan is just unfolding itself just the way I want it and soon she will fall into my trap like a mouse and when I grab her, she won’t get any excuse to give.

Three Days On:

Opana goes to a place to enquire if what he ordered for is ready.

Opana

Hello my brother, I saw your missed calls and I trust my things are ready?

Pharmacist

Oh yes, I have managed to get some for you even though it wasn’t easy. The way you made me suffer you have to increase the money for me ooo?

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Opana

Hahahaha, don’t worry my brother, you have done well so I will also make you smile so that when next I call on you, you will gladly assist me. Now add a pack of a scented condom to it for me.

Pharmacist

Okay sir, I have just what you want so let me pack your stuff for you, I made the thing three instead of the two you ordered.

Opana

(seeing some other boxes of drugs on the pharmacist counter)

Ah, you know how to do correct transactions paa ooo but if I may ask, what medicines are this because the packaging looks nice and I perceive they are pretty expensive looking at it.

Pharmacist

Oh, you are right, they are miscellaneous antibiotics used in treating STD infections. This one here is Metronidazole, this is Tindamax, this too is Tinidazole and the last one is Flagyl 375. They are very effective when one takes it, no matter the infection it will flush it out from your system but just that they are very expensive. Am waiting for the person who ordered for it to come for it and pay me.

Opana

So, how much are we talking about here?

Pharmacist

About four hundred and eighty five cedis (485.00).

Opana

Wow, people are really suffering under their clothes, let me pay you and be on the way but remember to keep our little transaction very discreet. You can keep the balance and thanks very much for your assistance.

Pharmacist

Am very grateful sir, I am always at your humble service my boss. Thanks so much.

After some minutes someone walks out from the inner room of the shop, sweating like he was been chased by a mob.

Michael Ansah

Herh, that was close, he nearly caught me.

Pharmacist

Who are you talking about?

Michael Ansah

I’m talking about the man who just left your shop, he is my father and if he caught up with me here and asked me what I was doing here like I won’t get any answer for him but what did he come here to do.

Pharmacist

(remembers the last request of Opana to keep their transaction discreet)

On that man, he came to buy his favourite condom because he said he has a though game with his wife at home and he doesn’t want any more children so he is playing safe.

Michael Ansah

Lol!!! My father will never grow old, I have been hearing of their night crusades in their room sometimes and I become jealous most at times because I sleep alone.

Pharmacist

My friend give me my money and be on your way home. Instead of thinking on how to cure yourself, you are here fantasizing on what two matured people are doing in the room. You sleep alone but have contracted STD!!!

Michael Ansah

My friend respect yourself oooo, the fact that you have helped me acquire these drugs doesn’t mean you can tell me that nonsense.

Opana goes back to the palm wine joint again and just takes a bottle of it and again orders for his usual 2bottles to be taken home. Some few meters to his house he positions the item he bought at the pharmacy shop well in his pocket and brings the condom pack out, he tears and leaves one condom in his pocket, he again gave a devilish smile and changes his walking to his house…

What could be under the sleeves of Opana?

What could be the other thing that Opana bought aside the condom pack?

Can you guess anything?

Tbc