The Coffin Maker Episode 14

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Commander

Just name it and I will do well to honour it.

Opana

Ah well, you asked for it so listen to what I have for you. The three thousand Ghana Cedis (3000) you promised to give my daughter, I am taking it from you as compensation for making my wife and children hear of your illegal affair with my underage daughter. Secondly, you will act as my guardian angel or bodyguard that any crisis I found myself, you will come to my rescue. Thirdly once in a while, I will come for money from you to boost my business and also sponsor my home to be a happy place. Lastly, I will like you to push my son into the Police Service.

Commander

(sweating in an air-conditioned room)

Hmmmm, there are some of your request I can grant easily but for some, they are beyond me.

Opana

(cuts in)

That was not what you told me earlier on, I expect you to just honour your word and grant my request. I will give you time to get back to me later with a reasonable response because I have got someone waiting for me and you add extra two thousand (2000) Ghana Cedis to the three thousand Ghana Cedis (3000) I requested for earlier on.

Commander

Hmmm, this is too much ooo!!!

Opana

Will it be too much to see your naked pictures in tomorrow morning’s Graphic?

Commander

Oh, I wasn’t referring to you even but the truth is I don’t have physical cash on me right now so please I will sign a cheque for you if you don’t mind. I beg of you my brother.

Opana

I don’t like cheques but I will be considerate and accept it and I hope the cheque you will write to me will not have any problem when I go to the bank to cash it.

Commander

Not at all my brother. Please here you are with the cheque, it is an open cheque.

Opana

Very good but please add extra fifty Ghana Cedis (50) to it as I will use it to board taxi to the bank. Mind you, I have a lot of duplicates of the pictures at vantage places so if you ask me to even delete what I showed to you earlier on I still have many to display so don’t try doing anything funny or silly. Now see me off because I have an unfinished business at the charge office.

Commander

(oblige and walks Opana out of his office)

Thanks very much for your understanding and patience, I owe you a very big favour.

Opana

(smiles as they get to the charge office)

Commander, you see this disrespectful lady? I want you to write to the appropriate quarters for her immediate transfer to the worst Police Service district in the country and I mean now.

Commander

My brother, please forgive her because she is one of my best officers I have here and losing her will be a very big blow to me. Corporal Iman Jawula are you sitting down? Go on your knees and start begging him, he has the power and influence to get you out of this place.

Officer

(down on her knees)

Am very sorry Sir. I was only following laid down procedures in this office, I never meant to be rude or disrespectful to you sir.

Opana

Hmmm, you are so lucky I am in a good mood today. Next time learn how to speak with people and don’t let that black khaki you are wearing to deceive you because before a wise young king was born, a stupid old man was already living. You and that stupid smelling criminal there were insulting and threatening me, now see your life, who is laughing last? Get up, go and sin no more.

Opana leaves the police station feeling very happy with himself and how he has been able to get the district commander at his corner.

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Opana’s Compound:

Michael Ansah

Hey Aggie, so did you have to go that length to disgrace me before my father?

Agnes Kyerewaa

You called for it and you deserve every little thing I told him.

Michael Ansah

Oh, really, so why didn’t you inform him of the sexual escapades we have been engaging in already? You made it sound like I was now chasing after you but meanwhile, I have been drilling the oil in you for over 2 years now.

Agnes Kyerewaa

Oh, is that so? After drilling all the big barrels from my oil field as you claim, did my oil get finished? All you’re good at is throwing your waist up and down but you don’t know how to throw your hand and mind to get money. You are very lazy and self-centred.

Michael Ansah

Do you expect a fine boy and a degree holder like me to go and do that silly work? Ah just check me out, my dear, how were you expecting me to go and do a labourer work at the man’s worksite after you introduced me to him as your elder brother? Was that stupid idiot expecting his “brother-in-law” to do labourer’s work on his building site? Hell, no I won’t descend that low whiles am still living in my father’s house.

Agnes Kyerewaa

Elder brother indeed, let your fine boy and degree get to your head and continue to daydream. You will eat your kenkey without fish. Does fine boy or degree put food on the table if you are not working? Even though I wasn’t able to complete secondary school, I have been using what I have to get what I want. Am not proud of it but sometimes a man has got to do what he does just to survive. If you care to know am doing some final touches of my 6-bedroom mansion in the city and my boutique is ready, I will be hanging my pants and bra soon as a form of retirement. Learn to count your teeth with your tongue because time waits for no man. You are not growing any younger by the day and if you don’t make a move in life, you will get nowhere. Move out of your comfort zone. I did that without a degree and see the result now. Learn to say “mine and not ours”. A word should be enough for the wise, fine boy indeed!!!

Michael Ansah

Hmmmm, so you have also joined them huh?

Agnes Kyerewaa

Am not them Mr Fine Boy, I am only telling you the truth as a concerned friend, so, you can either choose to take it or leave it. I have said my own.

Michael

Did you just relate to me as your friend?

Agnes Kyerewaa

You heard me right, were you expecting me to address you as my father or husband? You were just a friend to me and that anything I did with you didn’t have any strings attached.

Michael Ansah

So, you screaming baby more, baby I love you, sweetheart I love it, baby shift my womb were all lies?

Agnes Kyerewaa

Baby boy, wake up and smell the hot coffee because anything said during orgasm are most of the time not true. Yes, you were good and strong in bed but truly you are lacking some qualities which happen to be in your pocket. Men love sex and women love money; you were lucky I was giving you sex for free without asking for a cedi from you in return. I was trying to fall in love with you but your joblessness has been pushing me from you, Mike I need a man who can support me in life and make life easy for me, no woman enjoys poverty or hardship. Make a move and leave your comfort zone.

Michael Ansah

So, all the doggy and Jackhammer sex positions I gave you were all in vain and am never going to have you for life?

Agnes Kyerewaa

(feeling horny hearing the sex positions)

So, because you know my weakness anytime you mention that word you want to use it against me huh, this is not fair at all Mike.

Michael Ansah

(plays smart and pulls Agnes close to him)

I have a lot in stock for you my cupcake. I have gotten a mouth-watering job offer in the city to work with one of the powerful media houses in the country with a mind-blowing salary and accommodation plus an official car. All this while I was searching for a better avenue to break the news to you but you never gave me the opportunity to express myself to you.

Agnes Kyerewaa

Oh, that is good news, I can’t believe am hearing this from you, Mike. Come here and give me that doggy style that I have been depriving you off for some time now. Am dying to have you inside me.

Michael Ansah

Same here darling, you can’t imagine how I have missed that golden honey pot.

Later on:

Agnes Kyerewaa

Gosh, you were on fire Mike, you nearly made me lose my breath, wow! It was mind-blowing and spectacular, where from that strength?

Michael Ansah

The lion takes its strength and courage from its father and I must also confess that it tasted so good and am glad you gave it to me after I lied to you on my job issue.

Agnes Kyerewaa

(feeling betrayed but gets the strength to talk)

Ah, you thought you made a fool out of me, right? Well, take this sex we had some few minutes back as my ex gratia package for you because I have retired you in my life for good. Now leave my room you fool. Your body is older than your brain and don’t worry your head about the sperms you dropped in me because I have infected you with an STD. Visit the hospital early enough to get yourself treated. Idiot!!!

Michael Ansah

(sobbing)

Herh, Aggie you are wicked and heartless. God will punish you for what you have done to me and I will never forgive you for what you have done to me.

Agnes Kyerewaa

Hahahahahaha, I laugh enter your boxer inside, you thought you were taking advantage over me huh? If you want cheap things you get cheap troubles to buy. Mmmm go to the pharmacist and buy this drugs Metronidazole, Tinidazole, Tindamax and Flagyl 375. They are miscellaneous antibiotics and they are very expensive but it will cure you of the infection or you can decide to go to the hospital and go through their injection process. Am so done with you Mr. Fine Boy. Now get out of my room you fool. You think you’ve outsmarted me when I gave you my body, huh? You have just contracted Trichomoniasis and Chlamydia.

Michael Ansah

You are a witch. In fact, you are the devil incarnate and I will deal with you at the right time.

Agnes Kyerewaa

Oh, Mike did you just threaten me? Please, you come for another round of sex so that it cures you of the infection. Hahahahahaha.

Tbc