Story By Mustapha Idris
PORT HARCOURT PRESENT DAY…
“hahaha, you think i am a fool right. You think you can keep me here and go out to sleep around with young girls. You think i don’t know what you are doing right” stephanie shouted from the television.
Me: chaii, thats why i like this girl. She no dey ever play for film. Action babe and she come fine well well. Oh God, this film too tough abeg.
“honey, its not so. Please try and understand things with me. The girl you saw earlier was my cousin” the young man tried to explain.
” rubbish. Nonsense” stephanie jumped up ” the other day, the previous lady was your sister. I saw you with another one, you said she was your niece. The other one was your distant cousin and this one is also your cousin right?” she asked flaring up…
” exactly, you are getting the poin…”
she landed one hot slap on the guy’s face. Una know the way Nigeria film dey dey, they go just blow one hot alarm like this. Na so my television shake.
She ran into the kitchen, carry pestle began to pursue the guy.
the television set was off,, i looked up but nepa still dey. I looked front and saw Samuel standing there with a frown on his face.
Samuel and i were close friends since the university days. We love each other so much eh. We both live in this face me i slap you house. How we go do? Na change we dey!
Samuel: idris you dey craze?
Me: na which kind question be that?
Samuel: so you won tell me say you do watching night through out till today?
Me: hahaha, Mumu. The next day never reach na. See time na still 12…
I stopped half way as i looked as my wall clock.
Me: Jesu!!! Na 5 o clock ooo.
Samuel: so you dey here dey watch film since abi?
I dashed into the bathroom. D–n, i don’t wanna be late for my interview. I desperately wanted to get a job in that company [ALHAJI FAROUK PRODUCTION LTD]. Apart from being the biggest production company in Nigeria, they have many celebrities working with them including my crush, stephanie.
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Me: *bathing with the speed of light* you no go understand abeg. That girl make the film to sweet me for belle.
Samuel: which girl again, i hope its not stephanie.
Me: no dey hope, na she?
Samuel: mtcheeew, that useless girl whey get bad character. seriously, out of all the biggest female celebrities na she i hate pass.
Me: but why na. I no believe una at all. The girl to fine to get bad character abi na because she dey take action for film.
Samuel: see you. why john dumelo stop to dey date her?
Me: because him be idiot.
Samuel: hahaha, see mumu. Na after she tear the guy two dirty slap for public because him no gree open car door for her and he just look one girl wey dey pass.
Samuel: abeg make i go prepare indomie for you before you die out of starvation. You go soon late . Make i just help you becos u no get time to cook again.
Me: *smiling* thanks bro. Thats why i love you…
Samuel: love who, because of indomie you don dey love. Infact i no go do am again.
Me: sorry naaa. I said rushing out of the bathroom.
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