I sigh as I look around the room that was once my room before I moved out to go to campus and now, I’m in the room once again. How ironic of my life? Isn’t it?
I drop the bag to the bed and slump down on it, staring up at the ceiling and thinking about everything that has happened within this one day of mom coming to campus.
We have finally been able to move along really well. Me and Javier. Everything was actually finally going on between us. I mean he has been so sweet and he makes me really happy but that was all a pretense, right? If he had really cared about me then he wouldn’t have just leave like that. He would have stayed with me and we would have made the decision together.
We would have thought about what to do together and we would have found a solution but instead, he didn’t. He didn’t stay with me, instead he left like a coward he is and left me to make the decision myself and now, this is making my decision.
Part of me wants to go to him and talk to him about everything. About us. Part of me wishes that mom had never come to campus because if she hadn’t, then everything would have actually been alright up till now.
But I also guess it’s because we aren’t meant to be anyways, if we were meant to be then that wouldn’t have happened. If we were meant to be then we would have sure everything out.
The door open, jotting me out if the thoughts and I turn my attention to the door as I watch mom walk in and she smiles at me as she walks towards me. She must be really happy because this is what she wanted from the very start.
This is what she wanted me to do and here I am, doing it.
“Honey. ” She smiles at me as she drags the bag and drop it on the floor then taking a seat beside me.
“I know that you feel hurt after whatever happened between the two of you but I want you to know that I was right. He isn’t the right one for you, if he had been then this wouldn’t have happened. You wouldn’t be here right now. ” She says and I nod immediately.
“You’re right now. He isn’t the one for me, I had been foolish to have thought that he is. ” I chuckle, shaking my head and she smiles at me before reaching out to hold my hand.
“I don’t want you to feel like I haven’t been allowing you to make your choices itself Arie, I have been making those choices not because I want to control you and everything that happens in your life, but because I care about you. I don’t want you to get hurt and I don’t want you to stray from the right path either. I’m very sorry if you felt like that. ” She says and I smile before shaking my head.
I cared about that when I thought that me and him had a chance of been together. I was going to make my own choice of been with him but now, that doesn’t really matter anymore.
“It is okay mom. It’s really alright, I have been stupid to have thought that I could make my own decisions myself, from now on. I will listen to whatever it is you have for me and I will follow every decision you make for me. ” I mutter and she stares at me before nodding.
“Then would you listen to this decision once more. I want you to get… ”
“Yes mom. I will get married to the guy. Even if you want it to be today. ”
“Really? ” She grins and I nod with a smile once again.
I will do whatever she asks of me and just like always, I will conceal my pain with a smile because. Nothing. Matters. Anymore.