“I really can’t believe that Beck would do all that. I thought that he loves you really very much. I have no idea why he would be acting like this again. ” Ethan says and I smile before nodding.
“It wouldn’t be the first time that he would do something like this but I have just been ignoring everything and looking past his mistake and his betrayals with the hope that one day he would see just how much I really do love him and wouldn’t think of hurting me anymore. ” But that was a dream though because the moment he apologies for one and promises never to do such thing like that ever again. I always catch him in the same act over and over again that I’m just so fed of. Of everything. I wish that I didn’t love him this deeply.
I wish that I could just forget about him and everything that’s Beck but that’s the real problem that I have right now. I can’t forget about him. I can never forget about the times that we have had together. The good times when we have been so much in love with each other or at least that’s what I just thought.
“I know that this must be hurting very much right now. I know that you must feel this betrayal to your bones cause I know what it means to love someone so much and not getting that love reciprocated… ” He smiles at me as I raise my head even higher to look at him, the tears already stopping.
I never for once saw him as the type of guy that would have ever been in love with someone or even had the nerves to care about someone.
I had always look at him the same way that I have always looked at Javier. As the ones that would never ever fall in love because they have made their own hearts give up on that word or just merely don’t want to be in love but even if Javier could have fallen in love with Arielle. Javier of all people then Ethan been in love with someone doesn’t come as near as a surprise.
“I know that look. The look that says you haven’t actually excepted me to say something like that but we are all human aren’t we? We all deserve to love someone and we all deserve to be loved. ” He smiles at me and I return the smile to him before sighing, letting out a breath as my phone vibrates next to the couch once again and without having to look at it, I know that it would most definitely be him.
With trembling fingers, I try to think hard about it. If this is really what I want. If I really do want to return to the life where my decisions doesn’t matter and where I’m always been controlled.
Taking a deep breath, I decided that this could either be the best decision that I would ever make for my life or it could be the best since I suck at making decisions myself anyways.
“Arielle… ” Her voice comes in and I sniff to stop the tears that are rolling to stop falling.
Maybe she has been right after all, maybe this isn’t the life for me. Maybe this is just something I had to go through to know even though she had been making them in the wrong way, all the decisions that she had made for me is always to keep me safe and I’m glad for it. I have finally come to realize that, which is why…
“I want to come home mother. “