I hate parties. Maybe because I can’t dance. Or maybe because I hate the whole social kiniko kiniko that go with it. But the way Clara asked me to come for that party mehn…it wasn’t a small thing. I just had to say yes then after I said yes I regretted I hadn’t said no. But I haf say the yes already na. It would be fack up to come and start changing mouth again.So that’s how I agreed to go party o.
That day, as in the party day; I cleaned up then pinged Clara and asked her to send me directions then she did and then come and say one mumu thing about the party being an all white thing. Are you kidding me. Is it NYSC.
When It got time to ball out, I looked at my wardrobe . There was only one white in there (I hate white. Minus joke) and the one in the wardrobe was a trad plus it was dirty. I can’t wear dirty white trad na to this kind of party na What kind of mumu all white party sef. I went and took my bath, dressed up with what was in the wardrobe and just balled out. I followed the direction to the place the party was supposed to hold.
Actually the place na Liberty estate. If you live in Enugu then you will know the place for real mehn. So piam piam. I followed direction and got to the house. Mehn, that house wasn’t here o. Fine fine anyhow like this eh. I knocked on the gate and waited. That was when I first chop my first Sh*t. Well, not like Sh*t for real. As in, what happened was I knocked and gateman looked at me like I messed beans mess.
The malam face no nice at all. “Who you dey fine?” he almost barked. How will I answer now. “I come for the party”. I finally managed to say after my head been blank. “Comot here. Oga pikin say na white”. Vam and he banged gate on my face. I smile. Like all those smile you smile when you feel somebody have just insulted you but you don’t know what to do. So you just laugh yourself and say “chai, I don suffer for people hand”. That kain smile. I picked my phone and called Clara.
“Gateman doesn’t want me to enter o”. Dude, my mind voice said when I said that, you just sounded like small pikin now she you know?. Eh wahever, I agreed, live it like that.
“Why na?” Clara asked.
“He said I’m not putting on you people’s uniform”. She laughed. Then said something about me always liking to break rules and told me to wait. Ten minutes later and she showed. d–n, that girl is fine. No worry. She wore white but white haven’t looked so sinful as it did on that babe, I thought a lot of things when I saw her that I no go like talk about here – Bumshort. Horribly short bumshort like this eh…Choi. Then she come wear this top that just showed her booby like Ish the booby’s birthday.
Forget my guy, let’s not go there. She said something to the Gateman and the fool come gree to allow me enter. I got in and gave him my best evil eye and passed. Clara then lead me up a walkway to the front door and Opened it. we got in. That was when I started wishing say I get sense just go fin white borrow. Everybody just wear white, na me just off. And no chair dey the place. Seems they removed it.
Everyone was standing. Cocktail kinda Sh*t. A fine very tall guy walked up to us. I’m not fine, I know. But that guy’s fresh fine-ness just made me look twice as ugly as I dey mehn. No shiii. I looked and recognized him from Clara’s dp. That guy I been see for her dp na. Shey you remember? Ehm.
“DANIEL”. Clara said.
“Meet my boyfriend. Jay, Meet DANIEL” That was when I wished I hadn’t come. And in one simple sentence she just turned my belle. But there was more…
To Be Continued…
