His fingers wrapped around my hair as he kissed me like he was thirsty and I was the only water on land, my shirt had gone off, his too , he put me on the counter and went down on me.. I woke up, then put on the light in the dark room, Rebecca was peacefully asleep..my palms on my face I sighed realising I was dreaming about it again..and sweating. My phone buzzed with a message, I picked it up
“Can’t sleep, I’ve been thinking about you” it read, was he kidding
“LEAVE ME ALONE” I texted back “Stop messing with my head” I said into the quiet room, then laid back and tried to pray, there was a long silence before he texted again
“I’m never gonna touch you again..the thing is..you want me to” Why was I replying him again? I sent him a glaring face
”I don’t want you to”
“Ok…do please forgive me..I guess I lost it”
“You need God..”
“Yeah…maybe he could help me with this” I stared at the phone then put off the light and slept off. I realised I didn’t ask him about his mother, maybe because I just didn’t care anymore, he had succeeded in destroying all the defences I had taken years to build up and that wasn’t safe, I wasn’t going to let him get to me again.
I put him behind me, didn’t return his texts or calls, I decided all I felt for him was plain lust, that was why he was plaguing my dreams..and I had no intention of allowing the devil to destroy my life. Erica was on break and decided to come visit me in school, after gisting Rebecca and I about NYSC camp, we decided to try our hands on baking
“Rebecca I love you but you do not know a thing about baking”she said
” yea..give me some credit, I’ve never baked a cake”
“Word?.. Well you stir anticlockwise”
“Well I’m good with other things”
“Yes clearly, you’re better than my sister in many things “Erica said glancing at me for a reaction, I didn’t reply
” I hear one nigga’s been chasing you around campus”she said I looked at Rebecca surprised
“Not Rebecca, I have my sources” she said “hear he’s really fine, is he rich..do you like him?” I looked at Rebecca again
“What, you not gonna tell your sister anything, I could advice you” I didn’t need her advice but I sighed
“Yea, but he drinks and smokes”
“Yippe..he’s the one, that’s him baby.. I like a guys that’s real” I just gaped at her then looked at Rebecca who mouthed a “Sorry” at me ” your no help” of course she ll like someone who was just like her, I kept the napkin and walked away from them Erica looked at us
“what did I say?” I didn’t want anybody to talk about it or bring him up. I had succeeded in putting him behind me and had started hanging out with Martins again, he was safe and would never make me do something bad like commit a sin against God, I was in control and I liked that.. Sean was…dangerous.
“Yes” I told Martin at fellowship “I ll date you” I said, I already pictured myself as his wife and was comfortable with it, he took me in his arms and hugged me
“I love you Emilia” he said.