“Oh! why wont you rather live together at my place since it is very good enough for a small family? You have been the best tenant i have ever had and i am really sad you want to move out at a time when you have expressed your desire to buy it and we have started the processes for you to mortgage it. Are you sure you really want to do that? You even renewed your rent not too long ago remember?”
“Yes Sir!I have made up my mind and I believe it is the best thing to do. For the mortgage, i will continue the process and when it’s due to be mine i will take ownership so it’s okay with me Sir!”.
It was a long chat at the barracks office as she was being advised to re-consider her hasty decision but her mind was fully made up. Afia was living in a beautiful two bedroom story house which belonged to Mr. Sarpong, while Kwame was in a chamber and a hall in a compound house. Kwame convinced Afia they got a different place to move in immediately since they had become inseparable. Afia also complied and they went in search for a new accommodation. They got one and now money to pay for rent. Kwame could not afford so Afia had to step in (used the balance she collected from Mr Sarpong with the supervision of Kwame) to pretend it was Kwame who paid for the place so that all would respect him. Kwame insisted Afia moved in with him immediately.
That was how come Afia gave out her beautiful place and moved in with Kwame together with her youngest brother who was then with her as he was still in the university. After-all they were going to get married anyway.
Now living together under one roof was an experience. Afia thought she found herself very happy and the usual checks was on her at all times especially when she was not at home making her feel she was really being loved at last by a man.
“I have come to realize that we spend so much time investing in relationships, I am not against it,it is very good. But we cannot forget that investment in ourselves is as important”. They washed together, cooked together, cleaned the house together. They actually behaved like twins, very inseparable. They were actually found everywhere together to the admiration of all.They were really enjoying each other’s company.
Afia by nature is the very hard working type who never played with her job. She always wants to try her hands at something new and ready to improve upon what she already knows. She suddenly became an all round person and could handle any position at work and always fit in when a staff was absent to play his or her role. Her Superiors at work were always happy with her output. She was not able to even take leave for long periods because there was no one to step in to do good job as her (that was what her bosses always said).So she always took short leaves wherever she worked.
“In this journey called life, choose well who you would take with you on your path in life.Choice of the wrong partner or friends who tear you down, whether outright or covertly will ruin you. If there is someone in your life who makes you feel less or trashes your dreams, get them off your path. Their path is way different from yours and it leads you down. You will not do well with them constantly trying to divert you”
Afia started buying items and preparing for their marriage ceremony. Though they had not yet agreed on a date for the marriage. Kwame after allowing Afia to move in with him, suddenly felt the marriage should not be that too soon but Afia was not comfortable about them living together while they were not yet married. She sometimes wished she had not given up her place to move in with him if the marriage rites was to take a bit longer. She worked very hard to make sure all what was needed for the wedding was well place in advance as she was a good and advanced planner.
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All through life, there are people who will pressure you for whatever reason to do things that you simply don’t agree with. They have all kinds of “good reasons” but the bottom line is that if they are not your reasons, don’t do it. You will regret it and pay for it in lost time, and energy repairing situations that would have been fine if you had kept to your own ideas. You’ve probably heard the song lyrics,
“A house is not a home, when there’s no one there to hold!
”What changes a house into a home is, in fact, love; true love.
True love is not selfish and does not take revenge if it does not receive love in return. True love gives without expectation.
“Where there is love there is life.” – Mahatma Gandhi
Love strengthens the connection, while anger tears it apart. With love also comes sacrifice. In a close relationship there will definitely be a lot of arguments, disharmony and disagreements. You cannot expect family life to always be “peace, love and harmony.”
As the connection gets closer, frictions get more pronounced! Think realistically. No one is perfect. No matter how sweet and wonderful a person is, there will always be shortcomings. Roses always come with thorns you know! If you accept the fact that everyone is bound to make mistakes, it will be easier to accept and love your family as they are.
“In marriage you love a lot and forgive a lot. Love is the lubricant!” – Master Choa Kok Sui
It doesn’t matter if you are a mother, a father, a husband or a wife, whatever position you have in a family, you need to give freedom to the other members of it.No one likes to be ruled all the time. Freedom is one of the most basic needs of humanity and one of the greatest gifts in life. Growth is basically the result of having freedom, while too much control brings, anger, frustration and disappointment. Work on your trust. With trust comes freedom.
My definition of Friendship is that: “Friendship is built on two things. Respect and trust. Both elements have to be there. And it has to be mutual. You can have respect for someone, but if you don’t have trust, the friendship will crumble.” Over-possessiveness happens when we are afraid that by giving enough freedom, the person will leave or will commit a mistake. In fact, over-controlling often chases people away. It also obstructs the talents and passions of the other person, preventing them from blooming. If you are a parent, you need to give enough freedom to your children to allow them to follow their dreams.
Although giving freedom is not guaranteed to keep a partner or keep a child from committing a mistake, it is necessary to build a good foundation for a respectful family relationship. You know, until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back– Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation), there is one elementary truth that ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves too.
All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one’s favor all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamed would have come his way.
It was a beautiful Tuesday and Afia went to work as usual very early and in high spirits as she was satisfied with results of a task she was working on and anxious to beat the deadline in completing it so she could discuss it with her Director. As usual she was the first to arrive at work being the a Manager to make sure things were in place before she settled down at her desk. At home that evening as they were retiring to bed,
“Kwame! there is something I have to tell you:
What does Afia want to tell Kwame, is she having a miss feeling after thinking this all through
Lets find out next week Monday
AMA (Women On The Move)
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